- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
Bees, Darling Husband and I decided about a month or two ago to start looking at houses and I was SO excited. Our current house is way too small for a family, and though we won’t be TTC for a few more years we wanted to start looking. Well, as wedding planning proved, once I start planning something I kinda get obsessed, so I’ve been looking online daily and we’ve been to a few showings.
Last night we were looking at a HUD home that we have decided not to bid on, and I asked if we could see another house on the block that happens to be for sale while we were there…and I am SO in love with this house. It is perfect – both Darling Husband and I said that it is our dream house. It has everything we could ever need or want and is quite a deal – Darling Husband likes it better than his parents’ house, which cost at least 80k more than this one! However, despite being quite a deal…it is still fairly expensive. I crunched the numbers many times, and we could have it paid off in 15 years and still put about 1k into savings each month after taking care of all expenses. But Darling Husband just can’t get his mind around spending so much money on a house. He wants to spend like 60k less than this house is marked at, but he hates all the houses in that price range!
His mom called tonight, and before I know it she has the house pulled up on her computer and is going on about how it’s expensive and we’re young and will want to move a bunch and we shouldn’t buy the first house we see. Yes, we’re young, but we can afford it, and we’ve discussed it and decided that whatever home we buy we want to live in for a long time, no desire to move every 5 years like his parents tend to do, and this is the area/school district we want to raise our children in. Funnily enough, he ended up totally defending the house I want to her and sounded exactly like me in the argument we’ve been having for two days, and now he is considering the house! So that backfired on her but helped me!
I think what is making this tough for Darling Husband is that he has never had debt before. Literally none. Everything he currently owns was paid for in full, and all his credit cards are paid off every month. So instead of seeing that we can afford this amazing home he just gets freaked out by the number we will owe and thinks it’s going to damage our retirement plans. This from the guy in his 20s who has no debt and about 100k saved up! And I’m making okay money now, but it will be much better in a couple years once I have my degree- but I find it unlikely we’re going to find our dream home at this price again. His parents have it drilled in his head that he is basically ruining his life if he buys a house that costs more than the amount he has in savings, and that he is unecessarily throwing away money on interest when he could just wait to buy it until he can pay in full. I see their point about paying interest, but most people (unlike them, the millionaires) do this – have a mortgage and pay interest. We can comfortably afford the monthly payments. Yes, we’ll pay interest, but to me it is worth it to have a great home in a great area to raise our family in. Is it selfish of me to feel that way? I guess, but hey, it’s our money and our home…I think we’re going to setup a meeting with DH’s financial advisor to discuss it, because I know even if we don’t buy this house we need to come to a consensus on how much we’d like to spend on a house – I thought we had, but turns out not so much!
I guess this is just a vent, but if any bees have any advice on home buying I’d be happy to hear it! Especially if you and your SO had different ideas about how much you wanted to spend on a home, how did you come to a compromise or agreement?