(Closed) Three mother-in-laws

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
46329 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MissMalibu:  You can’t control how people act, in this case your mothers-in-law. You can control how you react. Quit trying to guess what the problem is, or figure out their mood swings. Stop letting them push your buttons.

ps I know this is easier said than done.

 

Post # 4
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just keep considering the phrase, its not you, its them. Sometimes you just can’t use reason and logic to figure other people, it is just not worth the effort.

Just be yourself and do your best no to think about it or try to understand it. Jus be yourself and be happy if you can.

Post # 6
Member
847 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

@MissMalibu:  Wow, I imagined a complicated situation where FI’s mum had a lesbian partner AND he had a step mum who was married to his dad or something. 

I’m British, so I’m really great at dealing with emotionally stunted, passive aggressive people who would rather die than just come out and say they have a problem. My advice is to ask them once what’s wrong when they act all offended, and if they say ‘oh nothing’ reply ‘good’ and ignore  them. This tactic works because if you don’t rise to their passive aggressive behaviour or try to pry whatever’s wrong out of them then they’re forced to tell you what it is or get over it. 

If they complain about something that isn’t doable, just tell them calmly why it isn’t an option no matter how many times they bring it up. Stick to your guns and try your best to rise above it without tearing all of your hair out. Remember that it’s your wedding and if anybody chooses not to go because they’re too immature to look past petty upsets then they’re the ones missing out. 

Post # 7
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee

Have you ever discussed this with your FI?  That has to be a really difficult situation!

Post # 8
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

I basically have 3 Future Mother-In-Law. His biological mother who didnt raise him but has been in the picture most of the time, his grandmother who actually raised him and his step-mum who  can along and married his dad and took over. They grandmother is wonderful but the step-mum and mum … this should be fun. They have both established themselves as MOG and insist on wearing the same colour as the bridesmaids to show their importance. Then theres my mother who wont be outdone by any mother!!!

 

The whole situation is just funny now so my advice to you is to just laugh about it. Obviously not to their face but in private find the funny side and have a good laugh. In public ask the basic concern question …. oh whats wrong?? if they say nothing … great move on if they moan about something …, ohh im sorry yoou feel that way but its what we really want I hope you understand. Keep moving and dont let them mess up your day.

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