(Closed) Throwing a Bridal shower for an “unconventional” bride

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I will say that I felt the same way and really did not want to open the gifts. I did because I knew I had to and it felt like it was a bragging show.

My mom bought me half of my registry, and I was deeply embarrassed flaunting it in front of everyone. 

I was very appriciative of what she bought, but not eveyone needed to see that.

Plus, I felt like it took foreverrrrrrrr…

But truth is when I go to showers, I really love to watch people open their presents and ESPECIALLY love to see their reaction to mine..

So tell her she has to do it…and it will be over before she knows it. Laughing

Post # 4
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We call those display showers around here.  Just let the guests know that “gifts will be displayed, no need to wrap.”  It’s also going green!

Post # 7
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

BUMP! I would love to get some input on this as well! As the bride, I have no desire to sit and open presents for hours. I love the idea of a display shower but I would love to know how that works!

Post # 8
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

The reason a shower is thrown is to “shower” the guest of honor (the bride) with gifts.  This means that it is a requirement that all invited guests bring a gift to the shower.  (So, as the hostess, you should only invite people that you know will WANT to celebrate the bride’s wedding by giving her a gift.)  Gifts should be small, since they are “required.”

It really is necessary for the bride-to-be to open the gifts, smile and thank the giver.  People do love to see the reaction to the gift they’ve given; the gifts should be small – larger gifts are reserved for wedding gifts and should be sent to the bride’s home.  This will prevent the bride from being embarrassed by displaying a generous gift.  Since the shower should be small and intimate, this opening of gifts should not take a great deal of time.

The primary concerns with opening gifts tend to be the time and the embarrassment, so removing both of those issues should remove the bride’s hesitation. 

Post # 9
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

My Mother bought a bunch of things, but she gave them to me after the shower 🙂 She gave me the kitchen aid mixer at the shower, knowing that I would have the best reaction to it. Crate and Barrell had discontinued the one that I wanted and it had been removed from my registry, but my Mom actually went to NJ to get the last one in the north east gotta love moms.

I love when people open gifts, even though I hated doin it. LOL. People expect it.

Post # 10
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@ chellology Mine we just set on display and had notes attached — everyone just mingled and looked at them.  The one place I registered set up all their gifts for me and the other “Macy’s” has a “go green” option on their registry and the guests just brought those and added them.

I know that there are differing opinions on this, but my guests thought it was brilliant.

Here’s a picture!

Post # 11
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I feel the same way as she does! i do not like opening presents in front of people, or being the center of attention. I know my sister and mom want to throw me a bridal shower, so I will let them. What it comes down to is I will put up with it out of appreciation for my family and bridesmaids. I would maybe talk to her and see what she would prefer. I like that idea about the display pictures! Don’t wrap everything so people can see what has been given to the bride!

Post # 14
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I had a friend get married a while back who had the same feeling about being the center of things. I also had the awkward chance of standing beside her when her mom came up and said “Look, all these people are here to see you. So go open the gifts.” And she did and ended up being ok with it.

I’ve never heard of a display shower, though, it seems like a nice compromise. 

Post # 15
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@chellology – The place who set up their gifts already attached the cards, and my Maid/Matron of Honor attached notes to the gifts that came in with the guests.  I believe that on my invitation we just wrote at the bottom “Gifts will be displayed, no need to wrap”.   Some of the older people (ahem – my mom) weren’t sure how this was going to go over but she was thrilled after the fact. 🙂

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