(Closed) Thoughts on my winter maternity leave idea?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Seems like you’d want your husband around to help. Not to mention that would be depriving him of his baby’s first couple months. 

Post # 3
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

DZMeadowz:  also a northeastern mama with a winter babe on the way! Man would I love to escape to the tropics to get away.  I’m also nervous about being cooped up!  My friend decided to do this for a few weeks over her leave and said it saved her but husband went with her for the duration.  I don’t think this would be for me, as this is my first and want my husband around and present with baby as much as he can be.  Alternately, if you need to exercise, what about getting a treadmill or other work out equipment to keep in house, so you can still get those runs in?  I know a lot of people have told me that winter moms tend to go to the mall, indoor sportspexes or other big places where they can stroll with baby and get out of the house when it’s too cold outside (weirds me out a little with cold/flu season, but I guess there’s a downside to every plan..).  

Post # 4
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It seems a bit extreme, and incredibly expensive with all the flights and house rental cost… especially while you’re on maternity leave.  What did your husband say? 

Maybe buy some snowshoes? or hire a baby sitter to come for an hour or so every day so you can get out and be active?  You can also go walk at an indoor mall…

Post # 5
Member
7416 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Sounds really unfair on your husband, if you ask me. You’re not the only one who wants to spend time with and bond with the baby, and flying down on weekends isn’t the same as actually living in the house with the baby.  Perhaps a better idea would be to involve your husband in your daily plans so he can watch the baby while you go for that 5:30 AM run.  There is no reason you should be any more cooped up than you would be in any other winter.

Post # 6
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

I think it ultimately depends on what your husband agrees to. Yes, some dads want to spend all that time with their kids. Others? Not so much. My dad has always been around but maybe changed 2 diapers. He never attended school programs, knew when I lost a tooth, or was even sick. And all this was living in the same house! Some people want to witness everything, some are more of “let me know when they g to school”. Some people are different. For me personally, I’d enjoy the 3 months away (but then, Fiance works in another state and I only see him a week a month and it’s perfect. Any more and I’d go crazy. It’s why all my other relationships went downhill. Seeing them too much). 

On the other hand, what if your mom came to stay with you where you are and could watch the baby while you went out and got out of the house? 

Post # 7
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 1988

Like others have said… too expensive, impractical and unfair to your husband. Honestly, it sounds like you’re being a bit selfish in this scenario…it seems like you’re only thinking of your needs.

What about the upheaval to your first child’s routine? Where is he/she in your scenario… uprooted from his/her home and father? Adjusting to a new sibling (which is probably the biggest lifestyle change so far in his/her life) without the comforts of his/her routine will probably cause problems. Your first child needs stability in his/her life while dealing with getting used to the new baby.

What if there’s a medical emergency with your newborn or older child? Is it right to be so far away from their father when it’s basically a vacation for you?

You won’t be cooped up every minute of every day. You don’t live in the Arctic. I’m sure they’ll be plenty of good weather… it won’t be a below-zero blizzard every day. Bundle your children well and go out when you can. Stay in, when necessary. People in the Northeast have done it forever!

 

Post # 8
Member
2021 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Also agree that it sounds a little extreme

Post # 10
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

I have an oct baby on the way and am concerned about the New England winter as well – but what about going on a 1 week vacation as a family? I can’t imagine not having my husband with me those first few months. What about mommy and me yoga classes? getting a sitter so you can still get out to the gym or outside as well? I totally hear you, but I wouldn’t be able to do it without my spouse (nor would he be okay with it). 

Post # 11
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

DZMeadowz:  that was basically how I took it. One reason I didn’t think it was extreme. During the summers, my mom, sister and I would stay with my grandparents across the state (we live in Texas so like a day’s drive) and s all summer (from when school was out in May until right before school started in August). You’re visiting family so it’s not like you’re going to the tropics with no connection to the outside world. And as for consistancy with the older one? You’re already adding a new baby. A change in itself. So they’ll be ok. Maybe people just come from a different mindset about dads being all about babies in the early days. If I have any (still an if) Fiance will be lucky if he gets to look at the baby the first few months. For me it’s all or nothing. Either I handle the raising and deal or he can do it. But he’s not going to work out of state for 3 weeks and then come home and tell me I’m wrong lol. Not happening. 

Post # 14
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

DZMeadowz:  no problem! I aways seem to be against the grain to most people’s opinions 🙂 

Post # 15
Member
207 posts
Helper bee

Ah, I’m due December 31st! Congrats.

I’m from the midwest so I can totally understand where you’re coming from!

I think it would be nice to go to FL for a chunk of time to get away from the weather, but I would be nervous about taking care of a toddler and newborn without DH! It sounds like you would have help, but I still would want him around, not just on the weekends. 

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