Post # 1
So I am a waiting bee…and i know there have probably been 100000000000000000000000 posts….about this….but heres another one….
My older sister (3 years older)….is getting married in the spring for the second time, (my second time being her bm in 8 years….not that it matters just to show timelines)….her current Fiance is really nice and we like him alot….but her second wedding is turning out bigger than her first….and she really likes to ram it down peoples throats that she is getting married…( i understand everyone gets their time in the sun…..but i really dont think my life should stop because she is getting married again…)
well here is the deal…my SO and i are ready to take the next step…and are pretty seriously talking about getting engaged….we have been together for almost 6 years… and were planning on getting engaged this past summer but she got engaged ( i mean we are happy for her and all but she was divorced for a good 6 months before she was engaged again….and kinda made a big deal about it was “her moment” for awhile….i dont judge people based on length of their relationship….but heres the thing she did the same thing with her first wedding and proclaimed a year of her…and this time she is not nearly as obsessed but defenitly bridezilla-ish)….well now that has died down…and we have narrowed down a ring…picking a center diamond….and SO wants to get engaged soon…and asked how i would feel about getting engaged before her wedding in the spring….
well i do not know the etiqutte on this….i know she doesnt get a whole year, but he was thinking end of this year and maybe the very beginning of next year like with atleast 2 or 3 months before her wedding…(which she has threatened to call of twice since she got engaged last feb. over little things like not getting the church she wanted or my parents footing the entire bill)…
Would you be offended if your little sister got engaged around (like months around) your 2nd (or even first wedding)….we would not do it anytime super close to the wedding…she does deserve her moment….it would be latest like jan or feb and her wedding is the last weekend in march….
so ladies any suggestions? do we just go for it? or is that asking for trouble??
Post # 3
@kansas_nurse: Go for it! Like you said yourself, she does not get an entire week, month or year to celebrate. She gets one day to get married and there is no stealing thunder when it comes to getting engaged.
You know her best, so you will know if you can expect drama from it, so be prepared on how to handle it. But I do not think it should prevent you two from being engaged and on a path to marriage. Good luck!
Post # 4
So long as the engagement announcements have a little space (like a couple of weeks apart), and you don’t announce it at one of “her” times (her engagement party, her bridal shower and obviously not the week or 2 leading up to her wedding) there is no problem. It’s crazy to expect someone to put their life on hold for someone else’s engagement. A month or two before her wedding is fine.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I think a month or two is totally fine, and it’s really sweet of you to be concerned about it. I actually got engaged about 2 weeks before my sister’s wedding this summer. She was thrilled, the rest of our extended family who we saw at the wedding were all thrilled, but the wedding was obviously all about her with no limelight stolen by me.
Post # 6
I say get engaged over the holidays! Don’t worry about your sister. Live YOUR life!
Post # 7
Get engaged whenever, it sounds like your sister will still make sure she has her day regardless of when it happens.
Post # 8
You need to do what you have to do. I don’t see ANY problem with getting engaged before her wedding. I might be a little annoyed if my sister had her wedding 2-3 months before mine if they got engaged later, but certainly not if she got engaged. My sister and I are engaged at the same time, and it’s no big deal.
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
If she can’t just be happy for you instead of worrying about you stealing her thunder then she seriously needs to reassess her priorities.
Post # 10
Get engaged whenever you want! Life doesn’t stop for anyone’s wedding and there’s more than enough happiness to go around.
I would quit harping on the fact that it’s her second wedding though. Even if you don’t say anything outwardly negative about it, when you keep bringing it up and mention things like the short time between her divorce and engagement, it makes you look petty.
Post # 11
Get enaged when it makes you and your SO happy! If you time yourself according to other people’s needs/wants/wishes, you’ll never do anything.
Post # 12
Get engaged when you two feel ready. If you feel ready now, then go for it! My Fiance told his brother he was proposing on NYE months ahead of time and his bro decided 2 days before Christmas to propose to his girlfriend. My Fiance was ticked off briefly, but then got over it and still continued his plan to propose on NYE. Were we happy for them? Yes of course. Were they happy for us, of course! It’s an exciting time, and very much about family as well as the two of you. But don’t live your life to make her happy.
Post # 13
If your sister is honestly a bridezilla, then you and SO should get engaged at the reception. lol
Friends of ours eloped the same weekend we got engaged. I thought it awesome that love was just smacking people in their faces left and right! I made the “official” Facebook status change and the next day my friend announce his surprise marriage (they told everyone they were only going on vacation!) and I jokingly told him to stop stealing my thunder. Obviously joking, because since I was over the moon from my engagement, I thought it was cool that there was someone else who had the whole newness thing happening as well.
Oh wait! An acquaintance had her baby the day before we got engaged, so I guess I stole her thunder.
I also wouldn’t harp on this being your sister’s second wedding or length of time between divorce and engagement. My dad remarried six months after my parents’ divorce was final. He and my stepmom are celebrating 27 years this November, so obviously second time was the charm for him.
Post # 14
No! Your life does not need to be put on hold until she is married, if that’s the case then even getting engaged while they are considered newlyweds would upset her.
Live your life, if she is a good sister she will be happy for you.
Post # 15
Thanks everyone! I just wanted to make sure that i wasnt breaking some major ettiqute rule….hopefully ill have good updates on the situation soon!
Post # 16
I think it matters if it’s your sibling. Your parents are most likely going to be either giving you a really nice gift, or helping you in paying for the wedding. Most parents want to do that equally for all children. Overlapping engagements in the immediate family can cause tension for some parents.