Thoughts on who is in the wrong on this situation…

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 31
6444 posts
Bee Keeper

lula0508 :  Your Darling Husband is in the wrong.  His friend locked your dogs in the basement for a week and yo you paid him for it!  You owe him nothing.  If anything he owes you for such shitty treatment of your animal!

Post # 32
6606 posts
Bee Keeper

Nope, your H can stay at their house and watch the dog. If he doesn’t bother to ask you before agreeing, he needs to take responsibility for that himself.

Post # 33
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

lula0508 :  you are not unreasonable – I’d kill my husband. Refuse the dog, simple as that. You call the friend yourself and say “sorry, but Darling Husband won’t be home that day and I’m not available to watch the dog”. You don’t owe the guy anything if you PAID him to watch your dog while on your honeymoon. 

Post # 34
728 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t do it. I would tell your Darling Husband that either he cancels the trip or you’ll call his friend and tell him your husband has a trip and your mother’s coming in to town so you can’t watch him. It doesn’t matter if he watched your dog that doesn’t mean you have to rearrange your life to watch his dog.

Post # 35
1254 posts
Bumble bee

lula0508 :  

Seems like a communication issue on both you’re parts.

Dh was wrong for not discussing it with you, but you are acting as if having a dog with you for one weekend is like severing your right hand off.

Let’s be honest, it’s not that big of a deal. Yes, he should have asked you. But to argue about who’s more wrong is immature and completly stupid/pointless. You are watching a dog for 2 days, not cutting you’re left hand off.

ETA: Yes, he was wrong for locking you’re dogs in the basement but you’re husband was aware of this when he agreed to take care of his dog. Not to mention it’s not THEIR fault you’re husband made a commitment without asking you first. Now it would be silly to call him back after I am assuming they’ve made their arrangements based off you’re husband’s agreement and tell them you guys can no longer assist.

Post # 36
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Just take all the dogs in for a doggy day care thing the day of the fishing trip and let them get all the piss and vinegar out there. 

Post # 38
12128 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I’d be livid. Not only was H inconsiderate in not asking you ahead of time or considering what else was going on that weekend, he’s being totally disrespectful to you now.

Complaining about you to his friends behind your back would absolutely cross the line for me, although I’m guessing he told them a much different version of the story. He probably said a friend watched my dogs for a week and now OP doesn’t want to return the favor. 

The way this so called friend treated your dogs is disgusting. I would never want a thing to do with him again, much less watch his dog as a favor. 

So yes, I would choose this hill to die on or forever let him think he can treat you this way. 

Post # 39
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

lula0508 :  He admits he is wrong and that he should have consulted with you, but is also badmouthing you to his friends who all think you’re “wrong, and being terrible and unreasonable” (your words)?? Something here isn’t adding up bee.

Post # 41
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

lula0508 :  Uh, did he leave out the part when gossipping about you to his buddies that this friend was paid to watch your dogs and shut them in the basement the whole time because his girlfriend (who he now owns a dog with) is “allergic” to dogs?? 

This whole thing is a clusterfuck. You’re well within your rights to refuse to do it, regardless of what his friends think. If you do agree to do it, I would make it very clear to your husband that this is the last time you’ll be doing a favor for this person because of all the billions of reasons you’ve listed in your previous posts.

Post # 42
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Is his friend paying you to watch the dog? Since you paid him (to lock yours in a basement) that would only be a fair return of the favor. Your Darling Husband is being an ass and you should make yourself scarce  Saturday. He’s calling your bluff, so show him you mean what you say and stop allowing him to steam roll you or he’ll keep doing it.

Post # 43
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

I mean.. why *can’t* you go out on Saturday?  He’s an adult.. he can take care of 3 dogs.. how would it be hurting the dogs?  

As for the original question.. yeah he’s being a dick.  I have no patience for that kind of BS arguing style where facts can be made up and/or destroyed on the fly, other people’s opinions are requested and suddenly matter (and of course their opinions are based on twisted stories anyway), and someone in the wrong can be like “fuck it, it’s your problem anyway because I said so” and go out fishing and let you clean up their mess.  

Except for blood relatives, I cut people who do that out.  I just avoid the blood relatives.  Not saying you should–obviously everyone has different pet peeves and I assume since you married this guy this isn’t one of yours. just saying that this is, without a doubt, shitty behavior–bad enough that some people wouldn’t stand for it at all.

Post # 45
1505 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

lula0508 :  My blood is boiling for you!  I would call that friend and say my husband didn’t check with me, I will actually be out of town and he has the fishing trip and can’t take care of the dog himself.  Then I’d take my mom and two dogs on a last-minute weekend trip–Gonna win that game of chicken. 

Dramatic and extreme?  Yes.  And I certainly would never do it if my husband had been like “Sorry babe, I know I should’ve checked with you, and going forward I will.”  Then I would’ve sucked it up this weekend and watched the dog.  But if he’s going to accuse ME of being unreasonable and also air our dirty laundry to other people just to get more people to side with him?  No.

It’s not about proving I’m right.  I have no intention of getting into a long drawn-out argument or doing any yelling.  I’d just calmly carry out my plans à la the above.  It’s about people having to experience the natural consequences of their actions before there’s any chance going forward of them going against their natural selfish inclinations and doing the right thing instead.

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