(Closed) Thoughts on waiting …

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

It seems that a lot of women who have preconceived ideas of how a proposal should be are disappointed when things don’t go exactly as they’d imagined it.  So steering yourself away from said preconceived notions is probably a good idea — you won’t set yourself up to be disappointed by what should definitely be an awesome moment!

Post # 5
Member
901 posts
Busy bee

I can see how the waiting could take away from the happiness of the proposal. Especially if you’re not altogether sure if your SO is on the same page as you are or if you know for sure he’s not.

I have to say, I am a lot more content now that I know my SO has ordered the ring and a proposal is right around the corner. And this is coming from someone who has a SO who is 100% on the same page as I am. I just like things to be decided and I’m a planner. I’m also very impatient.

I think it’s natural to be apprehensive so matter what the circumstances. I really think a lot of these feelings will go away once you’re engaged and everything is set.

Post # 6
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

I can totally relate. 6 months ago just thinking about him proposing made me giddy and glowing and now that I have been waiting for a while and I know he has the ring but is supposedly just has a date and a big plan I am feeling like I have burned out on being excited. I just want him to do it and get it over with so we can start our lives together. I am really not sure that this big surprise he has been planning can take away how hard this waiting has been on me. And recently he is acting like it isn’t even about a certain date so he has made me wait so long just for the sake of making me wait, not because his plan is contingent on the date.Grrr…lol

Post # 8
Member
218 posts
Helper bee

@impatientlywaiting20:  I hope you are right! I have heard others say that the resentment fades pretty quickly once the waiting is over… i sometimes wonder if it will, i am pretty aggrevated at this point and the situation has caused me a lot of stress. I think he was wrong to keep me waiting this long and force the situation into one where i needed to be pushy to protect myself, and biological clock. it didn’t ever need to be this way. obviously i still love him enough to stay and want the marriage. even if it was a rocky start, i know we will be happy in the end.

but this has not been easy.

Post # 10
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

@MariaW:  haha engagement is my sasquatch too! Even though he has the ring 🙂 I agree, it completely with the resentment, ambivalence and disbelief sentiments. I am so afraid that when he does propose I am going to be totally blase instead of super excited. Sucks but I know he is who I want and once we are married hopefully this will all just be a funny story between us, like “remember how hard waiting was-seems so silly looking back” Just hope he gets a move on soon!

Post # 11
Member
218 posts
Helper bee

@MariaW:  that is a great metaphor. i love it. i feel the same way.

@impatientlywaiting20:  there is a part of me that thinks i wont be excited… but at this point, having crossed into my late thirties, there is a “whatever” factor. dont have any more time to waste, tired of being single, and need to have babies very soon. so… excitement may not be in the cards. and i really dont care as much as i thought i would.

 

just give me the ring!!!!!!

Post # 13
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Maria – your posts make me sadder and sadder.  I’m gonna type out a passage from “He’s Just Not That Into You.”  Please, please think about it.

I’m not ready.  This is the most often used excuse in the world, but it always seems to do the trick.  Women love waiting around for men to be ready.  You women must enjoy it, because you do it so much of the time.  Which is ironic to me, since you’re the ones with the biological clocks that are supposedly ticking away.  Listen, we all know that couple who’s been dating for 5 years . . . 8 years and still hasn’t gotten married.  We know it never works out well for that couple.  So how about you stop waiting – and start looking for that guy who can’t wait to love you.  

If this guy loved you, he would want to make you happy, which in your case means marrying you.  Love cures commitment-phobia. 

Post # 15
Member
1404 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@MariaW:  Sorry I can’t remember if you’ve mentioned this previously or not, but have you had the talk with your SO and are you both on the same page re a timeline or plans for a future engagement? If no, then that’s a good place to start.

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