Post # 1
Hello fellow “waiters”! I’ve been mulling over something, and after discussing with a few friends, I’ve decided to ask you guys…
What are your thoughts on getting engaged on vacation? Cheesy? Perfect? Romantic? Expected?
Few things: I’ve seen a trend amongst friends, via Facebook. Couple goes on vacation, and along with vacation photos, there are engagement pictures. They’re always wonderful and sweet, but I can’t help but feel that for the party getting asked, that it’s kind of expected?
Case in point: My boyfriend and I will be celebrating our 2nd anniversary this October. To celebrate, we’re renting a cottage on Cape Cod — a really nice and romantic sounding getaway that I’m really excited for. A few friends brought up the idea that me might propose during this vacation, and now I can’t get it out of my mind! So much that I’m afraid I won’t really get to enjoy my vacation because I’ll be wondering when he’ll propose! We’ve been speaking at length about getting married: picked out a church and reception venue, discussed colors, save th dates. All the details are in motion, there just isn’t the formal “will you marry me?” and ring. Not that those things are important, but those are the things that people always ask when you say you’re engaged.
What are your thoughts? Am I nuts and too presumptious?
Likewise, my former roommate, who lives with her boyfriend of 4 years, recently went on a romantic tropical vacation with him and DIDN’T come home engaged. I surprised myself even by scouring the pictures for a ring, or any sign that I should offer a “congratulations”. Is that nuts too??
Post # 3
My thoughts on getting engaged on vacation?: At this point, the only way a proposal could possibly be bad is if one of us is on the toilet. Anything other than that would be magnificent.
My thoughts on getting your hopes up for vacation?: People will tell you to just enjoy your vacation and to not think about it, but guess what, that thought is in your brain and it’s there to stay!
My thoughts on you scouring your friends pics for a ring shot?: I think we all do that to confirm our belief that everyone in a serious relationship MUST get engaged on vacation. It keeps our hopes afloat.
If you’ve talked about wedding venues and colors, it’s only a matter of time!! Have fun on vacation and try not to think about it (haha..yeah right!)
Post # 4
I got engaged on vacation and it was SO PERFECT! I think it made it more magical that we were in a special city and in a hotel room and it wasn’t just the same as every other day.
But… I still always dreamed about our families being there as or after he proposed and they weren’t. Right after he proposed I was kind of disapointed that they didn’t pop out of another room with champagne or something…so I guess that’s the downside to a vacation proposal.
Post # 5
I got engaged on vacation, but it wasn’t expected. We were celebrating our fifth anniversary on this vacation as well, so maybe that’s why I wasn’t expecting it because we’ve gone on several vacations before some with and without friends. I liked being alone on vacation instead of having to face the barrage of questions.
Post # 6
I don’t have any advice for you, but I really do know how you feel. Having been the recipient of a destination proposal, they are just as awesome as any other type of proposal.
FH (then bf of 6 years) and I went on vacation when I graduated my Master’s program. He didn’t propose to me but it was in the back of my head, thinking how romantic would it be to be proposed to right here? This would make for a really beautiful proposal spot. Oooh and here! and so on. I came home with no proposal and realized that I had thought about the proposal so much that in my mind it was no longer a “could it happen” but had become “it’s going to happen on this trip”. Don’t get me wrong, I still had a fabulous vacation, but I was actually disappointed that the proposal didn’t happen… when in reality I had no solid evidence to believe a proposal would happen at all during that trip.
That being said, a few months later my then-bf took me on a surprise vacation for our 7-year anniversary. Again, I had the same thoughts of a proposal happening sometime on this trip, but they were just passing thoughts this time because I kept telling myself that I had no real proof. I also realized that I really wanted the proposal to be a surprise and me thinking such-and-such a time would be just perfect for him to get down on his knee would take away the “caught offguard shock factor” for me.
Well, he ended up completely catching me off-guard during that vacation and I actually cried I was so shocked. People ask me, “didn’t you know after 7 years?” Yes, I knew a proposal would be coming eventually, but nothing can take away the sheer joy, and in most cases the utter surprise, of your man proposing to you. Even if you have a strong feeling he will propose to you on your October anniversary trip, there’s always that doubt since you don’t know for sure, right? And you don’t know how/when/where he will propose.
