(Closed) Three weddings- not a single thank-you note!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
11267 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

grrrr…i find this rude.  just plain rude. 

there are a few weddings that i have been to where i received no thank you card.  i received one thank you card a year to the date after their wedding. it was a wedding pic thank you and when i opened it, i thought, who are these people?

years ago, i couldn’t go to a baby shower for my now ex’s cousin so i sent it with ex’s mother.  i didn’t receive a thank you.  less than a year later the couple got married and had a huge, elaborate wedding.  i went with my now ex.  we got them a generous gift.  did not receive a thank you card.  they had another baby shortly after that and i refused to go to any shower or send them a gift.  they obviously do not appreciate it.

Post # 18
Member
1052 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars

I too have a few weddings where I didn’t receive a thank you.  At the very least it makes me nervous that they didn’t get the gift in some way.  Are they thinking how rude I am at the same time that I’m think of how rude they are? 

Post # 19
Member
10846 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

The last couple of weddings I went to I didn’t receive a thank you note either and one of my good friends never sent thank yous either, although she did verbally thank me, but I still would have liked a card with a photo! I’m cheesy like that!!

Post # 20
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
@Dizbee:  if you were a plus 1, wouldn’t your gift be from you and your date? Did he receive a thank you? 

 

If you ship a gift directly from the store, I think it’s always best to follow up with the couple and make sure they received it. From my own experience, gifts got lost and sent to wrong addresses. I even received someone elses gift once!

Post # 21
Member
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Wowww that’s crazy! Every single wedding/shower I have been to resulted in a very prompt thank you card. I did go to one baby shower, though, where they sent out a form thank you card that got my name wrong on the front….still that’s better than sending nothing at all! 

Post # 22
Member
3306 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think people do these any more. I have been to a few showers and etc. Never received a thank you note. I did send thank yous to people who attended my graduation party with a gift and I plan to do the same for my bridal shower and wedding. Most people in my area aren’t used to getting them so maybe that is why they don’t give them out *shrug*

Post # 23
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@armychica06:  i grew up in CT too and my mom always had me write thank you notes for birthday parties, graduation parties, etc. i expect to get them from people…

…but honestly i dont really sweat it if i dont… i definitely dont keep track and couldnt tell you if i got anything in the way of thank yous from the last few weddings i attended solely as guest! 

Post # 24
Member
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think it is rude not to send a thank you (maybe it’s because of where I live, I don’t know). As we receive gifts we have been writing them out to lessen the load of them we will have after the wedding. I think it is just good etiquette, and it really isn’t a difficult process unless you be lazy about it. Unacceptable not to send thank yous in some way, shape, or form, IMO.

Post # 25
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I have been to several weddings where I have not received thank you cards – I think it is sadly thoughtless.  Most of the time we give checks, so we know that the person has cashed the check but couldn’t take the 2 minutes to send out a thank you note.

It makes me frustrated especially since I’m so worried about not thanking people properly and others don’t even bother. 

Post # 26
Member
2582 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I have been lucky I guess – out of all the weddings Ive been to in the last few years, I’ve received hand-written thank you notes from all but 1.     But go figure – that 1 was the most expensive, and a pretty good friend too. I don’t get how sending thank you notes can go out of style.  I found out I’m having a “surprise” shower next month – and I already bought a set of Thank You cards so that I can write them out THAT day before they get put off and forgotten about. 

I know its so easy to forget about the smaller details amidst all the planning and excitement, but come on people, its important!!

Post # 27
Member
3263 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

The last two I’ve been to I haven’t received a thank you card from and they were both cousins! Shame on them!

Post # 28
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

When I hear stories like this, I want to send people ettiquette books.  My fiance and I are quite old fashioned and believe nothing substitutes a handwritten thank you note.  We went to a wedding the end of April and gave a generous cash gift and he got a text message or email (can’t remember).  We’re expecting the handwritten note.  I have a feeling it may not come.

Post # 29
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’ve heard a few times that it’s acceptable to write notes up to a year after the wedding but honestly, I can’t imagine anything more annoying than to receive a thank you note months and months after I gave a cash gift…almost like a ‘oh i forgot but remembered at the last minute…so thanks.’ I think they need to get out no more than 2 months after the wedding. Of all the things people complain about etiquette wise, I think saying a very swift thank you for any gift is crucial for good manners.

Post # 30
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

That’s so frustrating. It is quite rude not to send thank you notes. We’ve already sent all of ours out but we got one gift with no card, no mailing slip and BB&B “can’t” tell us who it’s from! Maybe something similar happened with the registry gift? I was double checking my list so many times, we went through all of our checks over and over, I hope that we didn’t forget anyone! 

Post # 31
Member
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Are they supposed to send it within 3 months?

I just realized I haven’t received a thank you card from a February wedding.  😛

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