(Closed) Thoughts on this situation:

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yeah that woman needs to be put in her place. It’s your husband’s responsibility to stand up to her. Uninvited guests should NOT just show up at a rehersal dinner.

Of course I’d be pissed in that situation and probably would have taken her to the ladies room and given her a piece of my mind right there.

Post # 5
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

What part of what does she think was rude?  The not inviting the kids to the wedding?  Or making the uninvited guests stand around during the RD?

It sounds like you have a lot more issues with your Mother-In-Law than just wedding fallout.

Post # 6
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Wow!! There is some serious audacity there! I can’t believe they showed up without confirming with you beforehand that it was okay. And if they did get an okay from your Mother-In-Law, then SHE should have let you know they were coming, especially if she just expected you to pay for them. 10 univited guests is A LOT! It doesn’t sound like you guys were rude to them at all, however. What IS rude is your Mother-In-Law showing up way late and just expecting you to pay for guests that you didn’t even invite AND who declined to come to your wedding! How odd….

Sorry you had to deal with this!

Post # 8
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would be very upset with your in-laws and I would tell your hubby that he needs to do something about it. It stinks that it made a mess of your big day but it could make a mess if a lot more if he does not get them in their place.

I must say that I am impressed that you controlled yourself that night – that shows  a lot of character. I don’t know that I would have been able to keep my cool.


Post # 9
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@ams12: I think it’s interesting that she says you were rude in a situation she wasn’t even at.

Isn’t that a he-said/she-said type argument – where no one wins?  That’s why I thought it was really about something else….

What does your Darling Husband think about all this?

Post # 11
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Some people need to just go into hiding never to be seen again.

Post # 12
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Okay, here’s what I think. Please don’t be mad at me.

SO: YES, your inlaws were completely out of line. Your Mother-In-Law is completely out line. Did they commit a major faux pas? Yes, absolutely. Am I on your side, yes, I am. Your Mother-In-Law is totally wrong to be mad–in fact, she should be apologizing.

Having said that, NO, you were not rude. Absolutely not. But you asked an etiquette question, so here’s the answer on that: etiquette is all about how you make someone else feel. It’s your code of conduct that’s not contigent upon how others behave. So even though she is wrong, wrong, wrong, and they were wrong, wrong, wrong, at the end of the day, your in-laws shouldn’t have been made to feel awkward. Now, let me be clear: I believe that you dealt with it gracefully, so I’d be curious to know why specifically she/they felt they were treated rudely.

The topic ‘Thoughts on this situation:’ is closed to new replies.

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