Post # 7
We got engaged on vacation in New Orleans and I didn’t ever once see it coming. I guess I’m just the type who didn’t constantly think about when and where we were getting engaged. Just relax and enjoy the vacation and if it happens it happens!
Post # 8
I mean, a proposal is a proposal, right? At the end of the day it can only be good news!
I have had this battle before, though. Mainly with my own situation. We had been together almost 5 years and were about to go on a trip. At the same time we were closing on a house and had already picked out a ring. I knew it was close.
As the trip neared, everyone just knew he was going to do it on our vacay. He even asked me if I’d want it while away and I said no because it is too expected, plus I didn’t want to be worrying every single second of the trip about when and where he was going to do it. I wanted to be relaxed and just enjoy the trip.
He ended up doing it about a week before we left at my house. I loved it and it was much better (IMO) than if he had done it while away. Yes, we would have had an amazing memory from the trip, but we had amazing memories anyway, so why not create a special one at home?
I must also add that 2 months prior to this we had gone on a shorter weekend trip and I really wanted him to do it then. I kind of knew he wasn’t going to but I’m not going to lie–every time we went somewhere I was hoping he would do it. It kind of put a damper on the trip. Don’t let that happen to you (just in case it isn’t happening just yet).
I have seen many people get engaged while on trips, and that is great and I’m sure it made the trip even better, but yes, it is usually pretty expected, especially when the couple has already been talking about it/planning it.
Post # 9
I think getting engaged on vacation is really sweet.
however, I think it’s kind of starting to get out of hand… what I mean is, I think couples almost always have that added pressure now. Like, you can’t date a guy for a year/few years and just go on a trip without at least thinking about getting engaged.
I even think to myself when I hear of a friend going on a trip with her bf “they’re probably going to get engaged!”
I wonder if guys see it this way too?
Post # 10
I got engaged while on vacation, and it was beyond perfect, because we had a whole day to ourseles just to bask in our new engagment. It honestly felt like we were in a little bubble of happiness that the rest of the world had no part in.
I was not expecting it at all either, because it felt too “obvious” to do it while on vacation. In fact, my Maid/Matron of Honor and I were talking about my trip before we left, and she said “he’s totally going to propose” and I said no way!
Post # 11
We got engaged on vacation and I can honestly tell you it was a complete surprise. I fully expected we were going to get engaged at some point, but didn’t expect it for another 6 months at least. I thought it was perfect, but I guess I am just biased 😉
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
@Shosha1: See, I would have liked to be able to have that “bubble time”. We got engaged in the middle of the week, during an extremely busy workweek for both of us. It took days before we could get some alone time, which was disappointing– but nothing is perfect.
Post # 13
Let me caveat- vacation proposals are wonderful and perfect for some couples. You’re engaged. Really, in the end, that and your happiness is all that matters.
But…when I’ve put myself in that situation I just feel it’s a little cheesy and expected. Again, if it happened to ME that way, not someone else. It’s also the reason I don’t like it when boyfriends get me roses and only roses. They’re easy and cookie cutter. I like the creativity of something out of the ordinary. I would hope it wouldn’t happen on a vacation.
BUUUUT I’m sure once you take the hypothetical situation, make it reality and throw me in the mix, I’m sure I’d get caught up with it all, be insanely happy and forget all about my soapbox. 🙂 Im sure if it happened to me it would be perfect and not at all cheesy and expected. Ok. Maybe a little cheese. But it’s ok. I’m not lactose intolerant.
P.S. You’re not nuts. I’m going on vacation this week and I want to just enjoy it too. Maybe once you get somewhere relaxing and away from real life for a moment your brain will shut itself off to the worry. I know mine will. 🙂
Post # 14
I got engaged while on vacation in the Dominican Republic and it was the most amazing proposal ever!
Post # 15
@claireos: “But…when I’ve put myself in that situation I just feel it’s a little cheesy and expected.” This is exactly what I was thinking when I read the post. BUT…with that said….I would take a vacation proposal and be thrilled with it.
Post # 16
I’m all for it! Looks like that’s how my proposal will be coming… in fact, SO just mentioned that we should go to Hawaii in April 🙂
But a proposal with or without a vacation is still so wonderful!