- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
I’ve been pretty good about not getting jealous when acquaintances get engaged. I can rationalize it as I’m young and have time to wait and they’ve been happily in love for at least a year. As long as I tell myself that I’m good. I know my time is coming. I’m in love with a guy that’s admitted he wants to marry me we just aren’t in the right stage of our lives. But I’m having some issues with this one. (Note: initials have been used instead of individuals’ names. Sorry if that makes this difficult to read.)
Well SO’s buddy called last night to announce that he just got engaged. Afterwards SO comes over to fill me in, “Guess who’s getting married!”
“Uh … I don’t know. Who?” Thinking to myself none of your friends have been in a relationship that long except the ones that are already married.
“Really?! Well congratulations to him!” Wait a second, “Wait, D, D, who was single when we visited around Christmas?”
“Yeah, he meet this girl (note SO didn’t manage to learn her name)about 3 weeks ago. Apparently she’s just as unique as he is. He was telling AY how perfect she was and AY asked if she was that perfect why didn’t he marry her. D thought about it decided AY was right, proposed, and she said yes. So plan on attending a wedding in August next year. I already agreed to be one of the groomsmen.”
With more than a little sarcasm in my voice, “I don’t know it might kill me to attend a wedding a year and a half from now.” Some laughter was exchanged. And I changed to a more upbeat tone, “Wow. That’s great for D.”
“Yeah all the bachelors of the group are starting to drop. First B (who’s been married for 2 years), now D, K is probably next, then me, then R, AY might even get married soon but he’ll have to chose a state where its legal for him to marry his boyfriend.”
Ahhh… I’m having such a hard time being happy for D. He’s a good guy he deserves happiness but… Three weeks. I’ve been with SO for 18 months with a 5 year timeline for proposal (let alone marriage) and one of his best friends gets engaged to a woman he has only known for 3 weeks!
Engagement shortly after starting to date is just a particularly touchy subject for me. SO and I have been dating for longer than both of our parents courtships combined. (My parents will be celbrating 36 years of marriage this year and his parents have their 31st anniversary coming up.) And the parents have been less than silent about. My father when I made the mistake of asking what he and my mother did for their 1 year dating anniversary: “I first proposed to your mother after we’d been dating for 4 months and she told me no. And she continued to do so for 5 more months but she married me before we’d been dating for a year.” SO’s mother when we had ‘girl time’ cooking when I went to visit his family with him over the holidays: “I knew when I met him that I wanted BD to be the father of my children. After 9 days I remember coming home late and having my mother lecture me about being out till all hours. I got to put my hands on my hips stare her down and announce, ‘I may be late but he’s going to marry me’. I got my ring that next day.” SO’s parents were married 3 months later. My parents have already encouraged me to just propose to SO rather than wait for him because they think he’s taking too long. I’m not going to push him though. Its just discouraging to hear that his friend is engaged after only 3 weeks and I’ll be waiting for so much longer.
Thanks for letting me rant.