(Closed) Thought's on promise rings esp in this sitution.

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
2872 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Me personally, I’d rather have the real ring. I’ve never been fond of promise rings. They just remind me of high school times far too much. I’d rather my man save up for a ring ring. It wouldn’t have to be fancy either. 

Just my two.

Post # 3
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee

smartsimple:  I think it would feel like a blow. A nice RHR, sure, but if I was expecting a proposal I would not be a gracious promise ring recipient.

Post # 4
Member
1165 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I would rather have the engagement ring in this situation, especially if I thought I was going to be proposed to. I have nothing against promise rings, I atually have one but in this scenario, I would certainly want the real ring and real proposal! 

Post # 5
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee

I’d rather my partner propose to me when he felt ready, not because he felt pressured to, and that he were responsible enough to save money and use it wisely.

So yeah, I’d stave off the engagement, and I’d skip the promise ring.

Post # 6
Member
1300 posts
Bumble bee

I would not be happy about receiving a promise ring. For me it’s engagement ring or bust. There are a lot of people who would be perfectly happy with one and that’s ok too but it sounds like the girlfriend is going to be heavily expecting an engagement ring so a promise ring will most likely not go over well.

Post # 7
Member
2923 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I agree.  Skip the promise ring and have him save for the engagement ring.

I also think a 30 year old should not be giving a promise ring, no matter how old his girlfriend is.

Post # 8
Member
6603 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

I think a) he’s too old for a promise ring b) he needs to work on money management before I personally would agree to marry him anyway and c) getting engaged/giving a promise ring because the family is badgering him is a terrible idea anyway.  As another said, I would not take it kindly if I was expecting an engagement and got that whole mess instead.  All three combined would be a huge sign to me that this man isn’t ready to be an adult, much less a husband.  Obviously that’s her decision though!

Post # 9
Member
6806 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

I agree with other PPs. I see a promise ring as something you do in high school. Anytime after that (especially if the guy is 30!) is kind of like a slap in the face. Especially considering it seems obvious that he told her an engagement was going to happen soon. 

What I don’t understand is, HE’S the one that told his mom he was going to propose in a year. He didn’t think that whole time that he should start saving some money? 

Post # 10
Member
1709 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Garden

What in he world….

This is freaky because this happened to me the exact same way!!! My Fiance is 30 and I’m 24. And we’ve been dating for two years!!!

he told my mom in july that he was going to propose to me in nov2015. she told me literally five mins after he told her. She can’t keep secrets haha. So for 4 months I was freaking out thinking how he was going to propose. But he finally proposed around thanksgiving last month. And about the sept 2015 thing my FIs best friend got married….

The only difference is the ring I got wasn’t a promise ring. 

So freaky…..do I know you???? Just asking….

Psh…there’s no way this is related to me…. But my gosh I was literally freaking out like my heart was jumping because this situation is just like mine. So freaking crazy

Post # 11
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I would be heated for sure!

Post # 12
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think that if he can’t sit down with his Girlfriend and talk about the fact that he simply can’t afford to get her an engagement ring right now, that he does plan to propose at some point, and that the pressure she and her mom are putting on him is too much…then he doesn’t need to be with her at all.

To answer your question, I’ve personally never been a fan of promise rings, and I’d think that if this girl is expecting an engagement ring, then she’s going to be horribly dissappointed.  He needs to have a discussion about this with her so that she doesn’t have her hopes up at Christmas.  

Post # 13
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

IF I knew propose is on the way, giving me a promised ring will hurt my feeling….and I won’t take it. 

It’s like telling me I was goign to propose to you but I can’t afford the ring…so here you go, take this one for the time being until I’m *ready*……. 

 

Post # 14
Member
1479 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Personally, I wouldn’t worry about what anyone else does in their relationship. 

Post # 15
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

IF he really wants to propose buy can’t afford an expensive ring, he needs to have a talk with his Girlfriend and let her know that she can have either an engagement now or the ring she wants, but she’ll have to wait. They could get engaged now with a less expensive gemstone or diamond simulant ring if he has the money for a promise ring.

I was “waiting” at Christmas last year. If my now Fiance would have given me a promise ring I would have been really upset. You get that little box!! And it’s a ring!!! But oops, he’s not proposing, it’s just a promise ring. Whomp whomp.

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