(Closed) Those who sleep without their FI/DH/SO regularly- LEO, Military, etc

posted 5 years ago in Wellness
Post # 17
2967 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i used to spray my husband’s cologne on a pillow or stuffed animal and snuggle up with that and just watch tv until i’d fall asleep.

Post # 18
583 posts
Busy bee

I just turn to the edge of the bed and scoot as close to the edge as I can, then pretend he’s there on the other side but I’m so close to my edge of the bed that I can’t feel him. I even imagine a secene of us getting into bed together that was based on the last night that we did so. That should trick your brain enough to make your body feel the way it feels when he’s there (ie. slowing your heart rate and breathing). It’s all based on neurofeedback research.

Post # 19
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

my SO switched to working nights (330pm-3am) from working AM shift (5am-330pm) for the past 2 years, so it was a bit of an adjustment since i go to bed around 12a and up by 7am. 

when it was hard to fall asleep at first, so I downloaded a few “sleep” apps on my phone including anything from sound machines to sleep hypnosis / meditation. I tried them out each night and found out which ones worked best for me! 

maybe it also helps cuddling up to my big puppy 😉

Post # 20
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I totally understand you… Before Fiance went away to study for his PhD we’ve lived together for 5 yrs, and before that I always slept next to my sister so I am sooo used to talk before sleeping that if I’m alone, I just can’t stop thinking!!!! Or I never want to go to sleep cause when I do, I realize FI’s not there and that I’m all alone : ( So usually I try to read something just before sleeping to get my mind off things… it barely works though sigh.

Post # 21
310 posts
Helper bee

gingerkitten:  I’m sorry.  My SO is retired military, and now we’re LD, so I have quite a bit of experience sleeping alone!

I’ll tell you two things I do, and two things I don’t do.

I’m fortunate in that SO and I usually are able to talk on the phone before bed.  We have a sort of ritual which includes me checking the locks and the windows while we talk, so he knows I’m safe.  When we can’t talk, I read a text or email from him that I’ve saved, or even listen to his voice in a voicemail, so I still feel like we’ve just talked.

Two things I make sure not to do-I try to spread out in bed, so I’m not on “my” side, constantly reminded that his is empty.  I also make sure not to watch Investigation Discovery before bed!

ETA: those lavender pillow sprays really work to calm me, and also smell amazing.

Post # 22
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Fiance was military when we began dating. We were long distance for 4 years!! And that really affected my sleep patterns (which used to be flawless before him!) what really helped me was those white noise sleep sounds apps on my iPhone. Fiance personally mixed one for us (you can make custom sounds) and we had some giggles while we made our own, so when I was having a really hard time I always put on our own white noise and that made me feel better. 

I also did some guided meditations (also on App Store) and those worked great too. 

Nothing compares to having my man right next to me but I hope one of these suggestions helps!

Post # 23
10650 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

gingerkitten:  I find the best ones have something that interests me, but don’t get me thinking too much.  A few segments helps, especially if the first is something I’m interested in but less for for the ones later.

Darling Husband listens to skeptical podcasts, so those are the ones I started with.  I branched out a bit, John Hopkins was one I enjoyed at bedtime.

Post # 24
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

SO is in the military, so hes been gone for training and what not. Hes actually leaving again for 4 months on Sunday, but luckily, he’ll only be 2 hours away, so I will be able to visit often. I usually work out fairly late when hes gone so I will be super tired and then drink my favorite sleepytime tea. I sleep in one of his shirts too so that helps.

Post # 25
11520 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

gingerkitten:  DH used to work night shift.  I found having noise in the background (for me, a movie I’ve seen 100 times becomes like white noise).  I also found that Tazo Calm tea (a chamomile blend) helped me to relax and drift off faster.  Darling Husband is working days now, but when he’s gone for even one night I notice a difference in how easily I fall asleep.

Post # 26
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

After sleeping together almost every night through 3 years of college and living together afterwards, I am now in a LDR with my fiance. It’s so dorky but I sleep with a stuffed animal he got me when we’re apart. If I’m at a hotel or friend’s house where it is socially unacceptable to bring a stuffed bear with me at my age, I just hug a pillow or blanket. Body pillows that PP mentioned are a great idea if you don’t have a cute stuffed animal you’re attached to or want to feel like you’re 6 years old lol.

Post # 27
2837 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

gingerkitten:  OK– this might not be a fan-favorite….but Unisom, 25mg.

Here’s my sleep predicament:  my husband starts work @ 4am, so he tends to fall asleep much earlier than I do.  I don’t know why, but I fall asleep MUCH easier when he is awake- or we’re falling asleep at the same time.  

To top things off, I am pregnant right now, so falling asleep just isn’t easy and I wake often because I have to pee.

I started taking Unisom as an anti-nausea helper.  It was originally produced for anti-nausea, but because it tends to make people sleepy, it’s marketed as a sleep aid. 

I can vouge for the fact it’s not addictive– I’ve certainly fallen asleep without it no problem.  It doesn’t knock me out, which is important to me.  Not sure what the 50mg would do- I’ve only taken the 25.  I can take it and still be up for an hour – but it relaxes me just enough to want to fall asleep.




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