(Closed) Thoughts on hand-delivering invitations?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it okay to hand-deliver invitations?
    Yes, it's perfectly fine : (21 votes)
    68 %
    No, this is poor form -- just mail them out : (8 votes)
    26 %
    Other, please explain : (2 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 2
    2639 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

    mrsconroy:  Actually, hand-delivering invitations is more formal and “proper” than mailing them. It used to be the way to deliver invitations. Do it! 😀

    Post # 3
    73 posts
    Worker bee

    I think hand delivering is a great way to give your invitations. In my culture people mainly hand deliver invitations to people who are local. So they will go to their guest’s house for tea to give invitations, or give them at a function where they will see the recipient or give the invitation through someone who is going to see the recipient etc. I think the traditional way to give invitations is to hand deliver them

    Post # 4
    3611 posts
    Sugar bee

    I might hand deliver some invitations for the simple reason that the ones I chose might not fit in my friends’ tiny NYC mailboxes, haha. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it at all.

    Post # 5
    13757 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’d rather receive the invitation in the mail.  Your guests don’t need 1.5 months to RSVP, so the extra time is unnecessary.   However, I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with hand-delivering them at the shower, but I do think it comes off weird (as if you didn’t want to shell out for the postage for them, because you obviously aren’t hand-delivering everyones).  

    Post # 6
    1112 posts
    Bumble bee

    mrsconroy:  3 months in advace of the wedding is the general timeline for Bridal Showers – so don’t feel bad about having yours this weekend. It’s right on time.

    I agree with gingerkitten:  hand-delivering invitations is actually the “proper” way to give invitations. So go for it! Just make sure you don’t forget anyone’s envelope! I would hate to be that one girl there who didn’t get an invitation, even if it was a mistake.

    Post # 7
    2076 posts
    Buzzing bee

    JiminyCricket:  Agree.  I think the whole “save on postage” is a silly reason.  How much are you actually saving?  A few bucks?  Just mail them all at the same time (6-8 weeks prior to your wedding).

    Post # 8
    484 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I’ve been hand-delivering Save-The-Date Cards to people as I see them. I’ll get around to actually sending out the bulk in a month or two.

    And yes, I am trying to save a few cents on postage. I also clip coupons. No shame.

    Post # 10
    2076 posts
    Buzzing bee

    pineapple54:  If having to hand deliver invites to save money is important, then you are budgeting poorly.

    Post # 11
    2967 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    nothing wrong with hand delivering, but it would have been more of a hassle for me. i preferred mailing all of mine- i dropped them all in the mail at the same time and was done. 

    Post # 12
    10 posts
    • Wedding: March 2017

    mrsconroy:  I personally think it’s fine. In fact, I think “etiquette” around invitations is really outdated and doesn’t match how people really communicate in the real world. I remember years ago a wedding planning friend told me how much each invitation cost per guest, and it occurred to me that you could take that person out to lunch and invite them face to face for the same price as sending a conventional wedding invitation suite. 

    Now that I’m engaged, I’m inviting friends and the younger generation of my family digitally. (Note: I am a SUPER non-traditional bride.) I’ll send conventional invitations to only a few older family members who don’t use computers. So, yeah, as far as I’m concerned, hand ’em out. What’s the worst that could happen, someone is peeved about some obscure point of etiquette? You’re still just as married in the end.

    Post # 13
    1305 posts
    Bumble bee


    Hand delivering at someone else’s shower? No, not polite.

    ETA: oops, misread. Your own shower? Totally fine.

    Post # 14
    6271 posts
    Bee Keeper

    As others bees have said hand delivery was once considered ‘correct’. If you want to get all debretts about it, if you’re giving them face to face then you just put their name on the envelope. If you’re dropping them through their letterbox or leaving them some where for them you put full postal address (care of if leaving them to be passed on), and ‘by hand’ in the corner where the stamp would go. I regale this to reassure you it it perfectly correct to deliver by hand. 


    Edited to add – oh…someone else’s shower? No, no, no. Above doesn’t apply. 

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by Profile Photo UK-bee.
    Post # 15
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida

    mrsconroy:  I wanted to hand deliver my invitations but i got some backlash when i hand delivered some STD’s to my close friends that i consider family. Someone actually said what are you trying to do Save $.50. my reply was no actually I wanted to personaly deliver it to you

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