(Closed) Thoughts/prayers for a friend who miscarried at 33 weeks

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I will gladly include your friend in my prayers tonight.  This is such a sad loss.

Post # 4
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

Oh, how sad. I can’t imagine! I will certainly keep them in my thoughts. That is just awful. 🙁

Post # 6
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It is a very sad thing – my prayers go out to your friend.  Had the same experience and it’s just a horrible thing to go through.

Post # 7
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

As someone who lost at week 34 I can tell you this: dont call it a mmiscarriage to her face. She suffered a stillbirth because her baby was fully formed and could live outside her body. It would piss me off when people wouldn’t recognize that my baby was an actual baby.

As far as what to do, just be there for them. Let her talk about her baby. One really big thing is ask if she would like you to come over to take care of the nursery. It’s so hard because everything is set up just waiting for baby. We left the doors cloed for weeks, but everyday I passed those doors and knew what was in there.

No one can truly understand this pain unless they’ve been there. There’s weeks of waiting to find out why and 40% of the time, there is no reason. They will enter their next pregnancy knowing the same thing can happen if they chose to try again (I’m currently pregnant again and just in week 29 knowing I could lose at any time).

There aren’t many groups out there for Angel Moms, but try to Google and see if there’s anything. Locally, I have S.H.A.R.E. which only meets once a month. Also, there’s dailystregth.org. You can also tell her that I’m here too. Please, if you do say anything about me to her, don’t tell her I’m pregnant. It’d just be another blow.

Seriously, try to clean her nursery for her. She doesn’t need to see that. And, if her husband returns to work before her, call her during the day. Text, what ever. Oh, and she can get her full “maternity” leave if she fills out her FMLA as she delivered a baby and not say anything about the loss of her baby.

Post # 9
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Her and her husband are in my prayers. I am so sorry for their loss. I am very sorry to anyone else on here that has gone through the same ordeal 🙁

Post # 10
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee

TheFutureMcBride is correct, this would be considered a stillbirth.  (A miscarriage is before 20 weeks, a stillbirth is after 20 weeks). 

My sister’s first child was stillborn at 24 weeks, with a very similar situation as your friend experienced.  (She couldn’t feel her moving anymore and she went to the doctor and they could not detect a heartbeat.)  There was no explanation for why it occured.  It was a very difficult situation for our entire family.  It was very hard for her to try again because she knew the same thing could happen.  With her subsequent pregnancies, the doctors have required her to have an ultrasound every week.

I would just be there for her, offer her support with whatever you can, encourage her to stay active (invite her to get coffee, etc.), and let her talk about her feelings.  She will miss this child forever, and that’s a very tough feeling to deal with.  Just listen.

Also, don’t forget about her husband, he has suffered a loss too.

Post # 12
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@ccflowers: Oh my goodness I am so so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with your friend and her husband and their family.

Post # 13
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Gosh Im so sorry.  I was going to say exactly what a few other pps have said – this is a stillbirth, regardless of whether or not she went into labor.  I think the best advice to take here is from @TheFutureMcBride: 

Post # 14
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’m so sorry for their loss, and will definitely keep them in my thoughts and prayers

Post # 16
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@ccflowers: It’s fine you didn’t know it was a stillbirth over a miscarriage. No one uses that term even the media. Plus, it’s something that people don’t talk about. Everyone here had some great advice, so take it and help your friend.

The topic ‘Thoughts/prayers for a friend who miscarried at 33 weeks’ is closed to new replies.

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