Thursday Destination Wedding Rude?

posted 2 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 16
Member
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

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annabananabee :  I agree. Sunday would probably be the best option, since they would only potentially have to take off one day of work, as opposed to two or three. I wouldn’t say that Thursday is “rude” per se, but take into account you might have much fewer guests attend. For me, it would have to be someone really important for me to do that. 

Post # 17
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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ihavespace :  I am going to disagree. I absolutely love going to weddings. That being said, I probably wouldn’t attend a Thursday destination wedding. That would require too much time off work. If it was a local Thursday wedding, I would be much more likely to attend.

Post # 18
Member
201 posts
Helper bee

Friday is better than Thursday.

As people have said.. no day is rude, but you have to understand if you pick a weekday fewer people will attend

Post # 19
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

So this is what I think: if I’d have to fly to California for a wedding and I’d decided on going – no matter what day of the week, I’d go for at least 5 days anyhow. I mean US prices for planes tickets are crazy to begin with and if I’d decided to invest that money I might as well get a whole nice trip out of it. So to me it totally wouldn’t matter what day of the week it would be. I could plan around that day and have a good time in California. 

I would never just fly out for 2 days to attend a wedding and climb back on the plane. I don’t think I like anyone in the world enough to do that. (Talking from my perspective/distance/prices as it is right now: expensive flight, long flight time etc. – back home where a round trip around Europe costs 100€ and it’s a 2-3 hour flight – I still would make a whole long weekend 5 day trip out of it)

I will be attending a wedding in December in Florida (I am in NE) and I will be staying about 2-3 weeks… can’t wait to go! 

Post # 20
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - Summer Camp!

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annabananabee :  True, but flights are more expensive on Sundays and Fridays, so it’s not really saving the guests money (although certainly vacation time). 

 

I think Friday evening or Sunday are fine if it cuts costs a bit. Sunday brunch is probably slightly preferable of those options though in terms of time missed/traffic. As someone else said, you know the makeup of professions within your friends and family. It’s going to be a hard time for school employees regardless if it’s not in the summer, and service workers will have a hard time on the weekends. You’re probably not going to make everyone happy, but it is what it is. 

Post # 21
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2020 - City, State

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Skivies91 :  Our wedding will be on a Thursday. Fiance and I are in a similar situation where our family members and friends live in multiple different states and could not avoid the fact that this would be a destination wedding for all invitees. I am not sure how many people you are planning to invite, but if you are keeping it small it may be worth reaching out to those individuals and see if they are willing to make the trip to your wedding a mini vacation. I’m sure many would take going to SoCal as an opportunity for a vacation– if financially possible, of course– because, really, who would fly out to california for just 2 days? So I think the weekend scenario may not hold as much weight as if you were doing a local wedding or one of a driveable distance.  At the end of the day, you know the people you want to invite; ask their opinion. They may not find it ‘rude’ or ‘unreasonable’ 

 

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strawberrysakura :  You’re the first bee I’ve seen having a small intimate wedding! I am also having around 20 to 30 people. Would love to reach out to you and see what you have planned in terms of entertaining guests at the reception!

Post # 23
Member
7625 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

If I’m flying out to CA anyways, no way I’m going to pay that ticket price for only a weekend. So to me, it wouldn’t matter if it’s a Thursday or Saturday as I would plan on working a few extra days there anyways.

It might be best to reach out to your guests and ask.

Post # 24
Member
2734 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I wouldn’t attend a destination wedding except for my very best friend or a close family member, due to it likely requiring PTO and an expensive plane ticket or hours on the road (depending on the distance). So the day of the week wouldn’t matter for me. However, for the people who are attending (perhaps your best friend(s) or close family members) a Saturday or Sunday makes the most sense logistically, because it likely requires less PTO.

Some Bees are saying that they’d just make it a vacation, but that is not always the case. I just took a vacation that I’ve had planned for months, so if I was invited to a destination wedding two months ago, it wouldn’t become a vacation for me – because I already have my own vacations planned and have scheduled out my PTO. Also, that outlook assumes that guests have a desire to vacation to that area (California is an expensive vacation destination in the US) or haven’t already been.

Post # 25
Member
1591 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not interested in attending any weddings that aren’t on Saturday if they require a plane ride and I’m not going to take vacation time unless I’m a bridesmaid. If I have to connect in order to get to the destination, or the destination is more than 45 minutes from the airport, I won’t go no matte what day it is unless I’m a bridesmaid because that’s just a lot of hassle and I would rather just send a check. 

I had one friend who put her wedding at 3pm on Sunday in a city I had to fly to. I flew in that morning, attended the ceremony and one hour of the reception (left halfway through eating my entree and way before cake) in order to catch the last flight back home that night.  

Post # 26
Member
13903 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would not travel for a Thursday destination wedding unless you were incredibly close to me.  Sure, you save 1k, but you pass that cost on to me (and all of your guests) in additional time off from work and hotel costs for the likely longer stay.  You save 1k, to cost all of your guests 1k more EACH. 

Post # 27
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

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khaleesi13 :  As someone coming from the east coast, I would actually prefer a Friday to a Sunday for a wedding on the west coast. On Friday I could potentially just leave a little early or take a half day and still make it there on time. Sunday is really tough due to the time difference and it’s often easier for people to leave earlier on Friday than to come in late on Monday. This is definitely a personal preference thing (I’m sure there are people who could survive taking a redeye and going right to work lol) but just something for OP to think about.

Post # 28
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

If it were ME, I ould probably come no matter what day bc Fiance & I could make a mini-vacation out of it. I’m 25 with no kids and have 3 weeks PTO. We would just need a lot of notice (5 months+) so that we could budget for a vacation of that magnitude. 

If we were “expected” to fly in on Tues/Wed and leave Fri, I would decline.

Post # 29
Member
1687 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I’m glad to see you decided against a Thursday wedding. While plenty of bees (myself included) are fortunate enough to have the money/vacation time to make a mini-vacation out of a destination wedding, TONS of people are not. And even some that you think might be able to make it work, may have some challenges behind the scenes that make it impossible. A lot of American companies provide as few as 7 vacation days per year, and taking off Wednesday/Thursday/Friday eats up half of them, to say nothing of the travel money required.

 

If Saturday isn’t an option, I’d absolutely go for a Sunday wedding. People can drive/fly in on Saturday and then leave Monday, meaning only one day of vacation taken, if that’s a concern. 

Post # 30
Member
565 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - City, State

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Skivies91 :  Sundays are probably more acceptable than Fridays. I’m lucky enough at this point in my life that I have the disposable income to buy flights, vacations, etc – but not the time! I recently got “upgraded” to having eight whole days of PTO per year, and only 5 paid holidays (so: if I want to take the Friday after Thanksgiving, or Christmas Eve, or Boxing Day, or New Year’s Eve, or Easter Monday, or literally any holiday-adjacent day, that comes out of my PTO). That’s all. Using two (Thursday/Friday) for a wedding for anyone except myself is a hard pass at this point.

That said, if your wedding can’t accommodate everyone, so be it. Just make sure you are gracious and thoughtful to those who can’t make it. I always see some variation on “The people who REALLY care will make it” bandied about on these boards, and that’s just horseshit. Love the people who show up, and love the folks who can’t.

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