- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
I am writing this post with tears in my eyes. I have been engaged about 1 year now, and the planning has been going fairly well, despite obvious monetary setbacks since we are paying for it all ourselves on top of our mortgage, etc. I have noticed the past couple of months that people are really showing their true colors. My mother-in-law made very rude suggestions about how my sister (matron of honor) was planning my bridal shower. It was supposed to be a surprise for me, and she made comments about the guest list, and told my sister she HAD to invite so-and-so. No children were to be there, and people had their children running around my sister’s empty house throwing toys across her living room, while the parents sat outside in the yard. My mother-in-law was so rude, making comments about bug spray about 50 times and barking orders at me while I was opening my gifts. “just rip it open already!” or “no sara, open this one next!” or butting into conversations I was having with my guests to have me come do or show me something. There have been remarks made about how we “have to” invite kids to our wedding as well. We don’t have room for kids, and our wedding is being held at an antique mansion–need I say more. I also just think weddings aren’t meant for kids…they get bored and the adults can’t let loose and enjoy themselves for 1 night. My bridal shower was kind of a disaster…. very few close family members attended (which is typical for holidays, etc in our family unfortunately)…and very few friends showed. I felt very depressed about this. I try to be positive in everything I do and do everything for others, but I couldn’t help but feel like a failure that I had such poor attendance. I made a big deal about it and enjoyed myself with those who were there because I know my sister and bridesmaids worked very hard, and everything was put together so perfectly. Then I sign onto Facebook this morning to a rude message from a cousin of a cousin (yes, that extended family) which was snarkily saying:
“Hey, glad u had a great bridal shower… i suppose u arent inviting ur extended fam to the wedding, but we would have been there for ur shower if invited. Sorry it doesnt seem like much of ur family was.”
I have a very large extended family,….and only a close-family budget. I am just so sick of being told I’m not planning our wedding right or not doing this or that. I have tried so hard to be courteous and smile through everything and I want it to be a happy occasion. I dont’ want to burden my bridesmaids or anyone about it because I know they are working hard to plan special things for us. I just feel like I am being bogged down with negativity when this is supposed to be such a joyous occasion.
Our groomsmen are another story. I am so upset that they have made zero attempts to even text my fiance or hang out with him. He is such a good friend to them and they do not reciprocate. His one friend lives almost 2 blocks away and never texts him to hang out. He is recently married as well, and his wife is not the friendliest person in the world. I found out she made rude comments at my surprise engagement.
It just feel like we are such nice, good people and we are constantly getting walked on. We both do anything for anyone and are giving individuals, only the wedding planning isn’t showing that.
I just needed to vent….I have no one else to talk to really!