- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2018
It’s almost over! We’re on the cusp of a 4 day weekend, of course we’re kicking this whole thing off at the 99 house with an End of the World part…honestly it should just be titled and End to Sobriety Party, but we’ve got plenty of gin and jammies for all, so it’s a good thing.
I figured I would share my tried and true party hosting tips to my lovely bees for your amusement and consumption!
1. Putting out fresh flowers and lighting candles makes your guests to think you went to a lot of trouble, fact is it’s cheap, quick and distracts people from the stuff you didn’t do.
2. Load the bathrooms with toilet paper and kleenex, also if you have locks on the doors, make sure a key is secretly stored on top of the outside door frame, just in case someone tries to go Diana Ross, you can intervene on her before she gets out of hand.
3. There are two kinds of guests, the inner circle and the rest…inner circle guests arrive early, help out and keep the peace, treat these people with a secret stash of top shelf booze.
4. Every party has The Couple to Watch…you know this pair, they’ve been having problems, everyone knows it, and barring some interstellar intervention, you can bet even money on the fact that one of them is going to pull the trigger on the airing of greivances after one too many Lemon Shandies…at this point you have one choice, Napoleon this bitch, divide and conquer, otherwise you can bet a domestic dispute is next on their to do list and they might just do it in your front yard!
5. Party games suck, unless they involve setting up an obstacle course in the house that includes but is not limited to a garbage can, a dog bed, a yard stick and a hula hoop.
6. Making a toast to your guests lets them know you appreciate their company and enjoy hosting, if you are an eloquent and witty sort, this is always a good way to kick off the night.
7. No one has ever died from singing along to Journey, ever.
8. When in doubt, get some air.