Post # 1
I saw a post a while back about this, but now its become a more immediate question in my mind… if you know what the Chive is, how would you feel if your boyfriend frequented it?
My SO looks through it multiple times a day, and while i dont mind the funny things or the charity aspect of it, the sl*tty girl pictures really, really bother me. before I met SO, I thought all guys who frequented the Chive were pretty pathetic tools (harsh, I know, but it’s what I thought). We are also both Christian, and he knows and agrees with my stance on porn (which, at best, the Chive has turned into a soft core porn site).
I don’t even know how to describe the feeling I have… and its not like he just looks at it once in a while- he’s on it multiple times a day, a large majority of his tshirts are from them, and he has a bunch of other “chive” paraphenalia, etc.
It has bothered me since the beginning, and SO knows that, but he insists that I “just don’t understand what it is.” Essentially he says that it’s not ALL naked girl pictures, and I’ve tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but EVERY time I’ve gone to the site, that’s a majority of the content. I just feel disrespected (that he seems to NEED this website, even though it hurts me). Now that we’re serious (expecting a proposal any day), it bothers me much, much more than it did at the beginning, and I want to say something…. But how do you bring that up without putting him on the defensive? I don’t want to be the crazy, b*tch girlfriend/fiancé, but it’s gotten to the point where it honestly eats me alive some times… I get sick about it!
Any constructive advice?
Post # 2
I go on the chive pretty regularly to look at the funny stuff. My husband goes on it every once in awhile, and honestly it wouldn’t bother me if he looked at the pictures of the girls, they aren’t naked, and honestly even if they were it wouldn’t bother me much. I don’t really care about porn and that stuff, now if he was looking at real, live naked girls, then maybe I’d have a problem, but they’re just pics of strangers, and i thought they were all clotheD? Though I could be wrong, I’ve only seen the first pages (the page with the title on the app, which you can’t miss).
Post # 3
_blackbird_: yeah, and I totally get that it doesn’t bother some people, and if that works for you, that’s great; I can try to be the “cool girlfriend” all I want, but my reaction is just a visceral, gut response. So I guess my question is more directed to people who would mind their SO looking at other women…
Post # 4
vericari: If it bothers you that much, you need to 1) sit down and have a talk with him about how much it bothers you, and 2) if he continues to go to it, you get to decide if this is a deal breaker for you. Unfortunately, you can’t make anyone do anything or stop doing something.
Post # 5
My husband used to look at the CHIVE and i didn’t care until I saw he was ONLY looking at the women. so I shut that down pretty fast.
Post # 6
You will find that most people on this website do not mind their SO’s occaisional porn habit, myself included, however that is how I feel in MY relationship and has nothing to do with you.
i believe if you are honestly morally bothered by your SO looking at porn and he chooses to continue to do so anyway then he is being disrespectful, after all no one NEEDS to look at porn. if it bothers you and he still does it you will have to decide for yourself if this is a deal breaker in your relationship.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman
I’m not a fan of it, I would rather my SO looked at porn tbh.
Post # 8
What’s a “cool girlfriend”? Either something bothers you or it just doesn’t. I don’t want tell my Fiance what he can look at on the internet. I’m not his teacher. Or his mom. I wouldn’t want him to dictate my internet usage. Or *gasp* tell me I’m on the Bee too much and seems like I NEED it, when it’s just something I enjoy.
Maybe you should consider why this bothers you so much. Have you talked to your Fiance about it? Like why it bothers you and the extent that it does?
Post # 9
daisybee90: I just asked my Fiance about it (I’m not real familiar with the site). Apparently there is a version for women now http://theberry.com/
Post # 10
Fiance used to look at it NBD in my mind he is engaged not dead lol. I would be more pissed if he was gaucking at our hot neighbor than looking at some random internet chicks letting the bottom of their breasts hang out.
Post # 11
sway0060: maybe im naive, but I don’t understand the difference…. How are the girls posting pictures not “real” girls? What if random hot neighbor posted those pictures and he was looking at them? The girl who posted them is SOMEONES hot neighbor… So why does it matter if it’s live, in the flesh, or a snapshot of it? Would you be okay with him webcamming these girls?
Again, I don’t want to sound like the psycho girlfriend, but it just seems hypocritical…. I guess a better question would be – how would you deal with it if you WERENT okay with it?
Post # 12
I mean on the bright side at least it’s not the gone wild board on Reddit lol
Post # 13
OMG–I’m so out of it I honestly have never heard of it…and frm the sounds of it I’m not missing much.
Post # 14
I must be really old and out of the loop, because I read the title and was all like, ‘yeah I really hate it when they put them on my baked potato’.
Post # 15
vericari: I go on it regulary. I wouldnt say the majority is naked women – I look at the funny pictures and just skip over the naked ladies. My husband used to go on it when it first came out and it never bothered me.
I think if it DOES bother you, then you need to tell him. Theres really no way to make yourself feel better and get over it. Its just going to build up to the point where it makes you upset.