Thursday Destination Wedding Rude?

posted 2 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 2
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

Unless it was my brother or absolute best friend I would most likely not attend

Post # 3
Member
213 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t say it’s “rude” because all that means is that its bad manners.    I would say its outside the norm and  inconsiderate of peoples time and money.   However, like all invited guests they have the right to politely decline attending as this would most likely mean they have to take off work at minimum Wednesday – Friday instead of a traditional weekend in which they would probably only take off Friday.    As long as you don’t think its rude that your closest friends and family decline to attend due to the day of the week.   I think you are okay in the rudeness factor.   But no fair getting upset or giving people attitude for declining.   Even if its your best friend or your mother.

Post # 4
Member
7899 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

A Thursday destination wedding simply passes on the costs to your guests.  You pay less; they pay more in lost wages, vacation time and inconvenience. It doesn’t save money overall. It saves YOU money  (which I realize is all most people care about).

Post # 5
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Sorry, but I would definitely not go.  I would take a Friday off for a friend or family members wedding, but otherwise eating into my vacation for someone else’s wedding is not something I’m willing to do.

Post # 6
Member
47412 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would decline. 3 days of vacation time, plus all the other expenses of a destination wedding? Thanks for the invitation, but no thanks.

Post # 7
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

You said to be brutally honest, so I will. I would think it was extremely inconsiderate, and I would be pissed about it if it was someone for whom I felt obligated to attend (very close friend or sibling). If it were someone I was less close to, I would absolutely decline. 

Like PP said, it’s not cheaper, it’s just cheaper for you. It’s more expensive for everyone else. I would consider it very selfish. 

Post # 8
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

Yes that would be inconsiderate and difficult on your guests.  Most people have very little vacation days each year, and you are asking your guests to use a big chunk of vacation days for your big day.

If it’s destination and you want people to come, plan it on a Saturday.

Post # 10
Member
3818 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I think a Thursday wedding is fine. It can be an inconvenience to most, but I have a number of friends in the hospitality and restaurant industry and they always lose out by missing the weekend shifts because that’s when they make the most money, so a wedding day can always be inconvenient for someone. If you are willing to accept a lot of declines, because a Thursday destination wedding will likely be an inconvenience to the majority of your guests, then keep the day. If not, either move it to a Saturday, or keep the Thursday date, but make it somewhere local to the majority of guests.

Post # 11
Member
14017 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Is the wedding local to one of your families? If so, by definition it’s not a destination wedding and contrary to what some have said, not rude. It would just mean you’d get a lot of declines. 

If a true destination wedding, meaning local to no one, then it’s the destination aspect that is rude. 

If you are asking what is most convenient for out of town guests and most likely to get good attendance and the least amount of grumbling, it’s definitely not a Thursday. Friday or Sunday may be problematic for some people, but again, if it’s not a destination for everyone, not rude. 

People traveling just for the weekend would likely much prefer a Saturday. For those planning to make a longer trip out of it it may not matter. 

Post # 12
Member
4890 posts
Honey bee

I wouldn’t do Friday.  I assume you mean Friday evening.  I suppose it depends on where people would be traveling from but if it’s someplace that requires layovers and or has limited flights out, they would potentially need to leave on Thursday unless they want to rush directly from the airport to the wedding and traveling + wedding on the same day makes for a really long day.  So this would require most people to take one and a half to two days off work then unless they enjoy feeling rushed and tired for your wedding.

At least with a Sunday wedding they would have after work Friday or all day Saturday to travel and they would only potentially need Monday off for traveling (or potentially no time at all if you had a brunch wedding and they were lucky enough to have flights out Sunday night yet.

I think it still isn’t the most convenient option depending on your crowd (my crowd consists of almost entirely 9-5’ers M-F so I’m answering based on that), but it certainly is far more convenient than Thursday.

Post # 13
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m actually having my wedding on a Thursday, and it will be a destination wedding for my side of the family as my fiance and I live across the country. However:

– we are having it on a Thursday because we are getting married in a public area and there will be less of an inconvenience to the public
– I contacted my family to ask them if this would pose an issue for them before I booked everything
– they all have an interest in visiting this state, some of them are considering coming earlier or staying later
– the wedding is small, only about 30 guests

If we were having a larger wedding, or if my family had raised concerns about taking the time off, I simply would have moved the date. However I’m one of the last to be married in my family and I’ve spent lots of time and money on my siblings’ events, so they were more than willing to be there for me. 

Post # 14
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t do it to save $1k. If you go a Sunday could you plan it for over a long weekend? Otherwise I’d stick to Saturday and try to cut your budget elsewhere.

Post # 15
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2020 - New Orleans, LA

As someone who is having a destination wedding – I’ve come to learn that if people want to come… they’ll come.  No matter where it is or what day it is.  If you want to get married on a Thursday – get married on a Thursday 

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