(Closed) Time between wedding…..20 year friendship at stake.

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
7418 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Your friend is acting like a big baby. If he doesn’t grow up, it might not be the end of the world to not have him in your life any more.

Post # 3
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

foerst1:  breathe easy. 🙂  You and your fiancé selected a date based on their feedback about the fall timeframe.  Considering your limitations with your job and ailing fathers, I think your planning is fine. 

I understand the fear of losing a friend.  Is it possible to grab a beer with your buddy and explain your rationalization for picking that date?  Your friend may realize that they were overreacting.

People get sensitive about engagements and who gets married first.  Honestly, if they are seriously planning to wed in the DC area by the summer timeframe, they will likely have trouble finding a venue!  Most of the places we looked at were booked at least a year in advance. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by  BridalBlossom.
Post # 4
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Your friend is being ridiculous.

Post # 5
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

agreed. Your friend is being ridiculous. You are not stealing thunder. 

Post # 6
Member
5224 posts
Bee Keeper

foerst1:  Move forward with your date. It doesn’t even sound like they have nailed down firm date for theirs.

Post # 7
Member
688 posts
Busy bee

foerst1: They’re the ones being rude and ridiculous. You don’t plan your own wedding around others’ wedding/engagements. And it’s not even like you knew they were going for those dates. Either way, they need to suck it up and get over it. Do whatever date works for you and your Fiance. 

Post # 9
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

foerst1:  Are they aware of your reasoning? If they are, it’s pretty selfish of them to say those things especially with the circumstances. Many people on here will say “they get a day, not x amount of time”, which is true. They can’t dictate when you get married. A lot of people I know got engaged after us and married before us. They’re not “stealing our thunder”. So no, you’re not in the wrong. They are.

Post # 10
Member
1845 posts
Buzzing bee

foerst1:  Your friend is being pretty selfish. As a PP stated you guys picked your date based on what they had said about their current plans (ie, fall) and what worked for you! I’m sure if they had said when you saw them that they were thinking of those three weekends you would have steered clear as much as possible, but they can’t honestly expect you to just not plan anything until after they chose a date.

I was in a similar situation where FI’s best mate got engaged about a month before we did. Among early conversations they said they were planning for April/May 2016 which worked for us because we were planning on late Feb/early March 2016. We went ahead and picked our date (Feb 20th 2016) and then told them. He got all frustrated like your friend saying that we only did that to ‘beat them to the wedding because they beat us to get engaged’ and that we should have waited until they picked their date because they were engaged first. They went on about how they wanted to get married in early March so they hope our honeymoon won’t be planned for straight after the wedding and that we were being inconsiderate to not have asked them there plans before we booked our venue/chose our date. Gahh. They got over it eventually.

Post # 12
Member
2348 posts
Buzzing bee

foerst1:  Oh, lord. I cannot imagine having friends who would get mad about me “stealing their thunder” and getting married early because we had family members who otherwise potentially couldn’t be there. I mean, yes, getting married is a big deal. And yes, your close friends and family should make a fuss over you, but that doesn’t mean the entire world stops. 

Post # 14
Member
712 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Yeah, don’t move your date around to appease people. You can’t make everyone happy. I learned this the hard way and moved my venues three times until I said ENOUGH!!!! You can’t have a wedding month, week, year. You have your wedding and honestly, most of your guests move on from it and go back to their lives. I have a friend getting married a little over a month after me and I am ecstatic. I couldn’t imagine telling her to move her date. You can’t “steal someone’s thunder” unless you get married on their date and at the same time. Please don’t be a walking mat to these people and please focus on making your Fiance happy. That should be first, NOT your friends! 

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