Post # 1
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
I am thinking of having a small cermony with just our parents and siblings but then I want to celebrate with our families and friends after. Just curious if any bee has done that before or what your thoughts would be on something like that!
We are thinking of a dinner somewhere with cake and champagne toasts. We would buy everyone’s meal and drinks.
Also wondering how I would go about wording that on an invitation.
Post # 2
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
FYI, you’re going to get a lot of backlash on this just because the reception is supposed to be a thank you for attending the ceremony. If you don’t invite them to the ceremony, etiquette speaking, then you don’t invite them to the reception.
Post # 3
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
acglandorf: I like to think of it as a way to celebrate the new bride and groom and thanks for being a part of our lives, etc… I would like to think our closest friends and family would understand that.
Post # 4
Member
1422 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle
Celebrate after, as in the same day? or a week/month/year after?
Post # 5
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
dracarys: Still deciding! Either same day or the following weekend. No longer than that! I want it to be fresh still
Post # 6
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
I attended a wedding that was set up like this–it was a blended family with several small kids and they wanted the ceremony to be personal and about their families becoming one. They actually also had dinner together privately, but then had a reception following that with drinks and appetizers and dancing. I thought it was perfectly lovely. I know that “etiquette” says certain things, but whatever. People important to you who want to celebrate with you will be there, and those who are offended can just deal with it. That’s my personal take, at least!
Post # 7
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
tessadub: If that’s what you want to do, I’m all for it. I’m just making you aware of what you’re going to hear.
The invitation should be for the reception. Something like
“Come join in the celebration of Mr. and Mrs. Tessadub after their union as man and wife
at This Restaurant
Half past time of day”
I’m sure there’s a better way to say it but if you’re going to have a really intimate wedding then everyone invited to the ceremony can be told by word of mouth or with a seperate invite.
Post # 8
Member
622 posts
Busy bee
We are having a private ceremony with just us, officiant, and photographer on an island in Mexico. A month later, we are having a “party” (essentially a reception, but you can’t call it that on Weddingbee! hah) to celebrate with family and friends. We recently got our invitations and they say “J&C were married in paradise on 2/16/16. Please join us to celebrate their marriage” then it has the date/time/location, and there’s a little something on the bottom that says “join us for dinner, drinks, and dancing!” so that our guests know what to expect. I went to a reception (I mean…party!) a few years ago that was pretty much the same (couple had gotten married privately in Fiji) and it was a blast. No sitting through ceremonies, shuffling back and forth to different venues, etc. Just show up, eat, drink, and dance your face off. I will be wearing my wedding dress, for what it’s worth.
Post # 9
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
Alpine1994: I LOVE this! GREAT idea!! This is exactly what we are thinking of doing. I love that wording too. Okay, I will start calling it a “celebration of marriage” 😀 !
Post # 10
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
We did this, and it was perfect!
We had a reception/open house/party the weekend after the ceremony. Our invitations said “We’re tying the knot! Please join us for a family reception celebrating M & A’s new life together.” Or something like that. Then on the back they said “M & A will be married in a small ceremony on January 6. Please join us the following weekend for dinner and drinks at the beach.” So it was very clear that this was just a post-wedding open house deal.
Post # 11
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
tessadub: I think that it’s a great idea. To me, it’s not a big deal at all. I’ve been to a few wedding celebrations where they got married at the courthouse and then had a reception/ dinner afterwards.
At the same time, in making your decision, find out how important other peoples’ opinions are to you. And if it would affect you. Would your or his parents’ disapproval have an impact on your planning? If the people that matter have your full support, then it’s of course less of a headache. But at the end of the day, do what you want to be happy.
My friends had a small intimate ceremony. Then she had a BBQ inviting almost 150 people. It was great. Below is a sample of the invite she used, except she reworded it to say, surprise we eloped! Come celebrate with us…etc.
Post # 12
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee
Since the ceremony would be only for immediate family, I don’t see a problem with this. I get bent out of shape when it’s a huge ceremony for “A” listers and everyone else is left out.
I’d word the invitation something like “Please join us for a reception to honor the marriage of so and so”
Post # 13
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
AORiver15: I like to hear stuff like that. I know there’s a lot of opinions on doing it this way and that is why I started a thread about it because I want to hear them all! But I would also like to think our loved ones will be there to celebrate with us however we choose to do it.
Fiance and I have also been very open about wanting a private ceremony from the beginning of our engagement. We always said we don’t want anything big! The vows and stuff we can do alone and I would like our friends and family there for the party part. It wouldn’t even be that big of a party- we have a list of about 60 right now.
Post # 14
Member
434 posts
Helper bee
I’m not sure why you would do that. We went to wedding like that and it was weird. We are supose to see the wedding. Not just have a party. It’s up to you. If you have a small ceromony away. Then I can understand when you come back to maybe have a party. Thats just eloping. Which is fine too. But the wedding we went to the had the cerimony right before the reception. No one got to see it and it was weird.
Post # 15
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
njbride1102: I love this! Thanks for the input. Thankfully BOTH my parents and his parents are super supportive of us choosing to do it this way.