Post # 1
So dh and i got married in september this year so are currently happy newlyweds! Originally we’d discussed trying for a baby at the start of 2019 but now we’re trying to buy a house too (we’ve both only ever rented so this would be our first house). So in order to get both financially we had a conversation today about starting to try for our first baby mid 2020. The alternative would be to try next year for a baby still but we wouldn’t be able to afford a house and likely never lol. So i guess my question is does this new 2020 plan sound ok? I’m currently 30 and dh is 37, so by mid 2020 I’ll be 32 and dh 39. We want 2 kids and have been together 8 yrs. I guess I’m a bit concerned about getting older and all the rest! Thanks in advance 🙂
Post # 2
I had my firsts 3 months shy of turning 33 years old. I too was concerned about fitting in a second but ‘luckily’ It was twins so that’s removed the pressure. Although I wouldn’t have any more now because twins pregnancy and twins in general are intensely difficult, and I don’t want more than two kids, I feel fairly confident that had I only had one baby I would have felt ok about trying for a second around 34/35years old.
Post # 3
You’re in a pretty similar position to us, married this September and wanting to have our financial ducks in a row for a house purchase. I’m 31, hubby has just turned 31. Originally we had thought after getting married we’d start trying early 2019, but we have fallen for a new build house that won’t be built till late 2019/early 2020. Add the earliest possible moment I’ll be 33 for our first, and I admit I am concerned about it! Sometimes being sensible sucks!
Post # 4
You wouldn’t be able to afford a house if you got pregnant in 2019 but if you got pregnant in 2020 after you have the house, you could afford the house and the baby? Is something going to change in another year that makes you think you will be able to afford both?
Or are you referring to a down payment? I’m not attacking you or anything, I’m really just curious
Post # 5
If delaying another year puts you in a better financial position and puts you right where you want to be when you have a baby, I say delay it a year.
Post # 6
I vote house! Not sure where you’re from, but where I am 30 is not old, it’s average. Early-mid 30s is totally normal.
Post # 8
sunnybee88 : I don’t get why you can afford both if the house comes first but not the other way around. I’d do baby on your original timeline just in case you have any issues – better to find out earlier than later.
Post # 9
Thanks all – yes i should have mentioned we could afford the downpayment in 2 yrs not 1which will be the difference
Post # 10
I’m just a tad older than all of you😝I do agree with planing it out and I truly understand trying to give yourself goals and timelines but I just want to throw this out there…. We have plans for life and sometimes life has other plans for us. Try and I say TRY (I tend to stress and have a timeline also so I say TRY) BUT try to just let things happen naturally and enjoy the moments as they come!! I myself am TRYING to do the SAME ( during the timelines and wedding planning)
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2018 - Location
Why won’t you buy a house now and start TTC when you move in? Even if it happens right away you’ll still have 9 months until baby arrives which would be basically 2020 anyway. I don’t see the point of putting it off but maybe I’m missing something here!
Post # 12
I would TTC after you move in.
Post # 13
Ugh. Such a hard call.
I think you have to have a serious conversation with your husband about your priorities. For example, if you could only have one, either the house or the child, which would you pick? This is clearly hypothetical and in all likelihood you won’t have any problems achieving both goals, but which is really your priority? It’s easy to put off trying with the assumption that things will work out down the road, but couples don’t always get pregnant on the first try… or on multiple other tries… In short, if you’re going to wait, be really clear on why, how and when your housing goals will come to fruition. Because you can plan for houses, but babies are really another matter.