(Closed) Throwing the shower – Give a gift?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
13251 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

My bridesmaids got together and got me a gift in addition to the shower, and I’ve always gotten a separate gift outside of the shower for weddings I’ve been in.  That being said, I think given your situation, you don’t really need to get her a gift and the bride will understand, since she presumably knows you’re under a bit of financial stress.

Post # 4
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My first thought is to not do something you cannot afford.

However, if you could do something small as a symbolic gesture, I think it would be nice.  Perhaps a nice framed candid photo of the two of you?  My Goddaughter threw me my wedding shower.  She’s 20 (I’m 36!), in college, works only part time, and is planning her own wedding in January!  I certainly did not expect a gift, but she went to the dollar store and bought candles to go along with the poem below, and put it all in a basket.  It was my favorite gift.

A basket of candles that come in a pair
in all different colors, for you two to share.
The white ones burn first;
they are wrapped in white lace
to celebrate your first married night
in your new chosen place.
The green pair is taller, and also much thinner;
burn with the first company you have over for dinner.
The dark blue candles are for after your first fight;
use them to burn while making up all night.
Pink candles set the mood and pave the way
for your first married Valentine’s Day.
Now, when your first year of marriage is through,
the cream anniversary pair, will light for you two.
Red candles aflame, both your futures are bright;
celebrate promotions you’ve worked toward with all of your might.
By this time we hope, maybe, just maybe
you can light the purple ones, on the birth of your baby.
And just when you thought you’d put these away,
take the light blue ones out for your fifth anniversary day.
Now just one more pair left – for the big “two five” –
the anniversary pair that will keep your love alive.
Congratulations (Bride and Groom)
on the start of your forever.
May the two of you always be happy together.
And burn these candles just the way we said,
but please don’t forget: blow them out before bed!

Post # 5
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Get her a small gift you can afford. Giving a shower isn’t so much a gift as an expected thing you do as a bridesmaid.

Post # 6
866 posts
Busy bee

I think doing the shower is a wonderful gift and no additional gift is needed.

Post # 7
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Tess63110:  What a sweet idea for a gift!  I love it 🙂  I think something like that would be a lovely gift to recieve!

Post # 8
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

You should give a gift of some kind.  

Post # 9
8823 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@LoveMikey:  my Maid/Matron of Honor gave me a cake knife as a shower gift and my 2 BMs who are sisters bought me a chip and dip bowl and one of the signs with a saying.  they all hosted my shower.

you can get something little, it doesn’t have to be major.


Post # 10
2946 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

The PPs have it right, you are throwing a shower, and paying what you can afford, a gift is really not necessary.

That said, you can also divide your presant budget for the wedding and give a shower gift.  IE if you were going to spend $50 for a wedding present, you could buy a $10 shower gift and a $40 wedding present instead.  That is usually how I end up budgeting most weddings that I’m invited to showers for. 

Post # 12
1231 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Sounds like you’re very generous! It also sounds like your friend would totally understand if you didn’t get her a gift. You have lots of ideas from other Bees too… good luck!

Post # 13
7271 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have always given a gift when hosting a shower and also received a gift from the hostess of my shower. That being said, I absolutely did not expect a gift from any of my BMs who helped host my shower. One of them did a sweet kit that was fairly cheap but had a lot of thought put into it. It was something like this: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090830190452AAl1TQN. A cute poem with some little gifts. I am not home right now so I can’t post what she actually gave/wrote but I can share once I do get home.

If you don’t have any money left over after the shower, just get her a cute card and express how much her friendship means to you. As a bride, I would not think twice about the hostess not giving me a gift.

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