Post # 17
Future Mother-In-Law never responded to the first email, so Fiance sent a second one to her. A week after that, she texted Fiance asking him (or me) to call her.
He had a fairly long conversation with her, and told her repeatedly that we have limited space but she is still insisting on seeing who of her cousins can make it to our wedding! The one thing Fiance didn’t say outright was no, though, which I pointed out to him, even though he did say that we had already added the people will will be able to accomodate to the list. I don’t want Future Mother-In-Law to be unhappy, but we’ve explained the situation 3 times now and it doesn’t seem to be getting through.
She also talked about going out to eat instead of eating at our reception again.
Lord, have mercy.
Post # 18
It’s like a bad dream that doesn’t end. Now FI’s sister says Future Mother-In-Law wants to ask me to to lunch but doesn’t know how. I don’t really understand that…just ask? The worst I could say was no, and I’m not going to say no.
All I can think is that this is what she wants to talk about. I don’t know what I would say, and can’t imagine it would end without me accidentally saying something offensive. I don’t want that to happen; I do care what Future Mother-In-Law thinks of me.
Right before that info came through, I asked Fiance to call his mom tonight and invite a few more of the people on her list. I don’t want to be a pushover, but my desire for this shit to be resolved is now outweighing my desire to not be walked on.
Luckily we had ice cream at work. That helped…for a bit.
Post # 19
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
So sorry you’re still dealing with guest list drama. It’s frustrating.
My Future Mother-In-Law keeps telling me she needs to see our guest list sometime so she can figure out who we might have missed or who we need to add. Fiance just tells her NO, flat out NO. Anytime she suggests inviting people – like his great aunt’s cousin’s brother’s nephew – NO, inviting random women she works with or her boss – NO, we’re not inviting our coworkers why would we invite hers? I have a hard time saying no and don’t want to offend her either but we are limited too. I’m very grateful Fiance has no problem just telling Future Mother-In-Law NO, in fact neither do Future Brother-In-Law or FSIL! LOL.
To be fair we did actually miss one cousin when we sent out STDs, she let us know. “Hey, Bob didn’t get a STD” , that one was “OOOPS!!” Mailed one the next day! But aside from that I think we got all the important people otherwise there would have been a lot more complaints about people not getting one.
Ice cream is always helpful! Maybe buy Future Mother-In-Law some when you go out to lunch to lessen the blow. 🙂
I would try to be apologetic (since you seem like you genuinely are) but firm – you are very sorry but you cannot accommodate more people, no matter what, no “creative solutions” are going to work out.
Post # 20
- Wedding: June 2014 - Twin Oaks Garden House
@DomesticDiva: OMG girl I feel like I will be going through the same thing. we have 80 we are paying for and any extra we pay on top of and we are at 90 guests so far (it sucks to say it but I hope some RVSP no) and I have a back up list of people I want to invite but others have priority)
My fiance always has someone new to add and I had to put my foot down. SOME OF THEM I HAVE NEVER MET and my Fiance and I have been together for about 9 years! I said NO if I have not met them they are NOT coming!!! He has a small family on his dads and a little larger on his mom (Meixcan family) and some of his moms side cousins he tried to invite (One only because he was in their wedding 20 years ago but yet I’ve never met these people).
and I had to cut my list down (I come from a VERY VERY big Mexican family) and I have to ask myself….who calls me to wish me happy birthday or who invites me to their stuff or even who has me in their phone and calls or texts me every now and then
Post # 21
Thanks for the commiseration! 🙂 Here’s crossing my fingers that this mess will be figured out soon…
I’m still unsure of what to say back to FI’s sister’s message. :