Post # 1
So I have the order of my bridesmaids lined up for the day… first will be my sister, then my 2 best friends. I am equally close to all 3. My sister will be 17-18 and my friends 24-25 depending on when I get married. I was thinking of dividing up the Maid/Matron of Honor duties since my sister is quite young and one of my bridesmaids is super keen to help me plan everything and would have loved to be Maid/Matron of Honor (but I decided there was no way I could pick between 2 best friends). So my question is, would you be honoured to be named one of 3 maids of honour? Or is that kind of pointless? Otherwise, should I just call my sister Maid/Matron of Honor since she will be standing next to me on the day?
Post # 3
What if you just forego having a Maid/Matron of Honor and have them all be bridesmaids?
Post # 4
My sister was in the same situation when she was married (I was only 19) and she chose me to be her maid of honor. It was really special for me, and I felt so important having the special title. I didn’t do nearly as much as the other bridesmaids because I was away at college, but being named her maid of honor is something I will always treasure.
Post # 5
I would name all 3– if you want to honor them all, you should. That’s your choice.
Post # 6
It sounds like your wedding might be kind of far away, since you aren’t even sure when it will be.
I would wait til at MOST 9-12 months before the wedding to officially ask anyone. I asked right when I got engaged, about 9 months before the wedding, and I found that even pretty soon after that, my relationships with people started to change. I’m not sure that I would have asked differently, but it would have been nice to have a little more time to see where my relationships seem to be going.
So, maybe if you wait til closer til the day, things will become a little more clear.
Post # 7
I have 2 MOHs and one of my other best friends had 3 at her wedding (but she had 6 total bridesmaids so the Maid/Matron of Honor title was still “special” and distinguished between bridesmaids, even though there were 3 of us!) – I don’t think there are any “rules” to this anymore and you should do whatever feels right to you!
Post # 8
Personally, I find it kind of silly to give all of your bridesmaids a title of Maid/Matron of Honor when you therefore are not distinguishing between them. I’d just have your sister be Maid/Matron of Honor, even if she can’t help with as much.
Post # 9
You could also just avoid titles altogether, I guess, and just refer to them by their names and their relationship to you. (E.g. “Jane, Sister of the Bride.”)
Post # 10
I’m planning for my wedding to be sometime next year, so it’s not too far away but I do have time to think about it. I don’t want to wait too long though because I don’t want to give them too much time to assume the wrong thing. I’ve had these best friends for about 10 years so I don’t expect a lot to change in the next few months. I’m really lucky to have 3 girls that I’m so close to.
Thanks for all your feedback bees, it is really helpful.
Post # 11
1 Maid/Matron of Honor , I think when your MOHs start out numbering your BMs it gets silly
Post # 12
Agreed. If you gave them all Maid/Matron of Honor, you might as well not give the honor to anybody. Regardless, you will have to choose ONE to be your witness, so why not just make that person be the MOH?
My two best friends are my BMs and my Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister. There were no hurt feelings and everyone understood. I made it clear that they are all equally important to me, but in that situation my sister gets the added honor. Still, I’ve allowed them each to be involved in different ways (ie one wanted to plan the Bachelorette, the others picked the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress, go to my planning appts, etc) so they can all feel like “MOHs”
Post # 13
My sister had me as her Maid/Matron of Honor and her friend as the matron and it was like steping on toes. Who does this and who does that. I could only imagine 3! It is a lot less special when there is more than one.
Post # 14
I’m thinking I may just go with my sister as Maid/Matron of Honor. Hopefully they all feel honoured just to be up there.