- 6 years ago
I worried for years that when my guy ‘soon’ed me, that perhaps he was just buying time. He is so wonderful in so many ways but we just could not get on the same page to get him to propose. He just never seemed to be thinking of moving forward unless I was the one to bring it up. When he gave me a definite timeframe for a proposal, I was surprised but still unsure if I could trust him. Since he’d never committed to a timeline, he had never actually missed a deadline but I was still left unsure if he was as interested in marrying me as I hoped he was.
As recently as May, we had vaguely discussed our timeline and he said he was working on proposal ideas. In late August, we both had some key career successes that seemed to take care of some worries he had occassionaly expressed in regards to being a ‘provider’. There was a moment in late Sept where I thought he was hinting that a proposal was finally on the horizon and then he planned an evening out that just seemed to have a sparkle about it when I looked at it on my calendar. When he didn’t propose, I kept quiet for about 48hours and then had to vent my anxieties.
Rather than acting defensive, he watched my tearful confusion spill out of me and comforted me by rubbing my hand. It was a departure from the defensive, irritated response he usually had when I lamented my ring-less status. He said we’d always loved Oct and he would do it this month.
It’s been a rough month but he popped the q on Sunday night! (y’all probably know this)
Last night, he pulled back the curtain on the planning and he definitely wasn’t stringing me along all those months he’d been tight-lipped!
First, our annv was in April and he thought it might be nice to propose then but the date was mid-week and my kids were with us. Plus, he wanted to do it at the site of our first kiss … which was 2 hours way in our hometown at a location we haven’t been to SINCE our kiss. He had no idea how to get me there without tipping off his plans.
The largest obstacle to nearly any grand, romantic gesture was that he works weekends and had no vacation time from which to take off. Then, when I had my freak out and he told me it’d happen this month, he knew I’d be on the lookout for anything too out of the ordinary and felt even more pressure to surprise me.
He showed me text convos between him and his buddies, trying to dream up how to do it. 10/11/12 was suggested. One buddy noticed Fb posts regarding our parents having the same annv (10/18) and suggested he propose on that day but it’s also one of my children’s bdays so that would’ve taken away from the bday and was nixed. We had a huge bday party that weekend and since all our family would be there, he considered doing it then but it didn’t ‘feel’ right to him (and for good reason – that was the annv of my FIRST wedding -haha)(so, don’t be too quick to knock ‘feelings’ -haha!)
But finally, he did it. It happened and in a way that could’ve not occurred a day sooner (or later). It was just meant to be that moment.
So … to answer my Q: Was he stringing me along? No, not at all. He was just plotting. Hindsight is, as usual, 20/20! 😉