(Closed) thoughts on pending engagement and sisters second wedding

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do you think it matters if someone gets engaged in the months around someone elses wedding?
    Yes-explain : (6 votes)
    9 %
    No-Explain : (60 votes)
    91 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4035 posts
    Honey bee

    @kansas_nurse:  Go for it! Like you said yourself, she does not get an entire week, month or year to celebrate. She gets one day to get married and there is no stealing thunder when it comes to getting engaged.

    You know her best, so you will know if you can expect drama from it, so be prepared on how to handle it. But I do not think it should prevent you two from being engaged and on a path to marriage. Good luck!

    Post # 4
    Member
    7739 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    So long as the engagement announcements have a little space (like a couple of weeks apart), and you don’t announce it at one of “her” times (her engagement party, her bridal shower and obviously not the week or 2 leading up to her wedding) there is no problem. It’s crazy to expect someone to put their life on hold for someone else’s engagement. A month or two before her wedding is fine.

    Post # 5
    Member
    9201 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    I think a month or two is totally fine, and it’s really sweet of you to be concerned about it.  I actually got engaged about 2 weeks before my sister’s wedding this summer.  She was thrilled, the rest of our extended family who we saw at the wedding were all thrilled, but the wedding was obviously all about her with no limelight stolen by me.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3303 posts
    Sugar bee

    I say get engaged over the holidays! Don’t worry about your sister. Live YOUR life!

    Post # 7
    Member
    5423 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Get engaged whenever, it sounds like your sister will still make sure she has her day regardless of when it happens.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2385 posts
    Buzzing bee

    You need to do what you have to do. I don’t see ANY problem with getting engaged before her wedding. I might be a little annoyed if my sister had her wedding 2-3 months before mine if they got engaged later, but certainly not if she got engaged. My sister and I are engaged at the same time, and it’s no big deal. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    2587 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

    If she can’t just be happy for you instead of worrying about you stealing her thunder then she seriously needs to reassess her priorities.

    Post # 10
    Member
    989 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Get engaged whenever you want!  Life doesn’t stop for anyone’s wedding and there’s more than enough happiness to go around.

    I would quit harping on the fact that it’s her second wedding though.  Even if you don’t say anything outwardly negative about it, when you keep bringing it up and mention things like the short time between her divorce and engagement, it makes you look petty.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1399 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Get enaged when it makes you and your SO happy! If you time yourself according to other people’s needs/wants/wishes, you’ll never do anything.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1274 posts
    Bumble bee

    Get engaged when you two feel ready. If you feel ready now, then go for it! My Fiance told his brother he was proposing on NYE months ahead of time and his bro decided 2 days before Christmas to propose to his girlfriend. My Fiance was ticked off briefly, but then got over it and still continued his plan to propose on NYE. Were we happy for them? Yes of course. Were they happy for us, of course! It’s an exciting time, and very much about family as well as the two of you. But don’t live your life to make her happy. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    473 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    If your sister is honestly a bridezilla, then you and SO should get engaged at the reception. Tongue Out lol

    Friends of ours eloped the same weekend we got engaged. I thought it awesome that love was just smacking people in their faces left and right! I made the “official” Facebook status change and the next day my friend announce his surprise marriage (they told everyone they were only going on vacation!) and I jokingly told him to stop stealing my thunder. Obviously joking, because since I was over the moon from my engagement, I thought it was cool that there was someone else who had the whole newness thing happening as well.

    Oh wait! An acquaintance had her baby the day before we got engaged, so I guess I stole her thunder. Smile

    I also wouldn’t harp on this being your sister’s second wedding or length of time between divorce and engagement. My dad remarried six months after my parents’ divorce was final. He and my stepmom are celebrating 27 years this November, so obviously second time was the charm for him.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    No! Your life does not need to be put on hold until she is married, if that’s the case then even getting engaged while they are considered newlyweds would upset her.

    Live your life, if she is a good sister she will be happy for you.

    Post # 16
    Member
    55 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I think it matters if it’s your sibling.  Your parents are most likely going to be either giving you a really nice gift, or helping you in paying for the wedding.  Most parents want to do that equally for all children.  Overlapping engagements in the immediate family can cause tension for some parents.

     

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