(Closed) Threesome question

posted 4 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 16
Member
3903 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

jholliday1988:  fantasized sure, never done it though. Also, I wouldnt do it with a friend ever! Awkward……

Post # 17
Member
1419 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

How do you even ask a friend to join? Years ago my friend at work hinted at me that her and her bf would wanna do 3some with me. She said something along the lines of “well my bf would love you, we should hang out sometime together”.  Never saw that friend again lol.

Post # 18
Member
770 posts
Busy bee

Speck_:  this was my immediate thought too. Overly pornified guy about to wreck his relationship to get his jollies off. 

Post # 19
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

A threesome is something to explore when you’re single with absolutely no emotional ties to either person. If anything negative results from you and youre husband going through with this you’ll question yourself why you agreed. 

I think because you both watch this type of porn its become a curiosity but what you see on screen is a written/directed senecio by actors with a working relationship. 

Please reconsider this. Sometimes a fantasy is best left as a fantasy.

Post # 21
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

jholliday1988:  I had a few, so did Fiance. We have an open relationship so you’d think we had a threesome where we were the couple, but we haven’t found anyone that we would both be happy to have a threesome with yet. 

As far as couples breaking up goes: I have dated couples about to fall apart, couples in healthy relationships and one even got engaged straight after a date we had. I do think plenty of people do it to safe their relationship, which obviously won’t work. A secure relationship will not be falling apart because three people have consensual sex with each other.

As for the third person: Try to apply the same rules you would apply to dating if you were single and have your partner do the same. Dating someone immature is never fun, whether you do it as a couple or as single. Things have to fit on a personal level.

Using a condom is non-negotiable, just pack a few extra and use a new one if needed. If this becomes a regular thing, discuss with all three people present whether you want to continue using them. As the couple, you take the lead from the third person – he or she is outnumbered by you, try to be sensitive.

I also know plenty of other people who occasionally play unicorn for a couple, and all the couples in question are quite happy in their respective relationships. I would recommend reading “The Ethical Slut”. It is a book aimed at polyamorous people and quite old at this point, but there is usually a pdf floating around google and it includes some good advice on health issues and basic threesome etiquette.

Really, the most imortant thing is that everyone involved gets along very well, want to have some fun and is mature enough to deal with other people’s sensitivities. It is not rocket science.

Post # 23
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Fiance and I have discussed a threesome with another woman! We created a tinder account to search for someone, but have so far been unsuccessful finding the right fit. There are many, many couples out there looking! Best of luck!!

Post # 24
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee

I agree with what PP have said. However, if you’re absolutely certain then join a swinging group, there will be experienced approachable people there. 

Post # 26
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee

elizabeth1391:  my Fiance and I are searching for our unicorn too. I suggest sites geared to swinger or poly relationship as opposed to tinder. I think you’d have a better chance of finding like minded, respectful people. There’s a lot of rules and etiquette that people outside  the lifestyle wouldn’t understand and respect. We are on a couple sites and are apart of a local group. 

To the OP. Id recommend swinger sites too. The approaching a friend idea is not a good one. At least in my opinion. There’s so many ready and willing guys out there why make it awkward with a friend. 

Post # 27
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

jholliday1988:  I think most guys prefer 2 women and 1 guy. So if you so wants another guy that’s ‘great’. but I would never do it with a friend. but i would also never do it with a stranger for std reasons. 

nobody knows what will happen afterwards but of course your relationship COULD suffer. or maybe not!

Post # 28
Member
3244 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

jholliday1988:  okcupid is great for meeting an openminded third!!! you can be married and looking for another person to join

Post # 29
Member
1653 posts
Bumble bee

Oh boy, from a person who has lived this don’t do it! It will continue. My thoughts and I may get some flack on it but it’s just my take on it  but… Your husband might be secretly gay or bi.  Trust me on that. Been there done that, don’t wanna go back.

Post # 30
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee

UndercoverKitty007:  but it doesnt seems like he’s turned on by the another guy part. More of seeing jholliday with another guy. That screams cuckold to me not DL. 

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