(Closed) Throwing My Hands Up in Air (Fairly Long Vent)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I know exactly where you’re coming from. We’ve cut some of FMIL’s invites, but Fiance has yet to tell her this. Since I couldn’t wait any longer to send the Save-The-Date Cards, I went ahead with our “agreed” list and maybe Future Mother-In-Law won’t realize there were people missing? Or, it will make Fiance break it to her that we had to cut and we’re sticking to our decision.

Argh!

Post # 4
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Aw, I’m sorry that you’re going through all this frustration and hassle. It’s unfair of her to be making so many demands on you, especially since it seems they are not contributing to the wedding (other than by pumping up the guest count), and the only reason she seems to want to add this latest person is because she felt bad that she was overheard.

I know it’s easy to say, but I would take a stand and not invite that person to the wedding. When she says “Fine, we’ll deal with the phone calls”, grit your teeth and let it pass – yeah, she’ll deal with them, because she’s the one who feels awkward about them overhearing her. It’s not up to your parents to pay to assauge her conscience.

Post # 5
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Wow.  Hello similar situation!  My fiance and I ended up not even sending out Save-The-Date Cards because my Future Mother-In-Law wouldn’t get us the guest list in time.  I told her the date that I needed it by in order to get the Save-The-Date Cards, but she completely ignored my request, and told my fiance that she just wasn’t ready.  They also ended up not speaking to each other for nearly 3 months, until Christmas.  I finally gave up on the STD idea, but it was even a struggle to get Future Mother-In-Law to get me her guest list for the invitations!!  And she refuses to cut anyone from her list…leaving my fiance and I to cut our lists because my parents’ list is made entirely of family.  We had to cut a large number my father’s family at the beginning of our engagement because the list was getting too big, I have cut numerous friends, fiance has cut friends and close co-workers, but FMIL won’t cut anyone…even people that my fiance has not seen in nearly 20 years!  Our guest list that we wanted to cut to 300 is now 350.  I feel your pain!  And it’s not so easy to say “I’m just not going to invite the people she won’t cut” because this is a VERY small town and she has already guaranteed them an invite!  

Post # 6
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I totally feel your pain!  My Future Mother-In-Law was NOT quick about the addresses and I ended up sending the Save-The-Date Cards without her list.  I think I was kind of hoping she would just never get them to me and then we wouldn’t have to invite those people.  Well.  About 2 months after the Save-The-Date Cards went out (and after many many reminder emails), she finally sent me the addresses I asked for.  And ADDED 35 more addresses on top of that!  For our little 125 person wedding, that’s a TON.  And my Future In-Laws are not paying for anything, so I was a little upset.  Ok, a lot upset.  Fiance didn’t get why I was upset, and then I started reading him the names and he didn’t know who any of them were….he started to understand my frustration then.  There really wasn’t anything to do but hope upon hope that they don’t come.  Eeeep.

@5292010, I take it from your username that we’re date twins!  Yay!!

Post # 7
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I totally feel your pain!  My Future Mother-In-Law was NOT quick about the addresses and I ended up sending the Save-The-Date Cards without her list.  I think I was kind of hoping she would just never get them to me and then we wouldn’t have to invite those people.  Well.  About 2 months after the Save-The-Date Cards went out (and after many many reminder emails), she finally sent me the addresses I asked for.  And ADDED 35 more addresses on top of that!  For our little 125 person wedding, that’s a TON.  And my Future In-Laws are not paying for anything, so I was a little upset.  Ok, a lot upset.  Fiance didn’t get why I was upset, and then I started reading him the names and he didn’t know who any of them were….he started to understand my frustration then.  There really wasn’t anything to do but hope upon hope that they don’t come.  Eeeep.

@5292010, I take it from your username that we’re date twins!  Yay!!

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