(Closed) Time is running out and I’m freaking out

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ok, first of all, breathe.  You are taking on too much of the load. You are stressing yourself out too much.  Don’t make any rash decisions when you are this stressed and on the verge of losing it.  I am sorry that you feel like crying, but sometimes crying does help.

Here is my opinion.  I say you keep the cafe because you’re not going to find too many places that let you use a place for free.  Since your Fiance doesn’t like the food from there, order food just for him, from his favorite restaurant.  What does he like? Pizza? Spaghetti? Tacos? Maybe food from your first date? Can you remember what he ordered? Have them deliver it to the cafe.  Then you can explain to the owner that it’s a “special surprise” for your new husband.  

Since your wedding is only about 7 weeks away, you don’t have room to second guess.  Pick what you like that is within your budget.  Try not to stress. Talk to your FH about how your feeling and ask him for help.

Lastly, I think you need a day or two of non-wedding activities.  Go for long walks.  Go to the park. Hike in the woods.  Take a hot bath.  Read a book. Have a picnic. Old movie marathon. Do some yoga.  Pray. Watch I love Lucy.  Whatever it takes to help bring back your optimism that your started with.  Try and bring back the excitement you had.   Good luck.

Post # 4
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

wow, love, please put your feet up and set aside your to do list with a glass of wine.  Guys say things and then never think about them again; he may not realize what a huge deal it would be for him to say that he doesn’t like your choice of venue especially with all that you are doing – um, everything.

The wedding is about the two of you. I would have an honest conversation with him as it is not just about the cafe, it is about the load you have taken on, the unbelievable amount of work that you have done, and the fact that you are paying for it. My Fiance and I are paying for our wedding and money- who pays for what – was an issue before I thought about each other’s strengths and weaknesses.  He will never be a budget guy or someone who is going to get things done right away. 

Talk with him. Not about changing things but about the cafe. If he doesn’t like it, I agree with Charm Bracelet, ask him what elements can be brought in that represent him.  You will feel so much better if you approach it from an honest place. The place being that you love him madly and that every bow that you tie is your love and commitment to your relationship.

Good luck!

Post # 5
1037 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club

Breathe in, breathe out! It will all be ok! If you picked out the cafe because you liked it, then it should be great! Don’t worry about what people may say/think…you chose it for a good reason, so don’t second guess yourself! Everything has a way of working itself out in the end…you just have to trust that it will unfold!

Post # 6
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. take a breather. you mention you’re the one with the income at the moment. could you delegate some things to him? it’s not fair for you to bring home the bacon AND plan the wedding all on your own.

if he really doesn’t like the place, give him 36 hours to find an alternative (yes that might be short but that’s what you have with the time left and him not telling you earlier). if he can’t find one, then go with what you have! to charmbracelet’s point, you can always order something special for him.

Post # 8
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

relax, if your fiance doesnt like it tough, he should have told you beforehand not after the fact


good luck

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