Thoughts on who is in the wrong on this situation…

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 61
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I am so worried that you are having a kid with this guy 🙁

I can already picture a future post titled something like: “Husband left to go fishing and left me alone with the baby every weekend” or “Husband says I am more responsible so I get to wake up everynight to change the baby, I tell him its our job not just mine. Who is in the wrong?”.

Hope your Darling Husband learns from this as well as you.

Post # 62
Member
6171 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Shiiiiiit.

I wouldn’t watch the dog. I don’t care how late it is. I’m perfectly willing for people to see me as a “problem” when they are full of shit and disrespecting me and my space and my autonomy. Marrying someone doesn’t make you their appendage.

When people choose to do things (and when they get paid to do them) there is not some debt that is owed. If you do something for someone, you do it because you’re willing to do it. Given freely of your own will. That’s a basic lesson of childhood. Your husband was entirely wrong for volunteering you and I think you’ve given him the wrong message by planning to “just do it at this point” and be resentful. That doesn’t show him that respecting your schedule had better be a fucking priority as he moves forward. That shows him that being inconsiderate and disrespecting your time and energy is fine because you’ll do something and just be resentful. As a PP said, this does not bode well for the division of labor when you become parents.

I would take his phone, call his “friend” and let him know that your husband was mistaken and he will be away and you are not available. and then have yourself a wonderful weekend with your mother and that baby you’re growing. If the friend says boo to you, remind him that he was paid to take care of your dogs and you didn’t think that meant that they would be locked in a basement all week.

This is bullshit.

Post # 63
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: February 2017

Be understanding and let the dog stay. Take the high road.  Yes he should have asked and i know it’s annoying but he did watch yours.  Weather or not his dig sitting standards are as high as yours is up for debate.  Borrow a kennel it can sleep in at night in your house (so it doesn’t wreck the house). Then when hubby gets back tell him he owes you BIG.

Post # 65
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee

lula0508 :  : ) I’m glad.  He chose wisely lol 

Post # 66
Member
4028 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

lula0508 :  I’m commenting on your most recent update. He made the right decision. And he needs to never volunteer you for anything again, especially when you’re pregnant and having to deal with your own dogs….SMH. 

Post # 67
Member
7002 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

lula0508 :  I’d be pissed, and I love dogs. Your Darling Husband needs to call his friend back and say “Hey man, after we talked I remembered I’ll be out of town all weekend with a fishing trip and Lula’s mom will be town so we have too much going on this weekend to watch your dog. I can’t leave her with three dogs to take care of while I’m gone. “

Either that, or he needs to cancel the fishing trip and stay home to watch the dog. If he doesn’t I’d personally be calling his friend to cancel.

ETA: After reading a few replies, I just wanted to say that I personally don’t they the OP “owes” the friend any payback since he watched their dogs. He was PAID to watch the dog, and could have easily said no if he didn’t want to do it but he said yes. That doesn’t in return mean they owe him back, his payment was money!

Post # 68
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee

lula0508 :  I am irrationally relieved/pleased to see your update.  Then again, my blood was BOILING while reading your story.

I just hope your husband isn’t acting like he did you a “favor” by cancelling the trip to look after this dog…. But let me not look for things to nitpick about. All is right, glad its sorted!

Post # 69
Member
1182 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I just saw this thread and am so glad that he decided to cancel his trip. I’m sure he thought about it and realized that pissing off his pregnant wife was not in his best interest.

His friend does sound like a leech, though, and I would stick to your guns about no more favors or help around the house from this guy.

Post # 70
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

lula0508 :  

 

Your husband was definitely in the wrong, in my opinion. Anything that will impact both of you should be discussed with both of you. And the fact that he’s going out of town and yet agreed to watch a dog that he actually can’t watch is disrespectful. 

Post # 71
Member
4260 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I think your Darling Husband can agree to watch the dog without asking you.  But then he needs to be home to watch it.

Post # 72
Member
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I do think you owe the friend dog-watching; I don’t think your DH’s scheduled trip means the friend should have to ask someone else just because your DH won’t be there to help you for the day; I don’t think watching an extra dog for a weekend is that big a deal; it’s not your friend or DH’s fault your mom is “high strung” and will be stressed about another dog being there.  Like you said, you don’t know if this is a well-behaved pup or not, so you’re creating a problem that may not even exist.

I do think he should have asked you since he’ll be gone for the day, but honestly, taking care of an extra dog is simply not that big a deal and I think you kind of need to “take one for the team” to keep the peace with your friend and husband.  It really just isn’t worth making waves.

Post # 73
Member
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Tell him to take the dog on the fishing trip! 

We take ours fishing all the time!

Post # 74
Member
480 posts
Helper bee

fourfrenchfries :  She and her husband paid for the dog-sitting, so they owe these people nothing. Also, their dogs were left in the basement the entire time, which was cruel. Since the fishing trip was already scheduled, he should have either declined or agreed to stay home with it to begin with. Definitely not the type of decision to be made unilaterally, especially when placing the burden on someone else. He should have talked to his wife about it first.

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