(Closed) Threw my ring out the car window :-(

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@JessyMess: so glad you both are making an effort to better your relationship, I hope everything works out. Good luck!

Post # 48
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’ve had some ruff patches in my relationship with my Fiance but we have grown over the 9 years that we have been dating; we handle arguments in a far more mature manner now, then when we were 17. With age comes maturity. I agree with most of the ladies but I also feel that maybe you should just take some time to be alone and think about what you want out of your relationship.

Post # 49
Member
1550 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

i feel like you have the right attitude about all of this, and nothing that I tell you on here is going to change anything.

As long as you realize that you acted irrationally, and he realizes he has stuff to work on to,o I think you guys can work it out. counseling is a great idea, both as couples and individually.

knowing that you need to grow as a person (as we all do) is the best you can do.

Post # 50
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Either he has an extremely short temper (which is never a good thing) or there is a background story here that we are not aware of. Perhaps he really is fed up with your behaviour and just had enough. Throwing his grandmothers engagement ring out of the car window? That’s just immature and inconsiderate.

Honestly, you should not be getting married.

Post # 51
Member
3135 posts
Sugar bee

@allihappy:

It’s best to read the whole thread before commenting.  The OP has written a wonderful update.


 

OP: Yay! I too have had some knock down, drag out fights with my Fiance and I’m 40 and he is mid 30s. It doesn’t always result from age.

Good on your for getting the help you need nd good on your FH as he seems to really be trying too.  Lots of guys wouldn’t ever search out, nevermind even read a self help book!  You sound like you have a keeper here!

Post # 52
Member
10849 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@allihappy: Read to OP’s update above (comment #43). They’re in counselling and working hard to resolve their issues and have a happier, healthier relationship 🙂

@JessyMess: I’m so glad to hear you guys are working together on this. It must feel terrific! Keep up the good work!

Post # 53
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@JessyMess:

That’s great! If you can get through this and he happily slips the ring on your finger once again, imagine 10 years from now? You will be walking down memory lane and say to each other “we were crazy! I’m so glad that we grew up a little before marriage” and then you will take the kids to the zoo 🙂

Post # 54
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

NEVER throw jewelry- 

remember this story? Actor NICOLAS CAGE threw LISA MARIE PRESLEY’s $60,000 (GBP40,000) engagement ring into the sea during a row.

Post # 55
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@retreadbride: I think I’m going to look for it : )

 

@JessyMess: So happy to read that healthy update!  This will make your relationship and your general quality of life so much better!  It will help in many areas.  Wishing you the best and admiring your courage to step up and make it better!  Best of luck to you!

Post # 56
Member
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Nevermind.

Post # 56
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

WHY does he even still co-own a car with her?  He never heard of Craigslist? 

He needs to SELL the car ASAP – and leave the Ex in the past, where she belongs.

And yes, go to counseling – you’re both drama queens – and that’s not good.  It’s manipulative on both sides.

Post # 58
Member
47277 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

highamplitude:  The thread is 3 years old. My guess is things have changed one way or the other since then.

Post # 59
Member
11195 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

strawberryavalanche:  

This, exactly.  Throwing the ring out the window probably wasn’t your finest moment but your FI’s behavior wasn’t exactly exemplary.

It sounds possibly emotionally or verbally abusuive or both.  Feeling abused can certainly drive the victim into out of character behavior.

The clue for me, OP is how quick you are to tell us how great he is & how lucky you are.

I’m glad you’re going to counseling.

Post # 60
Member
229 posts
Helper bee

I also have a temper and use it as a defence mechanism when cornered. I thinK Your doing the same.

I don’t think you were being more crazy for throwing the ring out the window. You was matching his crazy. He starts screaming at you and barking orders about ‘take the ring off’ / ‘move out tomorrow’. Of course you panicked and reacted. yes in a wrong way but your no more in the wrong than he is. He pushed you to it and should of been helping to search for it if it meant that much to him.  

However I feel you need to address your insecurities and anger so well done on seeking help it’s not an easy choice to make. But I also think this guy/relationship could be adding fuel to the fire. Perhaps his issues also need to be addressed. 

 

Good luck sweetie and keep smiling x

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