Post # 1
Member
5 posts
Newbee
If I really stretch my budget, I can afford the liqour licsence and insurance required to serve liqour but I’m wondering if it’s really necessary… My fiance and I are only 20 (drinking age is 19 where I’m from) and we hardly drink (and when I do, one beer gets me extremely loopy). Both of the older generations of our families are pretty religious (so I don’t know if they would even accept the idea of alcohol at a wedding). However, our parent’s generation and some our friends can hardly consider an event succesful without atleast a few beers.
Our chef friends will be catering and serving the meal buffet style (so our other “staff” friends can enjoy it with us). This will be about 4:30, which I think may be too early to start drinking anyways.
Besides, i certainly can’t afford a bartender, so I don’t even know how I could serve these drinks (i was thinking chapagne, wine, and beer).
We have a fantastic DJ friend who offered his services for a HUGE discount, and a family member’s band who plans on playing a few songs, so getting people moving shouldn’t be too difficult… even without drinks. And besides, we aren’t planning on partying into the night. We’re hoping to wrap the whole thing up aroung 7pm.
But then what about the toasts? Isn’t that supposed to be champagne? But, like i said, I’m not sure i want to go through the embarasment of drinking around my new family on that day. (though it would ease the nerves exceptionally..)
So clearly, I’m leaning toward a dry wedding. But I’m terriby worried that some of the guests are going to be awfully disapointed. And if they do bring outside drinks, that could be a huuuge liability issue for both me and my venue.
I just don’t know what to do. Any advice or opinions would be great! Thanks xxx
Post # 2
Member
5188 posts
Bee Keeper
catgela: Well, you know your guests better than any random Bee, so it’s hard to make a call on this one. Maybe just have a bottle of wine at each table? The people that don’t drink can opt out, and the people who do drink can have just enough to satisfy them without getting drunk. Where I’m from it’s considered rude for a wedding to be without an open bar, but that’s obviously regional.
Post # 3
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
This is one of those contentious topics and you’ll get a lot of different opinions on here. I will say I think you should throw the kind of party you would like to attend. And the kind of party people in your family will want to attend.
I think some kinds of celebrations are more amenable to being dry events – a cake and punch reception or a brunch reception. It sounds like the earlier time of day would help with that in your case, though I would be comfortable having champagne at 5:30 at a wedding.
Post # 4
Member
6667 posts
Bee Keeper
As a person who doesn’t care for alcohol, a dry wedding wouldn’t bother me at all. You can use sparkling cider for your toasts, no problem. Anyone who makes a comment to you and yours is rude, rude, rude.
That being said, people do seem more free when there’s alcohol involved and the party may be more exciting that way. Ours was so casual it really didn’t matter, but I suggested that be my parents’ contribution as they wanted to do something for us – that way they could take home the extra. So they bought beer and that was the only alcohol we had. People inhaled the root beer, lemonade and coffee too!
As PPs said, you know your friends/family best!
Post # 5
Member
8919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
catgela: I think it’s fine. If people can’t have fun without alcohol, they have a problem. Especially when you’re doing it early and would have a bunch of additional hoops to jump through.
Post # 6
Member
3485 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
For a second I thought I might be in the minority here. I like having a drink or two at weddings, but I have no problem with dry weddings. There’s no reason guests can’t still have a good time and celebrate your marriage without liquor present. You shouldn’t have to break your budget just for alcohol.
Post # 7
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
PPs brought up a lot of good points. In my experience I only have attended one dry wedding which was for religious reasons. The younger crowd at the wedding had a good time but there was a general sense of disappoint. It seemed others at the wedding didn’t mind as much but that being said it did wrap up quite early for a later wedding (started at 6). Yours is a little different though since you want it finished by 7. Would having a bottle of wine at the table be something you may consider? Might be nice with a meal. It could be an option for those who wish to indulge and those who are opposed could have non-alcoholic options. Ultimately, only you know your guests but if you’re unsure perhaps discuss this with your fiance and immediate family.
Post # 8
Member
7903 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
If it jives with your personalities, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a dry wedding. People shouldn’t require alcohol to have a good time. For any toasts, you can always serve sparkling apple cider.
Post # 9
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
I’m doing a brunch wedding. No one in my circle is big drinkers. I’m doing a dry wedding, I think they would be surprised if I had alcohol
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This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by
PBeeWriter.
Post # 10
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
I love drinking, I love getting tipsy at fun weddings, but I would not be in any way upset if someone chose to not have booze at their wedding. Anyone that would get really upset about it is probably not at your wedding for the right reasons.
Post # 11
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: February 2015 - Mount Hermon
catgela: We also had a dry wedding, with no dancing! People told us after that our wedding was super fun. All depends on your crowd. Some people will be annoyed, but hey guess what? You’re the host. If you go to dinner at a non-drinker’s house, do you expect them to serve you wine? Not if you’re polite 😉
Don’t stretch your budget for something you won’t enjoy.
Post # 12
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
If the whole event will be over by 7 I don’t think anyone would care if it was dry. I don’t drink either, we are having beer/wine at our wedding, but only because it will be going late into the night and everyone will be staying at the hotel on the property.
As pp have said, sparkling cider should work for toasts
Post # 13
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
It is your wedding, your call. I do think beer and wind is a good choice. I do not even see a need for champagne, you can toast with wine.
Post # 14
Member
9095 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
We had a completely dry wedding, no alcohol at all. If someone is actually disappointed that there isn’t alcohol at a wedding, that’s an issue they need to deal with.
We had one person complain (My husband’s uncle) but everybody else was A-OK with it.
ETA: We toasted with sparkling cider. Our reception was over by 5.
Post # 15
Member
2001 posts
Buzzing bee
As long as it suits you and your guests I think its perfectly ok especially if its not a late evening wedding. You can toast with wine or cider. If you want to do something maybe you could do a bottle or two of wine per table and once its gone its gone.
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