Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2016 - Brooklake Country Club
Hi everyone! I tried searching for this question to see if anyone had encountered or thought about this, but didn’t see anything, so thought I’d ask you experts about the etiquette. This is an honest, well-intentioned question, so please no flames, just your thoughts and opinions : )
A little backstory: I am having my bridal shower this weekend (3/12) for my June wedding (6/24) — it’s a bit early because I have 6 weddings and the associated events to go to between now and August! I have also ordered and put together the invitations early because I am trying to get ahead of everything knowing I am going to be super busy the next few months : )
My etiquette question is whether or not it is okay to hand-deliver invitations to the guests at the bridal shower this weekend, all of whom will be invited to the wedding. I was just wondering because it would save on postage, allow them to have a lot of time between now and the RSVP date (5/1), it’ll save me one more errand to run/not having to go to the post office, and I’d love to see their reactions when they get the fancy gold envelope : )
However, if this is a major faux-pas, I am more than happy to do it the traditional way and mail them out. I did send out Save the Dates in November and the RSVP date is early because of many out of town guests, knowing we are going to have to track down a lot of people (history of deliquency lol), and our venue needing the head count.
What are your thoughts if this is okay? What would you think if you were in my situation or the one receiving the invitation in this fashion?
Thanks in advance bees!
Post # 2
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
mrsconroy: Actually, hand-delivering invitations is more formal and “proper” than mailing them. It used to be the way to deliver invitations. Do it! 😀
Post # 3
I think hand delivering is a great way to give your invitations. In my culture people mainly hand deliver invitations to people who are local. So they will go to their guest’s house for tea to give invitations, or give them at a function where they will see the recipient or give the invitation through someone who is going to see the recipient etc. I think the traditional way to give invitations is to hand deliver them
Post # 4
I might hand deliver some invitations for the simple reason that the ones I chose might not fit in my friends’ tiny NYC mailboxes, haha. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it at all.
Post # 5
I’d rather receive the invitation in the mail. Your guests don’t need 1.5 months to RSVP, so the extra time is unnecessary. However, I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with hand-delivering them at the shower, but I do think it comes off weird (as if you didn’t want to shell out for the postage for them, because you obviously aren’t hand-delivering everyones).
Post # 6
mrsconroy: 3 months in advace of the wedding is the general timeline for Bridal Showers – so don’t feel bad about having yours this weekend. It’s right on time.
I agree with gingerkitten: hand-delivering invitations is actually the “proper” way to give invitations. So go for it! Just make sure you don’t forget anyone’s envelope! I would hate to be that one girl there who didn’t get an invitation, even if it was a mistake.
Post # 7
JiminyCricket: Agree. I think the whole “save on postage” is a silly reason. How much are you actually saving? A few bucks? Just mail them all at the same time (6-8 weeks prior to your wedding).
Post # 8
I’ve been hand-delivering Save-The-Date Cards to people as I see them. I’ll get around to actually sending out the bulk in a month or two.
And yes, I am trying to save a few cents on postage. I also clip coupons. No shame.
Post # 9
freckles071611: Every penny counts.
mrsconroy: I think hand delivery is sweet, go for it!
Post # 10
pineapple54: If having to hand deliver invites to save money is important, then you are budgeting poorly.
Post # 11
nothing wrong with hand delivering, but it would have been more of a hassle for me. i preferred mailing all of mine- i dropped them all in the mail at the same time and was done.
Post # 12
mrsconroy: I personally think it’s fine. In fact, I think “etiquette” around invitations is really outdated and doesn’t match how people really communicate in the real world. I remember years ago a wedding planning friend told me how much each invitation cost per guest, and it occurred to me that you could take that person out to lunch and invite them face to face for the same price as sending a conventional wedding invitation suite.
Now that I’m engaged, I’m inviting friends and the younger generation of my family digitally. (Note: I am a SUPER non-traditional bride.) I’ll send conventional invitations to only a few older family members who don’t use computers. So, yeah, as far as I’m concerned, hand ’em out. What’s the worst that could happen, someone is peeved about some obscure point of etiquette? You’re still just as married in the end.
Post # 13
Hand delivering at someone else’s shower? No, not polite.
ETA: oops, misread. Your own shower? Totally fine.
Post # 14
As others bees have said hand delivery was once considered ‘correct’. If you want to get all debretts about it, if you’re giving them face to face then you just put their name on the envelope. If you’re dropping them through their letterbox or leaving them some where for them you put full postal address (care of if leaving them to be passed on), and ‘by hand’ in the corner where the stamp would go. I regale this to reassure you it it perfectly correct to deliver by hand.
Edited to add – oh…someone else’s shower? No, no, no. Above doesn’t apply.
Post # 15
- Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida
mrsconroy: I wanted to hand deliver my invitations but i got some backlash when i hand delivered some STD’s to my close friends that i consider family. Someone actually said what are you trying to do Save $.50. my reply was no actually I wanted to personaly deliver it to you