(Closed) Thoughts on destination wedding ettiquette

posted 4 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 2
Member
9436 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I think when you ask people to spend thousands to go to your wedding it would be nice to at least pay for dinner.  And yeah, I think going bare bones at a destination wedding is a little tacky and thoughtless of the effort your guests take to attend.

Post # 3
Member
986 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Ok so here’s my thing about destination weddings, especially one like you’re planning at an all-inclusive resort.  Your guests are basically bank-rolling your wedding.  You’re getting the free wedding package and they’re all spending probably over $1000 and vacation days to travel for you.  I’m not saying you need all the things you asked about but when I travel to a destination wedding I expect to be treated a little better than just getting the free package.  I also don’t usually give a gift when  going to destination weddings.  My attendance is my gift unless we’re super super close.

Post # 4
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
hikingbride :  Agreed.

 

If you’re having people shell out thousands to attend your wedding you need to AT LEAST pay for dinner. (preferably not at a communal buffet, that I assume is covered in the ‘all-inclusive’ rate all of your guests are already paying for themselves)

 

Post # 5
Member
7800 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think you should absolutely be paying for the dinner. It is pretty gross to ask people to attend your wedding AND pay for their own dinner & drinks (which they are doing by paying for the package). 

I mean, skip the favours and the centerpieces 100%, but at least give them a nicer dinner than the regular buffet that theyre paying for/will eat 14x during their week there. 

eta – speeches dont HAVE to be done over dinner, but I wouldnt expect people to stick around for long. So be prepared that people might miss them (and no, you cant hold them captive when you arent even hosting them)

Post # 6
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Paying for the dinner is the LEAST you could do after having your guests spend so much money to attend your wedding. 

Post # 7
Member
780 posts
Busy bee

I’d be offended at you not buying me dinner. Why wouldn’t you gracefully thank everyone with dinner on your dime?

Post # 8
Member
4835 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

View original reply
morgie20 :  I also had a Destination Wedding in Mexico.  It was at an all inclusive and was a roughly similar size.

I would STRONGLY suggest that you do a dinner for your guests.  They’ve traveled all the way to Mexico to see your wedding, it makes sense to have a meal where you can all be together.  The buffet is not the right environment for a group of 40 people.  It will be nosiy and everyone will be up and down getting food at different times.  It also makes sense to have speaches while people rae eating at their tables, rather than having to heard them into a seperate space to hear speaches.  It will be a much better atmosphere for your guests.

Centerpieces and decor – no one cares about that stuff.  Skip it if you’d like.  But spend a little money on having a meal to thank you guests for joining you. 

Post # 9
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I just had a destination wedding a month ago and attended to one 4 months ago. Yes your guests will be there to see and share your happiness but they also will be spending tons of money. You might think that the buffet and dinner are the same but I totally disagree. Dinner is the time where your guests enjoy their time, relax and get their energy. If you don’t want to spend money on centerpieces you don’t need to get them. When it comes to wedding favours, I am not a big fan of wedding favours but just because it was a destination wedding we gave favours to our guests. It doesn’t have to be something big. Since your wedding is in Jamaica you can give sample size aleo and/or sunscreen. Yes having your ceremony in front of a nice view will give you great pictures but weddings are more than that. When you have a destination wedding you really need to show your appreciation to all those people who travel just for you. Good luck with planing. 

Post # 10
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’d be pretty miffed if I flew to your destination wedding, saw the ceremony, and then was sent to the free buffet for dinner to eat with people in their bathing suits.  Not cool.  Pay the extra $$ to have a private dinner, even if it is the same food.  It’s the least you can do.  And you don’t need centerpieces.

Post # 12
Member
6672 posts
Bee Keeper

Wait, are you paying for the buffet for the guests? Or are you expecting them to pay for the dinner too? 

Post # 13
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

i wouldn’t really call that a wedding reception….. you’re ok with having a destination “wedding”, having friends and family fly down, but not really provide anything?

 

also, use your wedding favor money to put towards dinner for your guests. hardly anyone cares about favors.

Post # 14
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee

Typically no one wants anything with YOUR initials on it, IMO. Favors- maybe a dessert item, or local candies?

What are you putting in your welcome bags? That’s where I’d put stuff like aloe / sunscreen. 

Post # 15
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

View original reply
morgie20 :  We gave our wedding favour bags to the hotel and asked them to put it in our guests’ rooms. The hotel staff was very helpful. The bags were made by my mother’s friend. We put local candy, local rose body lotion, rose water, pashmina, nut mix from a local store and fig jam made by my grand mother. Each bag had a welcome letter. We gave 1bag per couple. I say stay away from monograms. Nobody is interested in your initials. If you really want to get something custom I say go with the date and location. 

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