Post # 1
As I’ve posted before, we are living on one income (mine) which takes its toll everyday. I’ve diy’ed everything, and bougth my dress on sale. We were lucky to have a great location for our wedding, an incredible art gallery for only $30.00, and a wonderful cafe for our reception, which I am paying for as well. Our guest list is only 18, and had to state that no kids are allowed, which made me feel bad but with the location of the ceremony and the cost of paying for the food bill, I just couldn’t swing paying for everyone’s kids and I would be nervious as hell with them in the gallery. Because I am paying for the entire thing, I’ve had to compromise like you wouldn’t believe!! My own sister whom I asked to be the Maid/Matron of Honor hasn’t helped at all and has blown up at my FH over something he didn’t do..she’s stressed and goes off on him, because he was the only one in the room..so I’m pissed off at her. I have been near tears for weeks. Now, my FH tells me that he doesn’t like the cafe; he’s eaten there before and didn’t like the food. WTF?? Why couldn’t he tell me that before I sent out the STD’s??? Our wedding is set for 10/3/09. I have no idea what to do now. I chose the cafe because I worked there when it first opened 20 yrs ago and the owner and I are good friends, and it has a separate room to accomodate my party, and no deposit required. I am at a loss now. I am that close to just making some Ham, salads, order cupcakes from Costco and call it a day.
I still have to make our invites, but now have lost the excitement of making them.
I’m an encore bride, and my first wedding was run to the court house, and throw together a bbq afterwards. I’m really disappointed that it seems like it will happen again with this wedding…I’m at a loss and the worse thing is I have no one to cry to or vent my frustrations…well, besides my bees.
I’m making my own bouquet, my cousin is taking our pics and our dear friend will officiate. I was so excited and proud to have been able to pull this off for 1K, but now, with no place to have the reception, besides my backyard, I’m truly sad about the whole affair. If I didn’t have kids, I would just say let’s elope!
Thanks for letting me vent…
Post # 3
Ok, first of all, breathe. You are taking on too much of the load. You are stressing yourself out too much. Don’t make any rash decisions when you are this stressed and on the verge of losing it. I am sorry that you feel like crying, but sometimes crying does help.
Here is my opinion. I say you keep the cafe because you’re not going to find too many places that let you use a place for free. Since your Fiance doesn’t like the food from there, order food just for him, from his favorite restaurant. What does he like? Pizza? Spaghetti? Tacos? Maybe food from your first date? Can you remember what he ordered? Have them deliver it to the cafe. Then you can explain to the owner that it’s a “special surprise” for your new husband.
Since your wedding is only about 7 weeks away, you don’t have room to second guess. Pick what you like that is within your budget. Try not to stress. Talk to your FH about how your feeling and ask him for help.
Lastly, I think you need a day or two of non-wedding activities. Go for long walks. Go to the park. Hike in the woods. Take a hot bath. Read a book. Have a picnic. Old movie marathon. Do some yoga. Pray. Watch I love Lucy. Whatever it takes to help bring back your optimism that your started with. Try and bring back the excitement you had. Good luck.
Post # 4
wow, love, please put your feet up and set aside your to do list with a glass of wine. Guys say things and then never think about them again; he may not realize what a huge deal it would be for him to say that he doesn’t like your choice of venue especially with all that you are doing – um, everything.
The wedding is about the two of you. I would have an honest conversation with him as it is not just about the cafe, it is about the load you have taken on, the unbelievable amount of work that you have done, and the fact that you are paying for it. My Fiance and I are paying for our wedding and money- who pays for what – was an issue before I thought about each other’s strengths and weaknesses. He will never be a budget guy or someone who is going to get things done right away.
Talk with him. Not about changing things but about the cafe. If he doesn’t like it, I agree with Charm Bracelet, ask him what elements can be brought in that represent him. You will feel so much better if you approach it from an honest place. The place being that you love him madly and that every bow that you tie is your love and commitment to your relationship.
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club
Breathe in, breathe out! It will all be ok! If you picked out the cafe because you liked it, then it should be great! Don’t worry about what people may say/think…you chose it for a good reason, so don’t second guess yourself! Everything has a way of working itself out in the end…you just have to trust that it will unfold!
Post # 6
it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. take a breather. you mention you’re the one with the income at the moment. could you delegate some things to him? it’s not fair for you to bring home the bacon AND plan the wedding all on your own.
if he really doesn’t like the place, give him 36 hours to find an alternative (yes that might be short but that’s what you have with the time left and him not telling you earlier). if he can’t find one, then go with what you have! to charmbracelet’s point, you can always order something special for him.
Post # 7
Thank you ladies for your encouragement and advice. I talked with FH and he was so sweet and understanding. He didn’t realize that this would cause stress/problems, so we are sticking with the cafe. He took on some projects this past weekend: remake of the map I created, much nicer and it will fit in our invite suite AND helped out with the creation of our invites!! I am one lucky gal!! He is also going to create our DIY favors-another big project.
Our wedding date is fast approaching, I can’t wait!!!!
Thank you beehive for your support and great advice..I would be lost without you!
Post # 8
relax, if your fiance doesnt like it tough, he should have told you beforehand not after the fact