(Closed) Thoughts on post-wedding brunch?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
4035 posts
Honey bee

Nope. It’s not required to give one and it’s not required to attend. If most of the hotels are offering a free breakfast, she might be surprised at how few want to go to her house. 

I can think of a lot of things I’d rather do than get up early, the morning after a wedding. 

Post # 3
5151 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

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mrslovinglee:  In my opinion, there is nothing I’d rather do less than hang around and go to a brunch the day after a wedding (esp. if I traveled). Usually I am sleep deprived and hungover – I’d much rather just get in the car and drive home. I think it’s a waste of money and most likely, if people have traveled and it’s a Sunday, they’re going to want to get home as soon as possible to relax/nap/get ready for the week. 

Post # 5
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Agree with PP. It’s a considerate thought, and a lovely gesture, but there’s something to be said for letting the festivities end with the reception. 

Post # 6
9445 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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mrslovinglee:  it’s definitely not required although it can be nice. my Mother-In-Law planned a brunch for her family that was visiting from out of town, but it was at her house over an hour away from us and where all our out of town friends were staying. we told her that we planned to do brunch with the friends since we already got to spend extra time with the out of town family at the rehearsal dinner (which friends weren’t invited to unless they were in the bridal party). she wasn’t totally thrilled with it, but the rest of the family totally understood. 

Post # 7
766 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
mrslovinglee:  Definitely not necessary, and especially not for your local guests who can presumably see you whenever they want.  It was important to me to have one, because most of my friends and all of my family are traveling for the wedding, and I want to give them as many opportunities as possible to hang out if they choose.  So if there are people who are going to be from far away, you might want to consider finding a way to see them the next day.  But it is by no means rude not to have a brunch.  I’ve been invited to very few of them of the weddings I’ve attended.

Post # 8
1098 posts
Bumble bee

Not required or neccessary at all.

Post # 9
1054 posts
Bumble bee

i personally have never been invited to one but I have heard of it. I doubt I would go if I were. As a guest I would not want to go and as a bride I would not want to go. Haha. I think a ceremony and a reception is plenty of festivities for one weekend. 

Post # 10
2848 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I feel so much better after reading these responses.. I too am struggling with feeling like I am obligated to have an after wedding brunch for my out of town guests… I just cant afford it! And I don’t want to cut costs somewhere else in order to accomodate for a brunch. I’m glad to hear that people most likely wouldn’t even want to come! 

Post # 12
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

It’s definitely not necessary. 

If your Mother-In-Law hosts it, I would plan to stop by for an hour to be polite. The best ones I have been to were casual and low key and allowed people to grab a muffin, say hello, and then go. 

Post # 13
1149 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My mother insists it is necessary too, so I am having one even though I don’t really want it.  It will be from 9 to noon and it was be super casual.  I think older people expect it, especially if they are traveling (which will be true for my wedding).  If it just a couple hours in the morning, I don’t know if it’s worth putting up a fight?  I’ve been to many post-wedding brunches and it’s kind of nice to recap/debrief and say goodbye to everyone.

Post # 14
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida


mrslovinglee: I’ve never gone to an after wedding brunch as an Out of Town family / friend guest of the couple. We had brunch with family the morning after our wedding but it was in the Hotel we were staying at and only because half the family was leaving and the other half was staying a few more days. And it wasn’t even a planned thing until after the wedding when a few that were leaving in the morning said hey we should all grab a bite to eat before we jump on the airport shuttle and it was whoever wanted to join could. 

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