(Closed) Thoughts on female pastor?

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 31
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If your differences in accepting a female pastor bother you so much, why do you still want to marry there? Personally, I don’t think a female pastor is a big deal. However, if you are really against it, I would suggest just starting fresh at a different church. You could say that you just had conflict with that particular pastor and see if they could get you a different pastor at the same church, but I think it would be awkward. Colleagues talk, you know. 

As for her name, I think it would be entertaining for a pastor to have a pseudo celebrity name. Our pastor officiant has a lovely, heartwarming name, and we love her!

Post # 32
123 posts
Blushing bee

Isn’t it the Bible that women are not suppose to be behind the pulpit or women are suppose to be silent in churches? Yet, some argue that when Jesus was in the tomb with the two women He instructed them to, “Go tell.” 

Post # 33
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

julies1949:  I agree. If you’re against female pastors, find a different church. 

Though I’m Christian (and a bible-believing type) and I strongly support female pastors, so I think your reluctance is misplaced, anyway.

Post # 34
3552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My husband and I picked our officiant based on reviews. Every review of our officiant was that she was hands down fantastic. We both had the mental image of getting married by a man and it took us a while to wrap our minds around the fact that (as my husband puts it) we would be married by a tiny bird-like woman. Once we got used to the idea we were very comfortable with her and as her reviews said she did an absolutely fantastic job. She wrote us a beautiful ceremony and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

Don’t knock a female pastor until you meet her and give yourself some time to get used to the idea.

Post # 35
14492 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Having a pastor marry you is deeply personal to some. If she is more comfortable going thru the churches marriage process, which can, depending on the church, be an emotional ordeal and delve deep into your private dealings, with a man then there is nothing wrong with that. 

OP, I suggest calling the head pastors office and simply explain that you’d be more comfortable going thru the process with a man. They won’t have a problem with that. People change pastors all the time for all kinds of reasons, they are used to that. 

Post # 36
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My officiant is an Ordained Minister. Who happens to be like family to us. She also happens to be female. 

Could you explain to us why you want a male? If you could explain it to us in a way that makes sense (besides, “I don’t wanna”), maybe that reason will make sense enough to your church and you wont offend anyone? 

Post # 37
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We had a female minister.  She was absolutely awesome.  So many of our guests told us how much they loved our ceremony because they could feel how much joy and excitement she had for us getting married.  this kind of stuff always boggles my mind.  Being a female yourself I’m assuming you are all about being sexist and having specific roles designated for a particular sex in a specific role when both genders would be equally as qualified for the task. 

Wow. Amazing for 2014….

Post # 38
1983 posts
Buzzing bee

happybunny177:  I’m on your side here. I would simply ask. I don’t understand why they wouldn’t ask you first? Is this the church you regularly attend?

Post # 39
47189 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There is more information about some churches’ point of view re female pastors in this old thread.


Even though i would disagree with such a viewpoint, I can understand it.

The part that I have problems with is this:

If the OP wants a female pastor, I don’t understand why she doesn’t get married in her own church. Why approach a different church and then tell them you are uncomfortable with their beliefs and practices?

Post # 40
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I don’t understand this… I was married by a female pastor, and she was awesome! She was incredibly professional, and fulfilled her duties despite losses of close relatives. She could have quit, but she kept her word and came anyway. I can always sense the emotions of others, but no one else knew how she was feeling… 

This is the same type of nonsense many women face in the work place. Please explain to me what a male pastor can do that a female cannot?! You are not going on a date with the pastor, you are getting married by the pastor. This is so stupid on so many levels. I can’t bite my tounge on this. People who are so called Christian constanly judge others, and as a Christian it disgusts me. I cannot stand the hypocrisy, and this is why I have not joined a church in years. This type of foolishness is what I wish to avoid once I find one. 

Post # 41
11643 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’d have a problem with a man who would have a problem with a female doing same job as male pastor.

But this is your wedding. I think you need to find a church that shares your beliefs in the capabilities of women, because there isn’t a way to ask that is honest and honors their beliefs. 

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