(Closed) Thought he was going to do it….but darn money is in the way

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

Amen Girl! That’s totally how I feel. If it weren’t for money I would have a ring by now. I hate this feeling.

And I am so in your same boat. When they ask you questions about life or being happy continuing to bring up the OBVIOUS is like beating a dead horse definitely. I’ve been doing good though thus far. I haven’t said ANYTHING about it and honestly it’s making ME feel better and I’m sure making him feel better as well.

 

Post # 4
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think the problem with expecting and trying to anticipate a proposal is that you experience the disappointment you keep describing in your posts. I feel for you…but it sounds like your guy is really sweet to you in general, so perhaps try focusing on that for a while? The happiness, I mean, instead of if there’s going to be a ring soon. GL.

Post # 5
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Your post had me laughing because one night I thought my bf was going to propose too. We were in Jamaica celebrating my birthday. On the day of my birthday we went ziplining, sightseeing, and had a romantic dinner; I was whipped. I feel asleep and he was like wake up you have to get dress, you have to get out of the room. I was saying to myself this is it this is it. We went out to the clubs came back and there were rose petals on the floor candles, a hot bath the whole nine yards. I was soaking myself, he said he would be right back and to close my eyes. Girl he came back with a birthday cake. I was so happy but in the back of my mind I was so upset. So that is when I realized to be patient; and I am patiently waiting

Post # 8
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

@Statutory Grape: WOW! Thank you. I needed that for myself. When the smoke clears I may not have a ring (yet). But my guy is the best! And I need to be grateful and thankful, not take that for granted.

Post # 9
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@yellowlinedpage: Actually, mine wouldn’t…I mean, if I KNEW money was the issue, it might cross my mind briefly but I wouldn’t think “This is it.”

Have you ever mentioned to him that he can propose to you without the ring? That’s an option, too, and might alleviate your frustration. After all, the ring is just a sparkly…I think it’s the dedication and the question that matter.

Post # 10
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

@7mom: That is hilarious. I would have felt the same way. My bday is next month so I am totally trying to sike myself out of expecting the proposal to avoid disappointment. Regardless though that was romantic what he did for you and he put thought into it. He really tried to cater to you on your bday and I know you love him for that.

Post # 11
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I have had a few of those moments where I thought was going to be asking… and oh my did my heart pound in my chest!! Remembering it actually makes me happy because, like you said, for those few moments you are SO SO happy and SO excited. Just like that other “why I’m glad to be waiting” thread says, I know that excitement is going to come back when he really does propose! 

And as for money- do I ever hear you today!! There is something wrong with my car and last night I was so upset. My boyfriend is nearly ready to purchase a diamond and a ring and we were going to go away for a mini vacation in a couple weeks. All I could think was what if my car is seriously broken? Then he wont be able to buy a ring and we wont be able to go away… I still don’t know what’s wrong with my car, but I don’t think it will be as big of a repair as I initially thought. 

I hope you guys can save up quickly so you can keep enjoying sweet moments together- soon as an engaged couple!

Post # 13
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

@yellowlinedpage: Why don’t you stress to him that you would be happy with a smaller/cubic zirconia/moissanite/white sapphire/plain band ring (assuming that you would be)? For us, it made the difference between him having the ring now (just waiting for him to give it to me!) and him only being halfway there in terms of savings.

Sometimes it helps to tell them this. My boyfriend didn’t even know what moissanite was before I explained it, and was expecting to have to save 4k because that’s what I “deserved”! That would have taken FOREVER!

Post # 14
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If you’re okay with it, check into other options as AmuseMeMusically suggested.  My e-ring will be blue and white sapphires…but he proposed with a plain white gold band that we’ll use for my wedding band later, because the custom work on my e-ring will take a while.  Surprisingly, no one has made any snarky comments, even when I tell them the e-ring won’t be a diamond.  See if there’s a budget-cutting solution you’re both happy with.  It took my guy a while to warm up to a white sapphire, but now he loves it because I’ll have a very unique ring.  🙂

Post # 15
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@yellowlinedpage: I had a moment like that when I was waiting too. My boyfriend was super insistant that we take a walk around the neighborhood, which we do very sportatically. We walked down to this bridge at the end of the block and just stood there watching the water and talking. He starts saying all of these romantic things and Im thinking this could be it… but nope. A few days later when I told him about it he laughed and I punch him in the arm. Stupid boys! The real proposal was definitely worth the wait though.

Post # 16
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I know exactly how you feel the my best friend/roommate is in waiting too but she has not been with her SO nearly as long as the SO and I have been together and he talks to her all the time about getting her a ring and her timeline and BLAHBLAHBLAH well one day she was gushing about how she is going to get a ring to me in front of my SO well he could tell I was trying to be happy for her but on the inside it was hurting me. Later that night he took me aside and said

 “I know all that was really getting to you, but I just want you to know if I had the money he has you would have had the ring you deserve a long time ago, but I’m trying really hard and there is a special savings account just for your ring I promise and just so you know I’m not going to be like him and let you in on all this stuff you are going to be so suprised when it happens babe”

I love him so much!  but darn that money thing we both work so hard to get by but the way I have started to look at is that first of all if he did have the money and I knew it, I’d spend all my time wondering why it hadn’t happened yet and if that was what he really wanted and also my ring is going to mean so much to me because I know he didn’t just get up one day and go buy a ring he worked long hours and did odd jobs on the side and scraped and saved for a long time and that really makes me feel so loved and cherished that he would go through all that just to make me his wife

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