Thoughts on him calling you his Mrs when you’re still not engaged?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 16
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

we have called each other husband and wife for years before we decided to get married, we get married in Sept but he is still currently my husband

Post # 17
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am Australian, where i grew up in the country using the term ‘the Mrs’ is interchangeable with partner/ girlfriend/ wife/ other half. Perhaps it is the same for him? 

It was never meant to indicate that you were on the road to marriage per se, in my experience of its usage. 

Could be totally different in your case though.

Post # 18
559 posts
Busy bee

I hate guys who call their girlfriend or even their wife their MRS. Just say my wife or my girlfriend. 

Post # 19
7897 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Technically inaccurate. 

Post # 20
2417 posts
Buzzing bee

Absolutely Not.

But then again, I didn’t even “let” Fiance talk to me about wedding planning until we were officially engaged.

I didn’t want any of that picture-painting, story-weaving nonsense getting my hopes up before the fact.

I told him he could propose, and THEN we could talk about what we wanted for the wedding, and what our kids’ names would be, etc. 

Sometimes it’s innocent, but often times, it’s the same old story of the guy saying a lot of WORDS and not doing much ACTION, leading the girl on.

And the girl winds up staying way pay when she should because of the WORDS. 

Post # 21
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

My fiance says this and has from very early in our relationship. He says because he was intent that I would be his wife one day. It has never bothered me because it shows me his intentions. 

Post # 22
5803 posts
Bee Keeper

If both halves of the couple are okay with it, no probs. 

But for me personally- it bugged me when my Darling Husband called me his wife a few times when i wasn’t even a fiance yet, so I shut that shit down, as in ‘you don’t get to call me that when I’m not your wife’

HOWEVER, like I said, if both partners are okay with it, it’s fine- if you find it endearing or comfortable etc. 

BUT I have also seen instances here on weddingbee, where women take this as a ‘sign’ he’s getting ready to settle down- and then the double standard kicks in, as in he’s not ready, why is she rushing him yada yada yada. Because apparently only HE can make jokes/ comments about proposals, weddings etc- if she does it, it’s just too much pressure. 

Hopefully your dude belongs to the first category, not the second. 

And even now that I’m married, ‘wifey’ is still off the table, I find it rather icky. 

Post # 23
1737 posts
Bumble bee

We both do it pretty regularly with each other. We discussed it after some joking hubs and mrs comments. We both agreed we’re fine with it. To us it’s really not a big deal. We both know our time line and plan, that will be our official titles in a year.. It’s just heck of a lot simpler for both of us, if we say husband or wife. Boyfriend & Girlfriend really doesn’t describe our relationship or what we feel our level of commitment is to each other. We started around the 2 year mark using it. The people who know us know the deal, the people who don’t what does it matter?

Post # 24
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
Olivepepper :  Aussie here too and always heard gf’s called mrs. Its no big deal.

Post # 25
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Sorry bee, but I would personally take it as a slap in the face.

Post # 26
9147 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
soon2btnt :  

l’m from the north of England and ‘the missus’ is common. It’s not the same as Mrs and certainly not the same as being called a wife. 

And l have to take exception to a pp’s the idea that being a wife is a ‘promotion’ from being a gf or fi. No husband/fi is my boss, nor am l his employee. Even as a joke. 

Post # 27
1863 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think it’s kind of weird, but if you like it, you do you.  I think it is more reasonable in private than public though.

I will tell you I have had awkward moments with various people when they mention their “in-laws” or “husband”, and I say “oh my gosh, I didn’t know you guys got married!” They then tell me they aren’t married, and just call their boyfriend their “husband” or their boyfriend’s parents their “in-laws.”  It’s like okayyyy then…

I have heard men call girlfriends “wife” or “mrs” or “ball and chain” in a condescending way to say a guy is whipped or tied down.  Not a fan of that either, personally.

Post # 28
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Ugh I despise when men say “The Mrs.”, “Wifey”, “The Wife”, etc. Married, engaged, or not. I have a name. Call me by it.

Post # 29
1647 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

View original reply
whoisit :  another aussie bee here – I’ve been called “the missus” for years to other friends and family,  its a colloquial term here which means partner, regardless of status of relationship.  It’s an informal endearing thing though and would not really be appropriate in a formal setting e.g. if Fiance and i were at a wedding he wouldn’t introduce me to another guest as “the missus”

If it’s not a colloquial term where you are, I would find it a tad strange.  Fiance has never called me wife or anything else along those lines and even now two months away i would ask him not to.

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