- 2 years ago
- Wedding: July 2017
Friday is better than Thursday.
As people have said.. no day is rude, but you have to understand if you pick a weekday fewer people will attend
So this is what I think: if I’d have to fly to California for a wedding and I’d decided on going – no matter what day of the week, I’d go for at least 5 days anyhow. I mean US prices for planes tickets are crazy to begin with and if I’d decided to invest that money I might as well get a whole nice trip out of it. So to me it totally wouldn’t matter what day of the week it would be. I could plan around that day and have a good time in California.
I would never just fly out for 2 days to attend a wedding and climb back on the plane. I don’t think I like anyone in the world enough to do that. (Talking from my perspective/distance/prices as it is right now: expensive flight, long flight time etc. – back home where a round trip around Europe costs 100€ and it’s a 2-3 hour flight – I still would make a whole long weekend 5 day trip out of it)
I will be attending a wedding in December in Florida (I am in NE) and I will be staying about 2-3 weeks… can’t wait to go!
I think Friday evening or Sunday are fine if it cuts costs a bit. Sunday brunch is probably slightly preferable of those options though in terms of time missed/traffic. As someone else said, you know the makeup of professions within your friends and family. It’s going to be a hard time for school employees regardless if it’s not in the summer, and service workers will have a hard time on the weekends. You’re probably not going to make everyone happy, but it is what it is.
If I’m flying out to CA anyways, no way I’m going to pay that ticket price for only a weekend. So to me, it wouldn’t matter if it’s a Thursday or Saturday as I would plan on working a few extra days there anyways.
It might be best to reach out to your guests and ask.
I wouldn’t attend a destination wedding except for my very best friend or a close family member, due to it likely requiring PTO and an expensive plane ticket or hours on the road (depending on the distance). So the day of the week wouldn’t matter for me. However, for the people who are attending (perhaps your best friend(s) or close family members) a Saturday or Sunday makes the most sense logistically, because it likely requires less PTO.
Some Bees are saying that they’d just make it a vacation, but that is not always the case. I just took a vacation that I’ve had planned for months, so if I was invited to a destination wedding two months ago, it wouldn’t become a vacation for me – because I already have my own vacations planned and have scheduled out my PTO. Also, that outlook assumes that guests have a desire to vacation to that area (California is an expensive vacation destination in the US) or haven’t already been.
I’m not interested in attending any weddings that aren’t on Saturday if they require a plane ride and I’m not going to take vacation time unless I’m a bridesmaid. If I have to connect in order to get to the destination, or the destination is more than 45 minutes from the airport, I won’t go no matte what day it is unless I’m a bridesmaid because that’s just a lot of hassle and I would rather just send a check.
I had one friend who put her wedding at 3pm on Sunday in a city I had to fly to. I flew in that morning, attended the ceremony and one hour of the reception (left halfway through eating my entree and way before cake) in order to catch the last flight back home that night.
I would not travel for a Thursday destination wedding unless you were incredibly close to me. Sure, you save 1k, but you pass that cost on to me (and all of your guests) in additional time off from work and hotel costs for the likely longer stay. You save 1k, to cost all of your guests 1k more EACH.
If it were ME, I ould probably come no matter what day bc Fiance & I could make a mini-vacation out of it. I’m 25 with no kids and have 3 weeks PTO. We would just need a lot of notice (5 months+) so that we could budget for a vacation of that magnitude.
If we were “expected” to fly in on Tues/Wed and leave Fri, I would decline.
I’m glad to see you decided against a Thursday wedding. While plenty of bees (myself included) are fortunate enough to have the money/vacation time to make a mini-vacation out of a destination wedding, TONS of people are not. And even some that you think might be able to make it work, may have some challenges behind the scenes that make it impossible. A lot of American companies provide as few as 7 vacation days per year, and taking off Wednesday/Thursday/Friday eats up half of them, to say nothing of the travel money required.
If Saturday isn’t an option, I’d absolutely go for a Sunday wedding. People can drive/fly in on Saturday and then leave Monday, meaning only one day of vacation taken, if that’s a concern.
That said, if your wedding can’t accommodate everyone, so be it. Just make sure you are gracious and thoughtful to those who can’t make it. I always see some variation on “The people who REALLY care will make it” bandied about on these boards, and that’s just horseshit. Love the people who show up, and love the folks who can’t.