(Closed) Throwing a party for someone without asking if the date works for them?

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
2275 posts
Buzzing bee

I would call them and try to find out what’s going on. I would also make it clear that we can’t make it to the party. 

I wouldn’t suck it up and attend the party. Planning a party in someone’s honor without talking to them is rude, and I don’t accept rude behavior like that. 

Post # 3
1274 posts
Bumble bee

I would call the friend that offered to throw you a party and ask what the deal is. It’s very possible that she mentioned it to the other friend that posted about it and that friend took it all out of proporation and thought, “hey let’s throw it in with my housewarming #3!”

If that’s the case and the party is actually the housewarming, I would just throw your own at your apartment and invite whom you want to. 

Post # 4
7594 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well that is just weird and rude!

Post # 5
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I had to deal with someone doing this. A close family member offered to throw my shower, I was so grateful, until she started planning and not once asked if the timing worked for me. She wanted to throw it the weekend before the wedding, which could not work for me. I have midterms and would prefer to have the week leading up to the wedding to just focus on that and do all the last minute stuff. She got really upset and said that was the only time that worked for her, she is going on a vacation the month before the wedding, and requires the 3 weeks leading up to the wedding, after she gets back, to recoup from her trip. I told her how much I appreciated the offer, but the timing just wouldn’t work for me with everything I have already going on. I was extremely appreciative of the offer and told her so, I tried to be nice about saying I would ask someone else to throw it. She has not spoken to me since, but has complained to other family members about it and that when someone offered to throw hers (20+ years ago), she just needed to know where and when to show up. Apparently, I am obnoxious for wanting my shower to be at a time that is convenient for me.

I would talk to the friend and find out her plan. If it doesn’t work for you, say so. Just be forewarned, some people take things very personally. I hope your friend is more understanding than my family member. A party in your honor should work with your schedule. 

Post # 6
1557 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

nawella:  I would call the friend throwing the housewarming and let her know that you while you appreciate the guesture of celebrating in tandem, you won’t be available that weekend due to pre-existing commitments.

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