- 2 weeks ago
Looking for advice and feedback here. A few weeks ago I threw my now ex childs father out of the house.
It was a long time coming. We have been together almost 4 years and have a 13 month child. He has 3 kids from 3 other women. There has been various instances of him cheating on me in the past 3 years and I have stayed with him. I have always held a grudge and have brought the cheating up because it really hurt and bothered me. The fact that he has always denied instead of coming out admitting it and apologizing has made me feel worse. I have proof, I know all about these instances. These tramps sent him nude photos after I gave birth, from that point on I brought the cheating up even more and questioned why they were sending these photos and I would take care of them when I saw them. I feel they had no respect for me because of negative things he said abnout me to one of them which is one that he had cheated on me with the year before. He tells her im crazy and stupid. it hurt a lot because the kids would come to the house, I would play, feed them, take them out and the mothers show me their appreciation in this manner.
Move ahead, baby is born last year, we live together, i pay all bills cause he cant seem to catch up to his bills and the child support. He expresses how he wants and wishes he could do more but cant. i make a pretty large salary so it wasnt a big deal to me, I basically would ask him to just cover a few utility bills which he has never done. I buy and do everything for baby and have asked him to help. He barely changes diapers, never feeds baby and I am the one doing all grocery shopping for him and baby. I complain and ask him to help more. He tries to mow lawn and take out trash and fix odd things around the house. He bathes baby once in awhile but it has been me to wake up every morning, take care of baby, drop baby at sitter, drive 1hour to work, then rush back to sitter after work, pick up baby, play with baby and put baby to bed. He works 2nd shift from 1pm to 10pm so Im usually alone everyday. When he gets home from work, he expects me to hang out with him and he stays up til about 3 am in front of the tv and ends up sleeping on the couch everyday. I am exhausted and and have to wake early in the morning so i fall asleep by 10 most of the time. Sometimes, i sit in front of the tv and fall asleep with the baby and when he arrives I ask him to be quiet and not turn on the lights. He gets upset and questions why he has to do this. he says, he just got home and considers this his daytime. He has started to tell me that sometimes he doesn’t feel like coming home after work. He hit me a few times in the past and whenever I found out about those woman and confronted them he would get angry with me and come home and attack me. He likes to drink but when he lived with me he never went out, never drank and never celebrats holidays or buys me gifts on bday, mothers day, valentines day and I am so sick of it. I have alwyas bought him gifts on holidays. he has said he wants to but never has oney but has money for marijuana/alcohol when he does drink occasionally with his friends. When he does, he goes overboard and drinks immensely and onc eI ask him to stop already he fights with me the rest of the night. In the last 2 months he was bringing friends over around 10 pm at night and would hang out, I would ask they keep it down cause baby is sleeping and he complain that I asked and say i am mean to hius friends and I dont allow him to have friends over the house.
I don’t think he has cheated since after baby was born. He complains to me a lot, stating I do not wash our clothes correctly, I don’t know how to do anything, i am a bad driver cause I never focus road. At one point, he was complaining that the toilet paper I bought was to rough. I have said to him, if you have so many complaints about me why do you bother with me.
I am very tired most of the time, but would try hard to make sure him and baby were okay and had everything they needed. I work from home a few days a week and these days I also watch the baby and would be with him until he left for work. On those days, i would make him lunch or go out and buy him lunch and also would make him lunch for work. On the weekend, I would say I want to step out alone to do errands or simply do my nails and his response was always. i know you are taking the baby with you. I would get so angry by this. He made it seem like he was not th efather more like a babysitter. My family watches the baby and not once has his mother offered to watch the baby. I reached my boiling point. I felt like i was a single mother so i began contemplating being one. I felt he gives me more work than help. I got frustrated and yelled at him in front of his friends twice. The last two weeks before I threw him out, he brought a dog to the house when I said I had not time or energy for one and don’t think he does either. Besides, that he went to his other kids mothers house to pick it up. Then I asked him to leave the house, after 2 days, he ends up having an accident at 6am after hanging out all night in a car that is under my documentation. I would always say to him, be careful, no drunk driving and try to limit the people you put in the car cause they can wind up suing me if they get hurt. Off course, he couldn’t respect these things. His response is im a drill sargeant with too many rules and he blamed me for his accident. On memorial day, we had a family outing, which I drove and he picked on my driving gthe entire way there and back home. When we got home I yelled and gav ehim attitude, he threw food of the stove at me while I was feeding the baby in the kitchen, at that point I told him he has to go. It has been almost 6 weeks and he calls and tells me he would never come back home to me, I am this and that and he was so miserable at teh house and I have way to many rules. I don’t want my child to not grow up without a father I want my family but he just blames me. I didnt throw him out cause I didnt want him in my life or to be my family, i did it more to get my point across but now he refuses to return which I get it. At this point, i am going to move on as he is telling me he is doing but struggling cause I threw him out like a dog and embarressed him in front of his friends. I just dont know what to do now. He wants to see the baby but I am not allowing him to as I feel he is a poor role model and I dont care for my child to see their father 3 minutes a month. I rather my child forgets him and he disappears.