(Closed) Three's Company

posted 6 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2778 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I would def do something about this.  I have a friend who as much as I love her does the same thing your friend described (minus the cats).  She has lived all over the country for free.  Myrtle Beach is pretty far from NY but I know that SC is a cheap place to live overall and easy enough to get a job in.

I would tell let her now gently that she has until Sept 1st to get out theres a month left.  See how she reponds to that. Do not let her be there when your bf comes if you can help it.  It would not be good for your relationship to be caring for someone else when you are trying to establish your relationship with your guy.  You two should just be worrying about taking care of each other and your son.

You were really nice to let her be there in the first place.  Honestly I would have said no to her to begin with especially if she had no job.  You dont owe her anything.  Tell her shes has til September 1st to pack her things and head down south.  And if she pulls a or your kicking me out cuz your man is coming thing then thats just bull on her part, if she was really your friend she wouldn’t take advantage of you and would have alerted you to her change of plans. Like you said she should be grateful.

ETA: My ex-coworker told me about this awful story where this girl she used to live with back in MI called her out of the blue and said she was stopping by to visit her in CO on her way to CA.  She said okay fine and then the woman called and asked to get her at the bus station at 1AM.  For whatever reason she did and then the girl asked my ex-coworker if she could stay for a bit and only needed to raise enough money for a ticket to CA.  The girl was a stripper so she took her to bars to dance and raise the money but the girl would get so drunk before dancing that they wouldn’t let her to do.  The excoworker had a young son too and the girl would bring back men and women to her place.  After a month (or two) of this my excoworkers friends had had enough collectively pooled enough money and bought the girl a one way ticket back to MI and stood and watched her pack her things, escorted her to the bus station, and waited til they saw her get on the bus and leave.  So if your friend uses money as an excuse offer her a bus ticket to SC perphaps. Call her bluff.

Post # 4
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

“Hey friend- so when I agreed you could live here, it was until September 1st. Unfortunately, I won’t have room for you after that. SO is moving in on Sept 1st and I want us to have a great start living together for the first time.” 

Post # 7
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I would tactfully tell her upfront that you timed your boyfriend’s move for when she was moving out and there will be no extra space. I don’t think there is a way to beat around the bush, I don’t think she should be there when your boyfriend moves in and I don’t think you should be worried that she’ll see it as, “Your man is moving in so you’re kicking me out.” I think that if you explain that his move was timed for when she was supposed to move that it might show her logically the situation, without bringing as many emotions into it. I would be tactful and gentle, make her feel comfortable during the conversation, but also stick with your guns.

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