(Closed) Throwing your own bridal shower a faux pas?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
Member
77 posts
Worker bee

I’ve also got a friend doing the same (arranging her own shower). At least, that is how it appears; for all I know maybe someone organized it for her and she just knows about it and is inviting people. But yeah, I don’t think it’s my place to say anything one way or the other. As another commenter said, maybe it’s just something that is important to her and she didn’t have anyone else to arrange it for her. That said, in the case of my friend, she is doing it quite early on (wedding is months away). Though if I were in her shoes (and really felt that a bridal shower were that important), I’d probably just wait it out and see what happens/ what family and friends have in store.

As for me, prior to our wedding last year, I didn’t even plan to have a bridal shower but my in-laws decided to throw me one a few days before the wedding (when all my out-of-town guests were mostly already in the area), which was really lovely as it turned out to be a way for a good bunch of the important women in my life to get to know each other in a fun and informal way.

Post # 32
Member
13567 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
tiffanybruiser :  You have a point about the registry. Traditionally, they are seen as gift grabby. Other etiquette sources make the distinction that as long as people have to search out a registry or it’s not advertised by the couple themselves, that it’s really just uncovering a list of things the couple intend to collect for the house. I don’t argue that it can seem like a lot of silly spin.

But showers are supposed to be low key intimate events by and for close friends. They are totally optional and voluntary. Many brides do without rather than begging for gifts themselves. 

I also won’t argue that, just as you say, otherwise very nice people can sometimes be clueless or ignorant to proper etiquette. In general, I do think it’s good to give people the benefit of the doubt as to their intentions. That said, it’s hard to believe that people who are not informed, won’t take it upon themselves to do five seconds of googling. 

 

Post # 33
Member
939 posts
Busy bee

If you think that’s bad I know a GROWN ASS WOMAN who moved into a new home, decided to have a house warming party, which she registered for gifts!!! Keep in mind she was single!! 

I almost fell over from the shock. 

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