- 4 years ago
- Wedding: December 2014
This is my first night / first post here on weddingbee, so please excuse the backstory. My boyfriend and I have been together since December/January of last year. We are planning on getting married at the courthouse (actually, self-solemnizing our marriage by Colorado law) on December 31. I am originally from a very traditional, religious family on the east coast, and am currently hanging out here in Colorado as I finish my master’s. Mister lives in WA state, and is originally from NE. I recently lost a high-paying job, and took a minimum wage thing to help out as I finish going through school (I’m done in May). My parents are helping with my rent/bills.
Recently my mother told me that they are not able to financially come to my graduation. I was hurt and crushed. My Boyfriend or Best Friend is in the military, and will probably deploy before I graduate. The elopement helps because then my family will not feel burdened to help pay for a wedding.
A couple of weeks ago, I had to schedule a surgery, and my Boyfriend or Best Friend voluneteered to come out and take care of me. We’ve been talking about marriage since we were dating for probably four months, but when he scheduled his trip to CO for my surgery, he brought it up again as an idea to get married while we’re together for the holidays. I think that’s a good idea. However, I have been engaged in the past, and my then-fiance left me about six weeks before our wedding. My mother was horribly mean to me when it fell through (“what is wrong with you?” “no guy will ever marry you because of this.”). Because of this history, I’m wary as to if I’m even getting married in December (I’m afraid he’ll bounce, too)… and I’m afraid to tell my mother in case Boyfriend or Best Friend leaves me, too. He is the most stable, solid relationship I’ve ever been in.., but I am just afraid.
I guess my questions are these:
– is it okay to wait until AFTER all the paperwork is signed to tell my parents? Do I ever have to tell them? Can we just pretend like we’re not married and go ahead with a big wedding?
— I think ONE of my biggest fears about telling my parents before I graduate that we went ahead and eloped is that they might cut me off financially.
– how to we notify friends and family that we got married? — I know normally an announcement goes out, but we DO want to have a vow renewal ceremony/reception at some point, but we want to be at least in the same state before we even come up with a date.
– have you eloped? are you planning on eloping? What did you wear?
Any feedback on elopement is very appreciated. Thanks!
(and, sorry for the rambling… there’s a lot on my mind. haha)