Thoughts on who is in the wrong on this situation…

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 46
Member
7915 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

lula0508 :  honestly, I think if you do it anyway your husband will still hire the guy and you’ll have all these problems. Why can’t you call the guy yourself and tell him you can’t do it and Darling Husband was wrong to speak for you? This guy sounds like a total loser and your husband is being manipulative (and an apology, while nice, doesn’t change that fact). 

Post # 47
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

Yeah I would be pissed.
If he agreed to watch it, then he should. He shouldn’t just shove the repsonsibility onto you. For all we know, you had plans to relax or go out and do something, and now you can’t because you’re stuck watching a stranger’s dog – someone who you piad to watch yours, but locked them in a basement, which would not be cool with me at all either. I wouldn’t want to interact with that person again. Not only is it cruel to do that to animal, it speaks volumes about that person’s shitty character.

Did your husband not care that someone locked his dogs in a basement all day long? If someone did that to our dog, my bf would be absolutely furious and never trust that person again.

Post # 48
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It’s way too late to cancel now – he should have phoned back on Sunday to say no. I think you need to suck it up and do it.

My husband did something similar when I was pregnant and signed us up to looking after two big, young dogs who woke early and barked and did not have good recall but pulled on the lead. He was working nights all weekend so I was left to deal with 4 dogs (ours too), a toddler and being pregnant. I was not impressed and he won’t offer/say yes again unless he’s free. However he was apologetic for not asking me and he won’t do it again. Slight difference is I really like the owners and they are good to us so I wouldn’t let them down.

Post # 49
Member
3381 posts
Sugar bee

Well, of course he admits he is wrong, because he is still planning to go away for the day and let you deal with the dog. It’s easy to say “I’m wrong, but you deal with the problem, see ya!” I’d be super annoyed about this. 

Post # 51
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

lula0508 :  When you pay someone to do something, it’s not a favor.  He did not do you a favor by watching your dogs, it was a job, that he did poorly.  You don’t owe him anything.

People do not get to volunteer me to do a favor OR a job without consulting me.  So I’d call the friend and just say this:

“Hey – I understand that John said we could watch your dog this weekend, but he’s actually going to be out of town and I’m not available.  He should have consulted me before agreeing, because we’re not going to be able to do it.”

Drop the mic.  Walk away.

Post # 52
Member
14949 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yes, he was wrong not to check with you first on agreeing to watch someones dog ESP if he’s not even going to be the one home watching it!!!  I’d be LIVID!  There is no way someones dog would coome to stay with us unless we discussed it with each other first.  And no I would not feel the need to “repay the favor” if he was PAID for watching your dogs.  It’s not a favor when you’re being paid. 

Post # 53
Member
44 posts
Newbee

You’ve already made up your mind to deal with it the best you can this weekend (which is more than I would do), but I still suggest that you ask your husband for the guy’s number since you don’t have it. Then call him yourself and tell him you can’t do it. This dog is the owner’s responsibility.

If it makes your husband look bad? That’s the consequence of his actions.

If your husband won’t give you the number because he’s stubborn? Then there are bigger problems than the acquaintance and his dog.

Post # 54
Member
11643 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Sometimes I can’t believe the crap people will tell a poster to put up with. 

This gets a hard no from me, and the reasons have been well articulated by PP. 

no one signs me up for a job without asking me, dumps their “favor” return (also, you paid this guy and he locked your babies in the basement, favor?!?) on me while they are going on a fun trip, and if I were pregnant they would be sorry they even whispered the notion to me.

your husband’s apology is meaningless, because he hasn’t changed anything. He took you for granted, treated you like an employee, and is continuing to think that’s okay. 

I would not be watching this guy’s dog, esp given fact that you haven’t even met it yet and you ALREADY have plans. You know, like he does. 

 

Post # 55
Member
717 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

If I were you I’d focus on working out the issue with a compromise between the two of you, not focus on who’s right or wrong in this situation because that will only lead the relationship to deteriorate further. Was he probably wrong? Yes. Will he admit it? No, probably not and fighting about who’s right won’t resolve anything. 

Post # 56
Member
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I would also be upset about being stuck with the dogsitting when he didn’t consult you first. He better be doing extra chores or something to make up for it. 

Post # 57
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee

Can I ask what makes this friend so special?  

Sorry, I read your entire first post but I’m kind of stuck on

A) How come your husband doesn’t have any anger towards this friend for locking up your dogs?  I mean I have cats but I’d be livid if somebody neglected them

B) Even if your husband isn’t mad, why does he still feel like he owes him?

C) Why is your husband so embarrassed to call this friend back?  Jeez, you’re pregnant FFS and you have a lot going on- it would be totally reasonable to have to call back and say “sorry, I committed too soon”.

 

If I were you, I would be annoyed that my husband cares more about idk, impressing or not disappointing some friend than his own wife.  

Post # 58
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee

BalletParker :  ^^^ +1

It’s not an apology if nothing changes.

It’s a fishing trip, not a business trip.  He could cancel but won’t.  

“Sorry” would mean not going away for the weekend.

Saying sorry and still going away really only means he’s sick of arguing.

Post # 59
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

It’s easy to apologize, if it means the subject is dropped and Darling Husband can go on his trip. The apology is meaningless if he doesn’t make up for it. I’d call the guy and say there’s been a mistake, and you’re not available and Darling Husband is away. You can also just tell him DH will do it instead, since obviously he has no problem with people being volunteered w/o consent. I bet that’ll go over well. 

Post # 60
Member
6447 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I have to agree that I would refuse to lay down and be a doormat in this situation. YOU have plans and are unable to watch the dog, just like he does. Bummer for him, but he should have checked with you first. Make HIM call the guy and tell him. He accepted, now he can decline because HE made the mistake.

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors