(Closed) Throwing a Pity Party for myself

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I understand your frustration but I do also understand the other side. It would be a lot of money for everyone to spend to fly to Mexico, get a hotel, take off work, etc. Since it’s what you want to do I say go for it and get married on the beach (sounds amazing) and then come home and throw a reception at home so everyone else who couldn’t afford to make it to the actual wedding can be there to help you celebrate and show how happy they are for you!

Post # 5
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

This happened to us to some extent. We got married in Mexico this past May, and while we did have a handful of our close friends and family members with us, we were also shafted by an entire side of my DH’s family, including his mother, grandmother and brother. My own mother booked and then backed out at the last minute and went to Florida instead with my sister. DH’s mom told him right from the start she would not go if we got married in Mexico. And it wasn’t due to finances, which we would understand, it was due to the fact that she has tremendous anxiety and phobias and won’t get on a plane or go to a place like Mexico where she fears her head would get chopped off. She also didn’t support us or the marriage so she was making it loud and clear. We haven’t heard from her since March and we’ve been married since May with no acknowledgement that there was even a wedding. 

We had a ton of negativity surrounding our wedding but you know what? When we got to Mexico it was unbelievably beautiful and serene and all of our stresses were lifted. Our wedding was beautiful and we knew that the people who WERE there were the people who truly did support us and our marriage. We did it due to financial reasons ( we had to pay for our weddings ourselves and with cash as we can’t get loans) and it was a personal decision. We wouldn’t have wanted it any other way; it was so perfect 🙂 If you want I can send you some pictures for inspiration.

I’m sorry you’re going through this but don’t let people bring you down. If they are your true friends or supporters, they will make an effort to go or at least to explain why they cannot be there. It’s not easy for everyone to afford it, so you have to understand that you’re sacrificing a big wedding and everyone being able to go for an intimate wedding with only a few people. Have you considered a small bbq or reception back home so other people who cannot come will have the opportunity to celebrate with you afterwards? You could play a video of the ceremony so they feel like they are there with you.

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