Post # 1
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
Hello Bees,
I just started parenting classes and this topic came up. The instructor advised us not to do this and only remove yourself when you feel you may harm the baby. I’ve never struggled with this as I’m the type who at any cry is up and picking them up my twins Definitely tough with two but I have positions I sit and hold both at the same time if need be.
Yesterday this came up at home as I had a doctors appt. I have been having severe headaches and earaches. I couldn’t shower before heading off due to both babies cry and were completely inconsolable and my husband who was running late from work. I was at this point annoyed and feeling dirty lol! I vented about his lateness which I get his commute is over an hour in traffic and yesterday was terrible for him. He couldn’t believe I didn’t shower due to the babies crying. He thinks they will be fine if I have to shower and doesn’t think we should listen to the instructor on this one. I mean she’s the expert so she should know what’s best! He said he’s left them crying as he showers just makes sure they are fed and have a clean diaper. I never felt comfortable doing that and after these classes definitely won’t be. He told me to ask people because he just truly feels it’s no big deal. So bees do you think it’s okay to let babies cry it out as such an early age? My twins are 7wks old.
Post # 2
Member
6173 posts
Bee Keeper
Letting a baby cry for a few minutes while you take a sanity shower is different than the traditional “cry it out” where the babies cry it out until they are exhausted and stop. I agree with your dr that if you are feeling extremely overwhelmed, take a mental break! The babies will be fine left to cry for a few minutes. I would never leave them to cry for longer than 5-10 mins though.
Post # 3
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
My first baby I was totally against cry it out, my second baby I put mental health first. If your baby is safe and in the crib and you need break let them cry it out while you gather yourself. In your case though, I probably would’ve taken the babies in the shower with me. I’m sure it’s harder with twins but if they have baby bath seats I’m sure it would work. My babies loved cobathing.
Post # 4
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
I was advised one minute per month of age and used it pretty successfully (ie. at 6 months old, you wait 6 minutes, 12 months/12 minutes). Not so sure how well this would work with twins sleeping in the same room though.
Post # 5
Member
47431 posts
Honey Beekeeper
There is a huge difference between “letting a baby cry it out” where they are sobbing until they are so worked up they can’t settle, and “letting them fuss for a few minutes” while you take a shower.
As long as you ensure they are safe where they are, they will be fine and life will go on.
Post # 6
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
@bcaggee: I was advised this with toddlers/ kids in timeouts as well.
Post # 7
Member
7812 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I agree that a sanity break of a few minutes is different from letting an infant cry until they believe no one will respond to their needs every night. The former is sometimes a necessity; the latter is unacceptable (at least for me and my family).
Post # 8
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
I don’t let my babies cry it out. Which is why I went to my appt without taking a shower! Lol! Idk looking back now should I have taken the shower? Lol
Post # 9
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
I don’t know how long you shower for- personally I put my baby down for 5 minutes in a safe space and take that shower or pee or whatever so that then I better parent her when I come back. You can become incredibly quick at showering.
I wouldn’t go having a 20min shower or bath etc. Except cobathing but don’t know if that is possible with twins.
And as other posters have said make sure they’re fed and clean as a first priority.
Cry it out is a whole other concept and one I don’t believe in. You need to look up the difference.
Post # 10
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
@helpluv11: we don’t do CIO, but when I was home alone in those early days and need to use the bathroom I’d leave him in his bassinet for a minute to do my business and rush back out but I couldn’t do the same for a shower, peeing is essential while a shower can wait
BUT I strongly believe that if you’re at your wits end it will surely be better to put babies down fed and changed while we take a minute to ourselves, some babies are more difficult than others so it’s not for me to judge what another mom does as long as her kids are taken care of
Post # 11
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
@milaknot: Yes ma’am!!! what I NEEDED to do was pose it as two questions that was all sweetie so it’s not about “You need to look up the difference”
One being the dilemma I had with showering and another on crying it out as was discussed in my class. As I was also curious on people’s view on it.
I’ll just close this one and will repost it as two questions before I get another snappy response over this post.