(Closed) Throwing your own bridal shower a faux pas?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1305 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
emmabird :  That’s a no no but I agree that you shouldn’t say anything to her about it.

Post # 3
Member
30393 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There is no occasion where it is correct to host a gift giving occasion in your own honor.

Post # 4
Member
2229 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Where I’m from showers don’t exist so I find them weird no matter who throws it!

Post # 5
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee

Yuppers very gift grabby

Post # 7
Member
922 posts
Busy bee

Meh, it wouldnt bother me. Maybe she doesnt have anyone close enough to through her one. If I had a freind who was getting married I would want her to have a shower even if she didnt have anyone that could throw her one. But then I also really enjoying giving gifts so maybe that’s why!

Post # 7
Member
3057 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

It’s really frowned on. Unless you are going to offer to throw her a shower I wouldn’t say a thing. 

Post # 8
Member
3381 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Many of the guests at our couples shower assumed that we threw it for ourselves, when in reality my bridesmaids and my mother did. So maybe in some areas this is the norm now.. although I certainly wouldn’t have thrown one for myself. Although my area is where “stag and doe” parties are also the norm (in some circles) so maybe people have greatly lowered their etiquette expectations. 

Post # 9
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I’m from the UK – we don’t do bridal showers , I don’t really understand why the bride need extra presents anyway? I also don’t get why there’s ahowers, batchelorettes and rehearsals- it all seems a bit much and just sums up the excess of weddings. 

Post # 10
Member
2229 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

View original reply
littlebeephoebe :  Exactly, like here’s a gift for you before I give a gift to both of you at your wedding? Um, okay

Post # 11
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

Personally, I’m not really into the whole shower thing. But I’d be hesitant to condemn this girl as gift grabby or tacky without knowing more. Maybe the bridal shower is a huge tradition in her family, and is the one element of her wedding that she’s always dreamed of – but she doesn’t have anyone nearby to throw it so she decided to just do it herself? Or maybe she’s actually clueless – ettiquette can be tricky to figure out if you haven’t been to many events like these before! Or maybe someone said something to her that made her think it would be sad/pitiful/some other negative thing NOT to have a bridal shower, and that insecurity stuck with her so she decided to do it herself.

Or maybe she IS doing it with the sole hope of attention and gifts. I guess I don’t see it as a huge deal. I think a lot of girls who get showered place the expectation of throwing a shower squarely and loudly on the shoulders of a Maid/Matron of Honor or other loved one anyway. And even brides who don’t ask for it still put themselves in the position of anticipating and accepting unneccesary gifts from others when they agree to being showered. As the guest, it doesn’t really change anything for you. You can choose to be happy for her and take part in the revel, or not.

Post # 12
Member
20 posts
Newbee

If by bridal shower you’re referring to what i know as a Hen’s PArty, then nope not a faux pas – it may be that her bridesmaids dont know all of her friends so she’d prefer to take control herself

If you’re referring to an occasion where people are expected to buy you gifts, i find them tacky regardless of who throws them 😉

Post # 13
Member
9894 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t say anything, but it’s definitely inappropriate to throw yourself a party when the entire point is to give you gifts.

Post # 14
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m also in the ‘showers are weird camp’ (baby less so) but I find myself massivly disagreeing with the stance that ‘if no one throws one, you simply don’t get one.’

 

I would throw my own Bday party without thinking about it (wouldn’t expect anyone else to do it for me) so I find the idea of throwing your own shower far less weird than having one in the first place.

Post # 15
Member
477 posts
Helper bee

Yes, this is very tacky.

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