(Closed) Three weeks… Seriously? (a rant)

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@NoOneYouExpect:  Sometimes people just know. My dad proposed to my mom on their first date. And it wasn’t like they knew each other for a long time before dating. They had just met a few days earlier. My mom thought my dad was nuts and said no. That was in December 1974. In February 1975 they picked out a ring and announced their engagement in April 1975. They were married in July 1975 and have been married ever since.

My dad said he knew the minute he met my mom that she was the woman he was meant to spend the rest of his life with. My mom gave her number to my dad and his friend…

While I can understand that you may feel frustrated that this couple has been dating for way less than you and your partner, they aren’t you and your partner. There may be major differences in their relationship that you’re not aware of. Or maybe they’re just crazy. Who knows? Just take the time to enjoy the wonderful relationship you are in and don’t worry about what others say and do.

Post # 5
Member
812 posts
Busy bee

@NoOneYouExpect:  Lol do you feel better? You’re not alone, many of us share your pain. I try to just focus on other things – our time together, my new career, and the life I want for us. It’s tough but I’m sure you’ll get through it 🙂

Post # 6
Member
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

But why can’t our men “just know” for us?

Post # 8
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I do think 3 weeks is pretty quick! Are they planning to marry Aug 2012 or Aug 2013? At least if its 2013 they have more time to make sure its right.

My best friend got engaged after just a few months, they had about a 15 month engagement and were married last summer, they are very much in love despite the short courtship.

My Fiance proposed to me after knowing eachother for about a year, dating for about 10 months. Our wedding is this Aug. I consider our courtship relatively fast but I knew he was “the one” after about a month of dating. He says the same and I’m just glad he didn’t make me wait over a year or 2 to ask!

Post # 9
Member
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@NoOneYouExpect: Yeah, I hear you. One of my friends got engaged after going out with her bf on/off for 6 months on at longest period.

I know you are right, that my man will appreciate me showing I love him and I am willing to wait, but it’s so damn hard! I do wish he would be impulsive but then he wouldn’t be him!

Post # 10
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@NoOneYouExpect:  That’s what we’re here for! And, trust me, it doesn’t help if your friend has been dating their SO/FI for a long amount of time either. One of my GFs got engaged last week to a man she’s been with for 3 years and all I could think is it should be my turn (6+ years). LOL. It happens to the best of us! Good luck.

Post # 11
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Mrs.SleepyKitty:  Some men are spontaneous and carefree, and don’t think of the potential consequences of getting engaged with someone they’ve only known for a few days/weeks/months. Other guys want to make 200% sure they’re proposing to the right person because they only want to do it once. My Bf falls in this category. He only plans on being engaged once and getting married once, so he wants to be absolutely sure. From what I heard about my dad, he used to be a spontaneous, fun carefree kind of guy who didn’t really think much about the consequences of his actions. Fortunately, that one turned out well…

Post # 12
Member
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@futuremrste: Yeah, I know he’s a good soul. It’s just that we already have a mortgage and a home together, and we will be 4 years in May, so I don’t know how he could be any more sure. I just think he sees himself as too young, especially since he would be one of the first in his circle of friends to get engaged.

Bah. Just ignore me, I’m having an emotional day!

Post # 13
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee

@NoOneYouExpect

It’s not a competition. Your situation is not your parents’.  If you’re happy in your relationship and where you are in life – relax & enjoy it!

 

FWIW, if you’ve made it to 18 months with your Boyfriend or Best Friend already, you’re light years ahead of the 3 week couple.  What’s cute, quirky and endearing at 3 weeks often turns into annoying, weird and dealbreaking at 6 -18 months.  I’d be surprised if they last long enough to be married.

 

Post # 14
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yes, there are always the “he was the right one” stories where people get married quickly and stay married 20+ years or whatnot. My parents only dated six months before getting both engaged and married rather quickly. Needless to say it ended pretty badly about 18 years later. They had absolutely nothing in common and I think my dad just jumped at the first pretty girl to wave at him, to be honest. I think it was a different time back in the 70’s and it was pretty normal for people to get engaged quickly. These days, I don’t see the hurry. If you found “the one” why not wait at least a year? Unless you have some extenuating circumstances, I don’t think you will ever regret waiting a while.

One of my best friends got engaged after dating for three months. We had only met the guy once. I was so freaked out and worried for her and there was aLOTof gossip going around about her mental state. Was she crazy? I thought for sure her family would put a stop to it, but they seemed happy for her. In the end, it worked out! They are an adorable couple and are five years into a happy relationship.

I felt like after the first week I knew I wanted to marry my boyfriend. I just knew it. Things felt so different from my previous relationships. On that “puppy love” high I felt like if he proposed after the first month, I would have said yes. Then sanity took hold and I knew I wanted to wait it out at least a year. I wanted to be sure AND I want all my friends and family to be happy for me when we announce our engagement instead of worried or concerned. I don’t want anyone to think we rushed into things or are making a mistake.

So fear not, I think you are doing the RIGHT thing by waiting. 🙂 

 

Post # 16
Member
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Zanne54:  FWIW, if you’ve made it to 18 months with your Boyfriend or Best Friend already, you’re light years ahead of the 3 week couple.  What’s cute, quirky and endearing at 3 weeks often turns into annoying, weird and dealbreaking at 6 -18 months.  I’d be surprised if they last long enough to be married.

lol, so true! I think I’d either be the runaway bride or divorced atleast 7 times by now if I was engaged after just 3 weeks of meeting the men in my past!

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