(Closed) Thoughts on Bridal shower by Future In Law’s Friends

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

That’s tough…is there any polite way to see if it can be moved closer to the wedding date?  Or is your wedding also in CA (not VA).  If the latter, I would suggest going through with it b/c this might be a good way to show your Future Mother-In-Law that you are interested in being part of her family.  Think how nice it is that the friends who throw showers for each other’s *daughters* are treating you the same way.

RE: the co-ed thing, is it possible someone else can throw you a co-ed shower locally?  It doesn’t sound like this will be about your friends, and possibly your BM’s are all in CA and it would be hard for them too?  I don’t think it’ll come off as excessive if someone hosts a local shower for you that mostly includes freinds (esp. if there’s no double inviting).

Post # 4
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree with, fizicsgirl.  Even though it might be a little harder on you, I would accept the bridal shower so you don’t cause hurt feelings on your future in-laws’ side.  Are any of these ladies being invited to the wedding?  If so, it might cause some unecessary drama to decline being thrown a shower.  Even if they’re not coming to the wedding, it might really embarrass your Future Mother-In-Law if everyone else’s daughters/daughters-in-law get a bridal shower except hers.

I totally understand that you might be uncomfortable with this (aside from the money issue), and all I can offer is support.  My mom is throwing me ahometown shower next weekend with all these people I haven’t seen in years or don’t even know.  But it would really hurt her feelings if I declined or didn’t seem excited about it, so I’m putting on a brave face.   

Post # 5
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I would accept this sweet offer, since it’s really not worth upsetting your future ILs. It might be a pain, but in the end I bet you’ll have fun and it will be totally worth it. If not, you’ll get extra presents and funny stories to tell your friends back home. Plus Southern wedding showers are totally worth going to, if just for the spectacle. We do things up right! 🙂


Just ask me about when my Mother-In-Law called me fat at my baby shower! 🙂


Good luck! 

Post # 6
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m in a similar situation with my FMIL’s. They’re throwing me a shower – which is really sweet and I’m definitely going.  What I’m wondering is: are you providing them a guest list?  What if they invite people not invited to the wedding? Those are my two main concerns and I’ve got no answers for them yet.

Post # 7
1 posts
  • Wedding: October 2009

Since you live so far away…………  We too lived a great distance from where we were rto be married……………..  My mother in law had a shower for me inviting all the family and friends in the area….But instead of guests bringing the gifts wrapped the gifts at the shower so everyone could see them before they were shipped to us..  They took pictures and everything  It was so fun to unwrap them myself….. my friends taking pictures and sending back to the in laws, family and their friends.


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