(Closed) Throw/Host my own Shower?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Most people would say that it is, just because doing that is pretty close to directly asking people for gifts.  Is there no one else who could throw it for you?  It could still be at your house and you could decorate/fund the whole thing, but it will look a lot better if someone else’s name is on it…

Post # 4
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I agree with greenleafmountain.  YOu could still have it had your home, but maybe a friend or someone could host it.  

Post # 5
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You hold it at your house, but I would find a host. The point of bridal showers is to do something nice for the bride and shower her with gifts so I think people think it was funny that you were hosting your own shower.

Post # 6
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Yeah, see, the thing with showers is, the whole point of one is to “shower” the bride with gifts. So that’s why it’s in bad taste to throw yourself one.

Post # 7
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with hosting it at your house, but finding a hostess.

Post # 8
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree with the others dont throw yourself one. maybe a friend? or future SIL? MOH?

Post # 9
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

If you don’t want one, don’t have one!  Showers are something other people throw for you – it’s a little like throwing yourself a surprise birthday party; it can be done but it’s awkward.  If you don’t care, then why bother?

Post # 10
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I agree with the others. Don’t throw it for yourself but find someone to host one for you.  We did one at my cousin’s house but the SIL threw it for her. She did all the decor and food.  The bride did nothing but look cute 🙂

Post # 11
1699 posts
Bumble bee

You cannot hold a “shower” for yourself, because that is tantamount to asking for gifts. But you can hold a “bridal tea”. That’s a party held by the bride or her mother to thank the bridesmaids for all their support. It’s exactly like a shower in that you can play silly games and have cute finger-food and invite all your girlfriends; but the guests of honour are your maids instead of you, and you can take the opportunity to give little gifts from you to them if you like.

It’s also traditional at a bridal tea to show off any wedding gifts you’ve already received (that gives your friends a chance to snoop at your china pattern and ooh and ah over how pretty it is — or how sensible your are) and also to lay out your bridal lingerie and even your wedding-night nightie to give your friends something to giggle embarrasedly over.

Admittedly modern girls are unlikely to be embarrassed by the thought of wedding-night apparel, but it’s still kind of fun.

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