threw out exboyfriend

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Hostess
7930 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2019

I am not sure where you legally stand by not allowing your ex to see his kid but it sounds like there were very many reasons to break up with him so well done for that!

Post # 3
Member
313 posts
Helper bee

He’s your baby’s father and he and your baby have every right to nurture a relationship. He has a really spotty past and if you didn’t think he would be a good role model you should not have had a child with him in the first place.

Your job now is to take care of your child and find a way to make sure they enjoy a relationship with their father. If you truly feel that they may be in danger with him then engage a 3rd party to help navigate the situation. But it’s not your job to police it just cause you’re mad at him. 

Post # 4
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee

So he hits you, disrespects you, throws things at you while you’re holding the baby and is worried that you embarrassed him in front of his friends? Good lord, get a restraining order, a child support order and never speak to him again. 

EDT- Oh and drunk driving in your car? Seriously you did a good thing kicking this loser out. 

Post # 5
Member
6366 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Yeah, guy was a loser from the start. But since he’s hit you in the past… do you have any record of that? I’d do my very best to ensure he was out of my and baby’s life forever. I doubt he’d really care anyway. I guess these days it’ll be called victim blaming but seriously: next tome show a little self-respect when choosing your SO. This should have never gone so far. 

Post # 6
Member
833 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

I am very proud of you. This was a toxic relationship. You and your baby deserve a better life. The cheating, drinking and driving and drugs are a huge red flag. He needs to get his life together. Don’t allow him back in the house. Your baby does not need to be around that. Keep yourself safe. 

Post # 7
Member
2972 posts
Sugar bee

I didnt throw him out cause I didnt want him in my life or to be my family, i did it more to get my point across but now he refuses to return which I get it.

Why do you still want an abusive, lazy, mooching, drunk-driving, cheating asshole in your life? 

Pleaae get counseling, see a family lawyer that specializes in abuse, and file an order for child support. That money is rightfully your child’s; it’s not yours to give up. If you don’t need it, put it in savings for college or a future home for your child.

Post # 12
Member
6366 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Confuscious10 :  use them as evidence. You may love him but anyone who would do that doesn’t love you no matter what they say. Anyone who would do that will do it to his kid for pooping his pants or accidentally breaking something. Kicking him out was the best thing you ever did. If you don’t want your child to think his behavior is acceptable, why do you think it is when done to you and the other three women? Get rid of him. Move somewhere if courts allow it so he doesn’t know where you are. Get his paycheck garnished for child support to avoid contact. Thank your lucky stars that you and your child got out. 

ETA: you didn’t call police so he wouldn’t have problems? He DESERVES problems. What about you??

Post # 13
Member
2972 posts
Sugar bee

Please go to a domestic violence group for help navigating your situation. If not for you, for your child and their wellbeing.

Post # 14
Member
10436 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Confuscious10 :  

I stopped reading at he hit you a few times.

Yet, you’re fixated on the cheating.

That’s not healthy, Bee.  Throwing him out was absolutely the right thing to do.  You’ll save a lot of money by being alone without him over being alone with him around.

But, Bee.  Please get yourself into therapy. There may be group counseling available at your local DV facility.  Group support can be invaluable. The dismissiveness with which you are responding to his violence toward you is alarming.  What message would this send to your child?  What if you had been holding your baby? You must learn to protect yourself and not be drawn to another abuser.  Or be tempted to give this POS another chance.

Post # 15
Member
3549 posts
Sugar bee

You set a pretty low bar for him and surprise, surprise, he didn’t manage to get over it. 

While it’s good that you’re done with him I’m wondering if you’ve learned anything from your experience. Here are some suggestions as to lessons to be gained from this relationship:

Any cheating by someone you’re dating should result in you ending the relationship. End.of.story.

Men who have drug habits make pretty poor providers and father figures.

Men who have a bunch of baby mamas are not the kind of men you need in your life, they will only fuck it up and leave you pregnant with their child. Then they won’t pay child support.

These are just a few ideas. Perhaps therapy would help you. I think a big dose of self-esteem and confidence are what you need, or you’re going to find yourself in the same place with another man.

 

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