(Closed) Time Magazine Breastfeeding Follow-up

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
46329 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m neither pro nor con attached parenting, but when you think of it, humans are the only mammal that doesn’t nurse their young until they no longer need breastmilk or the nutrition it provides.

Somewhere along the line it became beneath women of status to breastfeed, so they had wet nurses to do it for them.

Then later someone figured out how to make money and invented and produced formula.

Just saying…

Post # 4
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I won’t judge her for her decision, and I think some of the comments on the previous post were downright nasty.

No mother deserves to be called “disgusting” or “gross” for doing something perfectly natural that her body is designed to do.

Our cultural norms of when weaning should occur have, and probably will always, ebb and flow.  The current societal norm is far older than it was in the 80s, so for everyone who judged her for BF-ing her 3 year old, know that a bunch of catty women in the mid 80’s would have probably said the same about you if you BF’d to 12-15 months.

There is no evidence in the medical research that BF-ing in to the toddler years causes any adverse physical or psychological effects. There is also no evidence in the medical literature that those who chose not to Boyfriend or Best Friend that long are putting their children at any disadvantage.

Therefore, based on the current medical literature, this is a deeply personal decision, not a matter of right or wrong, “disgusting” vs. not.

That being said, I find the decision to put this on the cover a magazine, along with what can be perceived as “challenge” to other moms to be “out-mothered”, to be in poor taste.  Its her personal decision, so it should stay personal.  I respect her reasons to breastfeed, I don’t respect her putting a picture of it on the cover of magazine, exposing her family to the judgement of strangers, who can be incredibly cruel.

Post # 5
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m pro-breastfeeding (but don’t judge people who don’t want to/physically can’t.) As a nurse with L&D experience, there isn’t any health benefit to breastfeeding past 6-12 months of age, there is only the benefit of bonding. For me, to continue to breastfeed longer than that is to fulfill the desires and wishes of the mother, not the child, so I don’t believe the child’s “best interest” is at the root of doing so. Additionally, equally important to forging a bond with your child is to teach your child independence from a young age. By fostering a child’s reliance on the parent in this manner, you are prohibiting them from developing their own sense of self.

Also, think back to your earliest memory. For me, I was about 2 years old and still in diapers. I think that having a recollection of breastfeeding could potentially cause psychosocial issues in the child at a later age, especially if the child is a male.

I generally find that women who breastfeed this late are satisfying more of their own needs and desires than those of the child, and probably have some attachment issues themselves.

 

Post # 7
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

The women in my family generally stop once the teeth come in. Oftentimes they tolerate it until 18 months. The generation before me stopped at around 3-4 (because we were generally too poor to buy formula).

Post # 8
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My $.02 – you can’t compate Boyfriend or Best Friend a child to an animal. Animals can’t speak, don’t have the level of consciousness to care or know that they are Boyfriend or Best Friend, don’t make their own food otherwise, and don’t have a social stigma (<–word choice… any feeling about the body whatsoever) around boobs. 

Post # 9
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

One of my friend breastfed her son until he’s 6 years old and that’s normal for her culture.  I breastfed my son until he’s almost 3 years old and I was happy I was able to do that.  My son hardly gets sick and he recovers way faster than other kids when he’s sick.  So I thanks that to breastfeeding.

Post # 10
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m on board with however you want to feed your kid, but asking me if I’m “Mom Enough?” while staring defiantly into the camera isn’t exactly making me applaud the general message. I’m not all “Oh noes boob!!!” I just find the whole thing kind of eye roll worthy, but not gross.

Post # 11
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am against attachment parenting.  I think it is more about the parent than the child, and I don’t think that is fair.  Children don’t know what is right or wrong and I think it is a parent’s job to assert themselves and have rules and boundaries.  By the parent not asserting their will over the child, they are asserting their will- by not asserting it.  They are asserting their will not to assert their will.  Raising a child in a way that the world revolves around them is not healthy, IMO. 

No matter what, she made that kid do that in that photo/ for that photo and that is disturbing.

I agree with Miss Orchard.

Post # 12
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@cbee:  And I agree with you!

Post # 13
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@cbee:  “I think it is more about the parent than the child, and I don’t think that is fair.  Children don’t know what is right or wrong and I think it is a parent’s job to assert themselves and have rules and boundaries.  By the parent not asserting their will over the child, they are asserting their will- by not asserting it.  They are asserting their will not to assert their will.  Raising a child in a way that the world revolves around them is not healthy, IMO.”

I agree with you on all of this!

Post # 14
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sent from my Android

@mandypop:  

Post # 15
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Nat_can:  what would you say the average is in Canada?

Moms really cant win in our culture – which is why I hate that stuff like this turns in to a judgement-fest.   If she weans too early, she’s called “selfish” or told she should try harder to breast feed longer… if she weans too late, she gets called “disgusting” and “gross” by a bunch of strangers.

How about letting a mom do what she feels is best for her and her baby, considering there is absolutely NO medical or psychological evidence to determine the exact age one should stop breastfeeding? 

Post # 16
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Here’s what I don’t get about the uproar over extended breastfeeding (I couldn’t see the link so I’m not commenting specifically on *this* mother and what she might have said) – what harm does it cause *you* if a woman breastfeeds her child until they’re 3 or 4 or whatever? How is it hurting *you*?

The topic ‘Time Magazine Breastfeeding Follow-up’ is closed to new replies.

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